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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband didn't tell me

383 replies

northchesterforest · 07/08/2024 10:22

I'm not sure what to do.

My husband just got back from a stag do and has had insomnia for 2 nights and is feeling terrible.

He told me this morning that he had a fit on the stag do and was unconscious. He has never had one before but didn't want to tell me. I'm upset that he didn't tell me and that he has been feeling awful for 2 days and this could all be linked.

I'm also upset because I asked if he has taken any drugs and he told me he hadn't.
We have a no drugs agreement in our relationship and I asked him not to before he went away as they are quite a druggy crowd.

He just told me he had taken coke. I'm upset that he lied to me.

I'm a mix of emotions. I'm upset and worried that he is sick after his fit.
I'm upset that he kept this from me and the drug taking.
I'm also upset that we are trying for a baby and I've been jumping through hoops with infertility medication and lifestyle changes and he has just gone and abused his body like that. I feel like a mug.

OP posts:
Original poster
northchesterforest · 07/08/2024 10:34

Also is it normal to have a fit when you take coke? I'm upset that he was unconscious. Also that no one found medical help.

OP posts:
Edingril · 07/08/2024 10:33

northchesterforest · 07/08/2024 10:32

Just for clarity we have been trying for a baby for a while and have fertility issues so that's why I'm particularly upset when the abusing his body part.

We or you have been trying?

Original poster
northchesterforest · 07/08/2024 10:33

Also, this isn't the first time we have issues like that. Over the years we have had many many arguments over his drinking habits in particular. So I feel like this isn't a first time thing, I'm starting to feel a bit worn out. We've been together 15 years and married for 1 year.

OP posts:
Original poster
northchesterforest · 07/08/2024 10:32

Just for clarity we have been trying for a baby for a while and have fertility issues so that's why I'm particularly upset when the abusing his body part.

OP posts:
WitchyBits · 07/08/2024 10:29

If I was you, I'd sit him down and say " well I've just had an interesting phone conversation about the stag do. You need to tell me absolutely everything and this is your only chance " and then sit back in silence and wait for him to spill his guts.

I have questions that is want to find the answers to though. Why didn't his "friends" call him an ambulance? Where there strippers/sex workers there? Why did he choose to do drugs? Why did he choose to go KNOWING there would be drugs and that he would partake?

Honestly you have problems enough without the Health stuff associated with a drug induced fit. Why you would bring a baby into this is beyond me. In your shoes I'd be bailing as this is what your future is going to be like.

Edingril · 07/08/2024 10:27

I would not be without someone who takes drugs other than moderate drinking but also they are also a grown individual who are allowed to do what they like

So I get you on one way but also you are coming across as dramatic and the world does not stop when TTC

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 07/08/2024 10:25

Give him a second chance. At least he's confessed. Everyone deserves a second chance, but I believe in "three strikes and you're out". Hopefully he'll learn from this that coke doesn't agree with him.

WitchyBits · 07/08/2024 10:24

Op there is very likely more to this. He's drip feeding you information.