Husband didn't tell me

That was obvious to me just from your post. Good, you know for certain now. Find that anger and make a fantastic life for yourself, filled with everything you want and deserve. You know what you need to do.

@northchesterforest I'm sure no one needs to tell you this, but taking coke and MDMA for years can't be good for sperm quality at all. Not only has he been lying to you but he can see you making lifestyle changes and prioritizing having a child and all the while he is sabotaging your chances of having a healthy baby. You have completely different priorities and bringing a child into this relationship would be a bad idea.

He seems like the kind of guy who will stay out all day and night with his druggy friends because he “needs a break” from your baby, in the future.

This is the least of your worries but if he's had a seizure there's a minimum 6 month driving ban because of the risk of having another one behind the wheel.

Sorry this is happening to you OP.

Fresh start OP x

Just saw your update.

I hope you leave him.

Well done on your promotion.

I'm so sorry, please continue to protect yourself and your happiness. x

What you have described is not a good relationship.

Imagine for a minute that you have a child with this man.

Then you get divorced.

Your child will have to see this man and stop overnight and possibly half the school holidays until he or she is 18.

You will not know what is going on during those times, if your ex is drunk or taking drugs or who else might be in the house with your child.

Now you know, if there's more who knows?

What an awful time for you, I hope you've someone to talk to IRL. 💐

Also, congratulations on your promotion!! It should be a time for celebrating, not being in A&E with a lying, douchebag of a husband.

Call your sister, your best friend, whoever... and celebrate 🥳 🎉

I’m sorry OP. You’ve been fooling yourself for years.

Cut your losses now and don’t bring a child into this mess. And raise your standards.

I hope this is what you need to leave OP. Sorry you’re going through this.

Well until the next time

I'm sorry op. I hope this gives you the closure you need to move on with your life. I'm sorry so many people on here were so harsh on you too.

So sorry .....but now you know who he really is!
He will not change.

Chanel the anger and hurt into moving forward.

Just read your last update OP so the below message is no longer relevant but in case your resolve wavers I’ll post it anyway. I’ll now say, well done, ditch him, enjoy your freedom, enjoy your promotion, have a great life !

*
Just a couple of observations OP.

He’s now told you another story about falling out of bed drunk. What did he tell them at A&E ? Just about the drink or did he include the drugs ? Did he tell them about falling out of bed, being sick ? How many accounts of the incident(s) are there ?

Please reread your posts and imagine your best friend told you these things; 15 years of arguments about drink, lying, drug taking, going away with ‘friends’ who didn’t get medical help for him whether he’d had a fit, seizure and been sick whether from the effects of drugs or hitting his head falling out of bed drunk. Oh, and your best friend tells you she’s TTC with this man.What would you say to your best friend ?

Good and loving people do not do these things, and people with drink issues rarely change, especially if they stay ‘mates’ with the people who feed their problem. He obviously doesn’t even love himself enough to look after himself let alone you and a baby. Who drives so soon after such heavy drink and drug taking ? It’s up to you if you decide to stay with him but please don’t be responsible for bringing a baby into the mix.

*

Congratulations on your promotion.

I'm sorry your DH is taking the celebration away from you.

My friend, my lovely friend, her DP has started to have lifestyle induced seizures from his party lifestyle.

He's had his license taken off him which affects his work.

He's still drinking and taking coke and who knows what else. Ket as well but I'm sure she doesn't tell me the half of it!

She is ill from the stress of it all

I hope this is a wake up call for him

Oh he did a bit of coke on a stag do. I couldn't be angry at this, at all - but I wouldn't have made a no drugs ever agreement with a grown adult anyway. If I were you? I'd let this go and understand he didn't tell you because you'd clearly be fuming and have forbade him, given the agreement you made.

If his friends are quite a druggy crowd he has probably taken other things before, it's not often a non taker is friends with an entire group of drug takers, however it does happen.

I say loosen up a bit, but leaving the door open for there to be a serious reason why you are so anti drugs at any point ever - a one off line at a stag is such a non issue I wouldn't give it a second thought.

So sorry you're going through this. Get your real life support in place and ducks in a row

I’m sorry, it’s shit but it’s for the best. You deserve so much better.

At least now you know. Hold firm, get out and be glad there's no child in the mix tying you to this liar.

A baby isn’t going to change him for the better. A baby won’t repair your relationship.
If you want to go ahead and get pregnant with him be prepared to be a single parent.
Sorry, but as a pp said the stag do come is the tip of the iceberg and a seizure should have been medically investigated.

This would tie in with alcohol dependency as the seizures usually occur during withdrawal

Eugh why is everyone doing cocaine these days. Feel like it’s become fashionable. Tell him it’s idiotic. I have seen young men presenting with acute MI (heart attack) after taking cocaine as it causes vasospam. It’s just not worth doing.