Why so many husband problems?

82 replies

Curiousto · 07/08/2024 14:40

I've just spent the morning with my friend listening, again, about to all her husband issues.

She's one of 4 friends who have ongoing problems. All 4 would rather tolerate the low level annoyances, deceit, laziness, lies and rudeness than say "I'm done". All 4 have moaned about their men for years.

I turn on MN and 4 of the 5 trending threads are about 'D' Hs

Why on earth do wives put up with so much crap from husbands? And why do we as a society breed this in both men and women?

My personal stance on this is that I couldn't be happier 5 years on from my 20yr marriage ending. I was done with his crap. Those 4 friends "wish they could be like me and get rid" They all see how much happier I am now but still themselves put up with being sad and cross 90% of the time.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

OP posts:

Deserthog · 07/08/2024 14:54

Partly that people don’t post about the good stuff.

Partly that society grooms women to tolerate all sorts of shit for the “life goal” of being married with kids. As a result women often need to have low standards to be able to achieve this.

CanIinterestyouinasarcasticcomment · 07/08/2024 14:51

I stayed for the financial security, not because I relied on him, simply because 2 incomes made for a better life than 1.

4 months post separation after 13 years together, and I am so bloody happy.

Ok, I have less disposable income, I wont be having a holiday this year, but my priorities have changed now, missing out on 2 weeks in the sun vs being miserable around the clock.

I also got myself a puppy, ex would never ever agree to a dog, we are such a happy household now, no one is walking on eggshells, we are all free to be ourselves. I do nag more about turning lights and appliances off, and not having the heating on when it drops chilly at night, but we can now all cuddle up with the pooch and a blanket on the sofa.

DadJoke · 07/08/2024 14:50

People with lovely husbands don't post threads on mumsnet - that's not what it's for.

HateMyselfToo · 07/08/2024 14:50

For me...
Daughter just starting GCSE's, even an amicable split would be disruptive. Can't do it to her. Then it will be A-levels. Then the sunk cost idea. Generally money. It's not that bad...etc..

It IS a big step to leave. You marry believing it will be forever.

Raasclaat · 07/08/2024 14:48

The world was an easier place when women didnt have forums like this to pore over every minute detail of their husbands behaviour. Its almost become fashionable now to say how much of a shit DH is. I sincerely doubt all 4 of your friends husbands are seriously nasty bar stewards.

middleagedandinarage · 07/08/2024 14:46

Money/security, I will have a much more comfortable lifestyle if I stay with H.
Kids, don't want them having a broken home and as much as H is a shit H, he's a brilliant dad

TizerorFizz · 07/08/2024 14:42

Money? I’m my case - money. Making sure I’m on the premises to get my dues.

Unflip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread