To be freaking out at turning 40.

Menopause is much worse than 40, count yourself lucky it hasn’t hit you yet because it’s debilitating. You still have a few years of being young and healthy and pain free.

I'm 65 and I'm overjoyed to get there - mainly because I am eligible for national superannuation from today 😅(not in the UK obviously).

I enjoyed turning 40, 50, and 60 - and hopefully will enjoy turning 70. We all have our turn at being "young", and should celebrate each year with joy, so many don't get the chance. I read in our local paper today of the death of a 17 year old, which really puts things into perspective.

Btw - in my head I'm still 16!

I can still remember my grandma telling me that in her head she was always about 21, and every time she looked in a mirror it was a shock to see how old she looked. I feel a bit like that too now, in my 40s - in my head I’m just the same, but the mirror shows some wrinkly, tired-looking middle aged person and I’m not quite reconciled with them yet! There’s also this sense of time running out - my 30s also passed in a haze of child-rearing, and I didn’t do much in my 20s except work in jobs I hated and try to save money… I feel some urgency to do all my ‘bucket list’ stuff now before I get too old but honestly don’t have the time, energy or motivation (still trying to keep afloat and look after older kids/teenagers). Like other posters I’ve already lost friends to cancer, so I’m trying to really appreciate what I have and be grateful. The feeling of ageing is definitely strange though. I used to feel like I had all the time in the world.

Honestly I have felt similar to you. Not so much approaching my 40th but from 42 onwards when I started getting hormonal changes related to perimenopause. It's a scary thought to feel your body is changing for the worse and that there is no going back to your youth! There isn't a huge difference in how you feel between 25 and 35, but 35 to 45 is a shock. However I use expensive skincare and HRT, Mounjaro for weight loss, personal trainer for strength, as well as expensive hair cuts, semi permanent make up and other expensive things and by spending a lot of money and time on upkeep I feel and look ok 😆😆

I’m the same age as you OP and feeling a little freaked out too. Although for me it’s not grey hairs or wrinkles (I have the grey but oddly no real wrinkles at all) but because I haven’t had kids yet and I’m conscious that time is running or has run out for me. Having a child in your 40s just seems so much harder than in your 30s.

I will add my perspective. I am turning 40 in a few months from now. In these last few months of being 39, I feel -

1. Grateful to the point of being surprised that I have somehow managed to live so far, not get a major illness and have two wonderful DC, my parents and my spouse. I've seen a colleague aged 34 get breast cancer, anoter close friend have a sudden death leaving a 4 year old - so why not me?
2. Utterly mindful - at random moments - on family walks, at picnics, whatever - that this moment here - when DS and DD are squabbling, DH is snoozing, or I am annoyed with a work colleague or the groceries delivery - that these are huge privileges, and not one of these things should be taken for granted.

The pandemic, Ukraine, Gaza, cost of living, and various personal sphere illnesses have done their work for the post 35 period in my life, for me to just be grateful as I wait for my 40th birthday.

I think approaching 40 is actually worse than reaching it. I found it was a point I thought about my future more. I'm 48, early 40s were great but I'm getting peri symptoms now and last couple years I've had to keep an eye on health issues more. Oddly I'm not worried about reaching 50 in 18mths compared to the same point before reaching 40.

Being in your 40s rocks. Old enough to have learned from mistakes and emotions, young enough to enjoy life to the full.

40s, and getting old disgracefully here. 💃

Well YABU to a certain extent but then I absolutely get where you are coming from so YANBU. I think it's taken me a bit longer - I'm freaking out at 45. I feel like I've aged massively in the 5 years. I'll sometimes get ready to go out and think I look alright but then my the time I look in a mirror again I look like a shiny potato! I'm useless at make up and always have been. But I often feel it's made me look worse anyway.

I'm less worried about what young girls wear - really it's no different to what young girls were wearing when I was young. But I find the contouring and giant lashes a bit terrifying! And fillers just look awful (and aging on young girls).

I find myself looking at people (on TV mainly) wondering how old they are. Am I older or younger? Do I look older or younger? It's pathetic really. I wish I wasn't doing it. But I can't help it!

I just turned 50, it’s fine.

I had cancer at 31 which always makes me feel grateful for every year I’m healthy but aside from that, I don’t mind getting older.

I resigned my job this week with nothing to go to yet. I wouldn’t have done that a few years ago! I feel more confident and assured in my decisions which is lovely.

There is lots to enjoy about getting older😊

Turned 40 recently. I feel like my 30s was all about the dc and I'm already enjoying my 40s being more about me again. It feels like a door opening wide to something new.

I freaked turning 40! Never happened to me before. I’m used to being 40 now but it took some time.

I'm turning 39 on Saturday and sure what about it? Happier in my own skin than I ever have been, give way less sh*ts about what others think of me and yeah, the time has flown by but this is how we all feel. Two of my pals passed away at within months of each other; one 38 and one 39 a year ago and it frightened the life out of me because I know that they were so YOUNG, not so old.Just celebrate being this young....honestly,it's a privilege to age.Crack open the vino and be happy to watch the time tick by

Bollocks is 40 old! You just think it is at the moment.

In my 40s I got divorced, started a new career, ran a half marathon, contributed a chapter to a published book, presented at a major international work conference, bought a flat, learned Italian properly, learned to crochet, had a purple Grade 2 for a bit & started fostering cats. You have loads of time ahead of you to do new & exciting stuff.

It is a privilege, @WAITthisIS40 . My mum hated the thought of turning 50 and never made it. Im now older than she managed to get to, and I’ve noticed the wrinkles on my forehead that used to disappear when I stopped looking surprised never disappear! lol but you know, I think to myself, I’ve earned these wrinkles. I like them. I know it’s not like that for everyone but it’s so important to try and feel happy in your own skin. It took me years to feel happy in mine. All the best to you 💐

I'm loving all us over 40s with zero fucks 😂

I think your forties are great. It’s good feeling older and wiser. Of course hormones can start to shift as you get into your mid to late forties, and you might have ageing parents to care for, but it’s a great decade.

You sound very invested in your appearance. We get old. We go grey. We get wrinkles. I found 40 to be liberating. I no longer care what anyone thinks of my appearance. I’m never going to be as attractive as women half my age but I make the best of what I have - which isn’t much. Too many friends didn’t get to be 40. I thank God I’m alive every day.

Birthdays are for the lucky/privileged.

I know it sounds brutal, growing older is no joke, but it's still better than the alternative.

Dont freak out, it's not all bad. Remember the 90s were only 10 years ago 😂

You become privy to the secret switch too, the one where you just don't care what people think and you don't tolerate bullshit and are totally unapologetic for it! It's a magical time.

Listen I'm over 60 and I feel like 35 inside. It's a shock when I run into old friends and I see how old they are looking and then realise I'm the same!
And yea - what's the alternative? My husband passed away at 51. Sure he'd much rather be turning 66 this year.

I hated turning 30, 40 was fine - had my birthday on a ferry to Ireland for a 2 week holiday, during which we impulsively bought a house, and moved over here later that year. Life took off in a big way and I had a whale of a time throughout my 40s. 50 was a challenge, it sounded 'old' although I still felt 20-something on the inside (still do!) - but 60 was, again, no problem at all. I'm now 65 and loving life. Yeah, my waist has vanished, I have some wrinkles, my hair has aged alarmingly (think fine and curly when it's always been fairly thick and straight) - but I'm happier than I've ever been and am rather in awe at having achieved this age. Enjoy your 40s - it really can get better as you get older!

I dreaded turning 40 and same as you op I wasnt bothered about 30 but 40 sounded old (crazy I know in the scheme of an average life).

I ended up having the best year ever I did so many things as part of turning 40, breaks away, white water rafting, hikes, climbed mountains, nights out, city breaks and think it's my favourite year of being alive. I also look way better at 40 than I did at 30 with young kids.

I've found this next year (soon to turn 41) good as well, the angst seems to have stopped and I guess I've just accepted it.

It didn't help I was doing a bit of dating and everywhere is full of messages like 'once you're over 40 there is NOTHING left for you' but there is ha.

I'm definitely transitioning in to more of the grateful phase of being alive and in good health and appreciating that my life is pretty decent overall.

I love being in my 40's, I have developed a "who gives a fuck" attitude to everything and have developed the confidence to carry it off.

I loved my 40's, it was my favourite decade. My 'fuckit' attitude kicked in, my confidence increased, I stopped caring so much about what other people thought.

Enjoy it... 50 hits hard.