Husband didn't tell me

Not for the baby

Well, tell him the truth as well. That men are twice as likely to have heart attacks than women, and 1 in 5 heart attacks occur in men under 40. And cocaine is a powerful stimulant, that can raise the heart rate to the point of failure. He does that dumb shit again and you won't shed tears or give a flying fuck about his funeral, just drop his body at his mum's house and drive off.

Christ! What a loser.

Why do you want a baby with this man?

Is there any chance he fell and banged his head. Make sure they check him for that. It happened to someone I know, fell on holiday, after drinking, flew home, had a seizure, caused by the fall, and internal bleeding.

It would be better to have a baby with a sperm donor as a single mother rather than be with someone who takes drugs. You can’t trust him and he doesn’t respect you enough to not use cocaine.

I think OP you are being naive to think he hasn't taken drugs before.
He wouldn't be hanging around with a crowd who do drugs if he didn't take them himself.
As I understand it a lot of druggies use cocaine when they go drinking because it enables them to go on drinking for longer.
As I understand it there is also a connection between using cocaine and sex drive so I would also be worried about what he got up to on the stag do on that count.

Surely the deal breaker for a deciding to have a relationship with someone is to have to have a "no drugs agreement". Would never even enter my consciousness that this is something to bring up with a potential partner.

But drinking is in the equation and won’t be going anywhere. And now drugs is in the mix. Oh, and lying to you….You Can’t Trust Him. Please don’t bring a child into this.

If he regularly hangs out with a druggy crowd and drinks problematically I would bet that he takes coke really regularly. Up to you to decide just how problematic it is - is it weekly/ monthly/ couple of times a year. If it’s the former then I’d say it’s time to move on.

As you are in A&E now, hopefully he will tell the Doctor the truth

I can’t imagine he had a fit and didn’t seek medical attention to be honest, or that nobody he was with would have sought it on his behalf.

One of my best friends had a fit when we were on a night out a few years ago just randomly and it was absolutely terrifying, there’s not a single chance any of us would have let her just toddle off home after that without seeking medical attention, especially if we were in a foreign country and had to get on a plane to get home.

At a minimum you need to stop trying for a baby. You say yourself you’ve had recurring problems with his alcohol intake, don’t bring a baby into that mess.

Also as others have said, having a seizure from taking drugs is a serious medical emergency. Assuming you are his next of kin / emergency contact, would you not have known about this? Because surely he would have had to go to hospital???

As @Whingewithme said, he's cheated. He can't sleep because he feels guilty. Yes he probably has been taking drugs too but the story is lining up to cover what he did and pretend he was blacked out so doesn't remember.

sorry to be a doubting Thomas, but did he really have a fit?

Or did he drink, take drugs, pass out and needed an excuse to cover himself for two days of feeling awful.

I know that someone saying I took drugs, passed out and I feel awful would get zero sympathy from most.

But saying they'd had a fit and this was why the were so ill - would have many rushing to get them checked by a doctor since this could be the start of a very very serious health condition which could have an impact on all sorts of things such as heart health, driving, his job etc...

You do need to contact his accomplices at the stag do and find out. If he had a fit then an ambulance would be the best course of action and I think a club would call one. So find out as much as possible about when, what stage in the holidday, where, what treatment etc... as this could verify his story.

What is his relationship with these friends like? Are they very influential? Is he easily led or trying to join in with the group?

From what you say, he has form for lying to protect himself. That's great for him but it doesn't protect you in any way and if he didn't have a fit but told you he did to get less of a telling off, that's putting a giant load of unnecessary worries on you. On top of the fact that you are going through the hassel of medical fertility treatment, whilst he's doing the exact opposite of the doctor's advice.

Do you mean he had a seizure @northchesterforest ? If so, he should get checked out by the GP.

Why on earth would you want a baby with a man you regularly argue with about drinking and don’t trust not to take drugs to the point you have to remind him not to take them with his friends? Bin the man, definitely do not have a baby with him.

Do not have a baby with this man.

I expect he is telling you as little as he can possibly get away with.

Does your husband actually want children?

Do you want to have children with someone you regard as a problem drinker?

Do you think this situation is likely to get better?

I wasted years with the wrong person because we both wanted children. We went separate ways because he wouldn't make reasonable, actionable changes and I wanted to protect my future kids from such a poor example and an inevitable environment of stress and hostility. I have had to make peace with the fact that due to wasting my time, I might not ever have my own biological children. It is hard to grapple with but I'm under no illusion that parenting kids with my ex would have been far more miserable.

This is a dealbreaker. I’d been done with him. He’s a liar and the rest.

So you have a baby with him split up and when he get access these people will be around your child?

Has any of that crossed your mind?

@northchesterforest if someone has a seizure from cocaine, it likely means he overdosed on it. He could have died. This isn't someone trying their first line. Did he go to hospital and has he been seen? It doesn't sound like it and it says a lot about how responsible he is.

Please don't get pregnant. Get your ducks in a row and get out. Someone drinking heavily and using drugs will often have deformed swimmers anyway. It doesn't sound like he's worried about TTC.

Don't throw good time after bad. Get out while you're young enough to start over.

THIS 💯

Given the fact he had a fit, he's probably not going to be lining up to do this again. Be pissed that he tried of course, but as far as him making it a habit, I think you're safe.