DP telling me I need to pay him a rent

@Cinnamonginger

And if we do talk about what's morally right and move on from the legalities, then you're spot on - I also wouldn't want to be in charge of someone's housing status. I wouldn't want to be what stands between them being housed or homeless. I would feel morally repugnant if I had to boot out someone who was paying my mortgage until a day ago. Me being a woman is also at the forefront of my mind - I never want to be in a situation where I have to "evict" a man in a midst of a potentially volatile break up. Shudder.

With someone who can bring a contribution to the plate, shared assets via marriage is the only way I could see a mutually beneficial outcome.
But at this stage in life, I'm happy keeping it simple and keeping it separate.

It’s not crazy. He is the father of my child and fully contributes to all our expenses. I bet you wouldn’t be saying it was crazy if a man put a woman on his deeds in these circumstances.

I don’t think there’s any way back from this if you consider the implications.

He was fine with you paying a lump sum off his mortgage with no proof, and no entitlement to any equity as a result. It was only when you mentioned that if something happened to him you would have nothing (as would be the case if you split up) and arranged for the declaration of trust that he got angry. If he was genuine, he would be concerned that the situation would disadvantage you.

You’re already contributing to the mortgage but he still wants you to pay rent !!

I think he has control issues, and I’d be very wary of him because if this is the case, other issues will come to light. Personally I’d end the relationship and buy my own place. He’s only interested in himself.

Move back out is my advice.
Sorry.

This

He wants to be your landlord not your partner.

Move out fast and don't look back.

This.

And he's a CF. Why the hell would you pay his mortgage without any paperwork? He's trying to take you for a ride, stick to your guns.

I think he already did.

I do pay the mortgage and have been doing since February

Hope she ring fenced her deposit and the years of mortgage she’d already paid before adding him! 🙈

Exactly. Like in my case, DH owned his outright which I live in and there was no DoT. None of us is at any risk of homelessness as although I have mortgages on mine, one of it can be paid off outright by selling any of them. It is why we were and are comfortable.

I was anyway clear, I wouldn't touch anyone without their house unless we would straight away buy a house together or they buy their first. Exactly so I didn't live with a homeless person no matter the many other investments (seem popular) they had as they talked the property market down as a hobby. And owning a home requires sacrifice and hard work, so was uninterested in someone else just coming to reap teh benefits.

Personally I would NEVER join finances with anyone I wasn't married to. And possibly not even then, although I could never see myself marrying anyone where that would be a concern of mine. If it was, I wouldn't be marrying them in the first place. And frankly, unless we had/were planning on DC, I wouldn't get married at all. My financial independence is too important to me to risk.

But I don't think there's anything wrong with a partner charging the other partner a monthly amount to go towards the upkeep/maintenance costs of a property and calling it 'rent' plus splitting the bills. As far as charging an additional amount as a share of the actual mortgage, no I wouldn't agree to that. I'd want to put that money into a fund for my own future since I would have no 'housing security' living in a property that I have no ownership interest in.

I'm quoting myself and I'm also outa' here. I can't tell if the basics are really that complex or quite a few posters are being deliberately obtuse.

I admire teachers because it would be a total nightmare job for me.

DONT DO IT OP! It will be a very expensive and painful mistake.

This is crazy! You've put a man on your deeds?

I never said the OP shouldn’t have her own investments & assets.

She did until Feb

The OP can have an asset of her own though.

But that is very different because he has an asset of his own! He's also not at risk of homelessness.

@QueenCamilla what legal & financial complications have I missed?

@JoyousPinkPeer

Currently, what is HIS is HIS and what is HERS is HERS.

The proposal is to make what is currently hers, also fully his.

The starting point is very different to where he wants it to end. Hence need for legalities.

My Aunt owns her house outright & her partner pays “rent” not market & 50% bills. He doesn’t feel hard done by, he rents his house out & gets to live cheaply as he says in an amazing house in a great location (Wimbledon village).

although i do think seperate finances is the best thing unless kids/ join house/marriage etc is involved

sorry but i wouldn't be contributing to someone elses mortgage. Either i split the bills and live rent free on the basis that i have no rights to the property OR i own my own property.

I need to be independent as I'm not losing everything when / if the relationship ends no way so if i was you i would go and buy your own property

Omg this gives me palpitations! Do not give him your money for a property that isn’t in your name.

ideally he needs to sell and you buy together or you get a joint mortgage on this house showing your different shares in it.

see a mortgage broker or solicitor together (if you stay)

Giving ill-informed financial advice to own children is not exactly wise, particularly when the pitfalls are plentifully well discussed on this thread.

These are not decisions based on moral stance, there are legal and financial implications and consequences.

But fine, each to their own.