Husband said I was too mentally unstable to give birth without an epidural

He needs to give birth himself or shut his cakehole.

Why are you with him? Seriously.

What a horrible man. You didn't fail by having a C section your OH is the failure.

Traumatic births take a long time to heal from emotionally. Yours sounds very traumatic, being watched by someone who should be supporting you. Horrible.

Out of curiosity when did he say this? I'm. Not sure whether it's worst to say it before, During or after!

I feel so sorry for you OP. I had the drip when I was being induced 4 months ago and those contractions are honestly the devil’s work! I was so extremely lucky that I had both my husband and my mum with me and I genuinely don’t think either of them sat down for a single second throughout my entire labour, they were constantly holding my hand, holding a fan/cold compress to my head, rubbing my back, holding the gas and air to my mouth etc. I don’t know what I would have done without them and I’m really sorry you didn’t have that support. I don’t think I would be able to get over that ever, nevermind after 3 months, I’d be gutted.

I have 2 children and I felt that recovery from a c section was much harder than recovery from normal birth. I had all sorts of complications from the surgery, including repeat infections. It’s so hard to look after a new born, breastfeed and heal from a major abdominal surgery all at the same time. You’re a hero and he’s a zero.

He sounds extremely horrible. Sorry.

The one thing I want to challenge and correct - very gently - about your post is your use of the world ‘fail’.

Nothing you did even remotely represented a failure. You carried, nurtured, and safely brought into the world a beautiful baby. Your prick of a husband literally sat there. I also think your mental health might take a dramatic upswing without him, but that’s an outside observation and not something you have to push yourself to think about with a newborn.

I hope you’re able to get some support remotelt even if your loved ones aren’t physically near. Please write here whenever you want or need to. Take care of yourself and enjoy your little one ❤️

Did the hospital do the c-section because he said this? This would be a huge issue for me, tbh I would be asking the hospital for an investigation as to why they listened to him, rather than you - the patient.

I also had a c-section to save mine and the baby lives (at a point when 'too posh to push' was at the hight of the news) and definitely don't think you have failed due to having a c-section - I think they failed you in not explaining fully why you had a c-section (unless as I say above it is because your husband stated your mental health would not cope in which case that is a whole other can of worms).

Good luck

He sounds like a useless gob💩 tbh. I’d like to see him go through Labour and pregnancy, completely unsupported to the point of actually making the whole experience worse. The real question here isn’t if you’re being u reasonable, it’s is he?! And the answer is yes! I would be seriously considering chucking him out OP because you clearly can’t rely on him and he’s just rubbing your self confidence down to nothing. You don’t need that in you life and neither does your child. What kind of role model is he? Plus, what happens if God forbid you ever get sick or need support in some other way? Will he be there for you or will it just be an inconvenience for him?

Leave him as soon as you can. The situation you describe is horrendously abusive.

I would leave my DH if he said I am mentally unstable. I cannot see this working out with him now or down the line. Why don't you ask him why he married you/is with you as he thinks so negatively about you. You need to have a frank conversation with him about everything and then decide what you do.

If you did induction without an epidural then honestly you are hard as nails.

Wild guess but your mental health would probably be tip top if he wasn’t in your life 👍🏻

I would take a wild guess that your mh would be better if he wasn't around.... Having a c section isn't failing. You grew and gave birth to a beautiful baby. Something that twat can't ever do!!