Husband didn't tell me

I think you need to be supportive of him at this point. He told you what he did and it sounds like he's regretful. It was really irresponsible and he needs to look at why he took drugs when this isn't usual behaviour for him. Some people are very impressionable and he needs to work that bit out...once he's got over the trauma that he's experienced. Try and be kind to him right now.

He has taken drugs and/or cheated and is now drip feeding this so if it comes out he can say 'oh, I don't remember any of this! I must have been spiked! My friends must have taken advantage by taking me to see a sex worker! I have no recollection!'

In real life, anyone having a serious medical event like a SEIZURE would tell their spouse ASAP and seek medical attention upon their return, their friends would contact you when it happened, he would probably come home early with one of them because health is more important than a stag do.

I would stop TTC immediately. Even if what he's saying is true, that means he's deliberately concealed a seizure from you for a period of time. He promised not to take drugs and took cocaine, a Class A. Not dad material.

All sorts of things can trigger seizures in people. I've had them triggered by fainting. But obviously coke is a drug that affects your brain chemistry, so yeah, it's not unusual for it to affect people badly like that - plus if you take illegal drugs you don't have a clue what it actually contains. It could have been mixed with anything.

Cocaine is also a powerful stimulant so it's not at all surprising that he's got insomnia. One of the reasons cocaine is so rife in certain industries is precisely because it keeps you awake.

In the short term, I doubt you have to worry that your husband has done any lasting damage from one line of coke that affected him badly, and the fact that it has affected him so badly is probably a good deterrent when it comes to doing it again. However, it does sound like his drinking is out of control and clearly, if all his friends are heavy drinkers and recreational drug users, going out with them is going to be an issue. He's not going to fix his own substance issues if he's constantly with people who are encouraging and normalising it.

He probably didn't have a seizure at all! More likely he's feeling awful due to comedown and guilt

You do know your continuing the cycle here

your mum was in a relationship with an alcoholic and now you are

get out now for your own sanity

Oh and you obviously don't trust him if you say you "want to trust him"!

But drinking is in the equation! Open your eyes!!

15 years of the same bullshit arguments over drugs and drinking aren't going to change because you have a baby!! Judging by all the posts on this website, babies just make situations worse!

Man wants one last night of freedom before the baby comes, turns in to 3 day bender, he says he's never allowed to do anything anymore, argue, you're upset. Baby arrives, man wants to wet the baby's head, his friends keep him out, turns in to a 3 day bender, he says he's never allowed to do anything anymore, argue, you're upset and now you have a baby to deal with whose feeding off your emotions!

Bloody hell, mumsnet need to publish a book of the shittiest experiences from here and hand them out to young girls, the title should be "Expect Better!"

He's not a man you can trust Op. He only behaves in a good and loving manner when you can see it, soon as he's with the lads there's drink and drugs. If he really had a seizure on coke he could have choked and died. Is this really the man who will be a responsible father to your DC in the future?

So he had absolutely no medical treatment on the stag do? Despite having a cocaine induced seizure where he was unconscious and hit his head? Wow. Some great friends he's got there 🙄

Anyway the whole thing is just an absolute childish, pathetic mess. More fool you for wanting to have a baby with this man.

Nope. Would be an instant deal breaker for me.
I grew up in an area that was utterly ruined by drugs and the damage they cause.
Drugs are a deal breaker for me.
One strike and out.

I was trying my hardest not to ask this but are you really this guiilable?

He didn't go to Ibiza by any chance? There is something over there called Pink Coke which isn't even cocaine, it's a mix of Ketamine and MDMA. His symptoms sound more like an MDMA comedown. The insomnia from cocaine tends to only be whilst you are on it, then people can generally sleep afterwards. Things that cause continued insomnia are often hallucinagenics like MDMA or acid.
Be wise to see if he can have a drug test so he can find out exactly what he has taken.
But yes with the ongoing alcohol issues I would pause TTC and reassess the relationship. Having an alcoholic / binge drinker Father to your baby is like being a single parent. In fact it's worse. Hope you are OK.

Why are you trying to get pregnant by an irresponsible liar who you don't trust and is a problem drinker or worse??!!

Don't you want better for your eventual child?

What he did on the stage do is the least of your worries.

I haven’t read the whole thread but I’d get him to go to the GP first and foremost over the fit. Maybe the dr will give him a lecture which will shake him up on top of checking stuff out. People make mistakes but only you can know what’s best. On the alcohol, I’ve seen how much damage that can cause ( not my DH thankfully ) and it’s really really hard when its an otherwise wonderful person that you love, it’s an addiction/ an illness after all , but maybe he’s aware of that and has it under control ? Good luck.

😂

I'm really sorry, OP, but I agree with this. You really don't want to be dealing with this when you have a baby, too. If you can't trust him, don't have a baby with him.

Christ love, wake up. The shit that some women put up with 🤦🏼‍♀️ you think this is a good relationship to bring an innocent child into?
Bollocks to his bumped head. He can’t be trusted.

Its an odd phenomenon associated with being ACOA (Adult Child of an alcoholic) that one is easily blinded, bewildered, and confused by patently stupid excuses offered by the love object and addict in one’s life. A childhood of making excuses, ignoring reality, covering up for drunken dad leads to horribly dysfunctional excuses for collapsed husband.

Maybe he did have a seizure?. I am sure OP feels reassured to be at A and E with him. The whole incident wasn’t a total lie! but to the rest of us one sliver of truth doesn’t make up for the fact that OP is involved with an addict/alcoholic just like dear old dad.

OP you don’t trust him snd you can’t trust him. That is so unnecessary. You had stsndards around drinking, drugging, and caring for his own health and he made you feel self conscious about them. That was for his convenience as he did not want to be the man you needed him to be—the opposite of your dad.

You have to stand up for your right to have standards. For your desire to not be living your mother’s life. He has had 15 years to get with the program and he hasn’t. He never will.

He’s telling you a load of bollocks here. He rollled out of bed and hit his head hard enough to cause a seizure and leave a bump three days later? Was he in a bunk bed??

It isn't unknown to have a seizure, whatever the truth is he has well and truly ballsed up.

https://www.healthline.com/health/substance-use/cocaine-seizure

I'll get flamed here, but as someone who has taken coke a few times in her life- often a lot of it on a real sesh in my youth!- a seizure is far from normal. You would have to be very unlucky to have that kind of reaction on your first ever go, or have taken absolutely loads of it. Good luck OP.

Why are you ttc with a man like this ?

Imagine how horrendous things will be when you bring a child into the mix !

Maybe this is the wake-up call he needs. To change his was.

No, that’s not normal. Did he definitely have a witnessed seizure? Or just pass out drunk?

If his friends watched him fitting and just stepped over him to carry on partying, he needs new friends.