To not want partner's friends/family in my home

Reasonable not to host social gatherings and want to meet elsewhere. I am of the same view because of space.

Agree with others about the wider relationship issues.

You are not being unreasonable. Its your home, not his and he has his own home. You shouldn't have to give a reason.

Its not clear from your post whether he is
1) just thinking about it and asking you if he can invite them,
or
2) if he's telling you that he's already invited them and just letting you know the date and assuming you will agree to it.

I think that the first Is understandable... It's part of communication between a couple. he won't know how you feel about it unless he asks, but then one would hope he'd listen to your answer and accept it without arguing.

The second is completely unacceptable.

As a pp said... has he said who is expected to buy the food, cook the food and clear up afterwards? Is he proposing a convenient date.. It would be interesting to see what his expectations are.

Another thing that rings a few alarm bells is that he frequently meets up with them, but you have never, in five years been invited. Why?
Is it something to do with him wanting them to give opinions on your place and whether he should give up his place and move in? It feels a bit rum to invite a group of people who are strangers to you. (sorry just read that it is his brother and wife - but he could invite you to meet them at theirs or in a neutral place first)

If he really wants them to meet you, why can't he organise a less formal meet up in a nearby pub or restaurant? That would be much easier all round. He must know that you like your privacy. Why try to force this when it's by far the easiest option and perhaps if you had met them ( or rather socialised with them a few times) and it went well you would be more inclined to consider inviting them.

Re the flat. I don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable with his solution to the flat situation, illegally renting his council flat and moving in with you. I'd research the penalties and whether you could also be legally liable to strengthen your refusal. It's not a great suggestion, character-wise.

How is it even happening that he's inviting people to a house he doesn't even live in. Is he telling you he's coming to yours to hang out with his friends or is he coming to yours to see you then his mates turn up? It's not his house, it's so wierd to be inviting guests to someone else's house

YANBU. He entertains his family and friends at his own flat.

The whole relationship sounds like a bit of a battle though. Do you want a lifetime of this?

Not really what I said, was it. There is nothing strange in not wanting people in your house. It is strange not to realise that for a lot of people it is not a weird thing to do.
It is also strange for many posters insisting the OP's partner is an arsehole just because he wants to invite his brother and wife for dinner. There is nothing to indicate that anyone entered the property without OP's permission. She said her partner "keeps trying to invite" which could mean absolutely anything from "you are a horrible person for not wanting to host my brother" to "can you please tell me why it makes you feel uncomfortable, I want to understand your point of view" to even "hey, shall we have my brother for dinner this weekend"

Some red flags here IMO. This is not about being social or not. This is him taking you and your property for granted.
It's your home, he doesn't get to dictate what happens there, who spends time there or anything else. I'd be pissed off if my DH invited strangers round without consulting me, let alone a BF who doesn't live with me.

I think you need to forgot about the visits for now and look at the relationship. It does not seem like you two are operating like a happy couple. I'd bin him off.

He wanted to commit fraud, he invites people to your house but you're not invited to theirs. Honestly, OP I'd having trouble working with bloke, nevermind calling him my partner. Understandably, you're already resentful of this pisstaker, so It doesn't seem like a match made in heaven. He won't change, so look for someone else more likeminded and enjoy a partnership.

Whenever my partner visits these friends he will visit them alone (I'm not invited) so I don't think it's fair for them to be expected to be invited into my home.

Don't be with someone whose family treat you like this and he goes along with it.

OP you need to take a step back and really look at your partner's attitude to you. He doesn't see you as an equal.
He visits HIS friends, without you, and wants to invite them back to YOUR house. In his head , What's yours is his, and what's his is his.
Unless you are really careful, you'll end up under his thumb.
His life carries on as if he was single, and you'll end up doing the heavy lifting.

YANBU.
Your home, your rules.
I wouldn't have this for one minute, but everyone is different.

With this further information, no, he shouldn’t be inviting them to your home. You’ve been together 5 years and the only way he’s willing to live together is if he commits quite serious fraud.
He doesn’t sound like a keeper if I’m honest-but that’s a whole different issue. You seem to be content keeping things the way they are, so stand your ground. Your home is your home, it’s your space and your haven

5 years of this bollocks?

We have been together for 5 years which has been very up and down.

Clearly. Just end it already.

@Catza

I do find it strange that you think having people for dinner is somehow weird

Lots of people don't like to invite people over, it's not uncommon. I might find it strange that you use fairy liquid (for example), but what would it matter? You don't live according to my template, and nobody but you needs to live by yours.

OP, there's nothing strange about not wanting to have people over. Your partner doesn't respect your wishes, so it's not much of a partnership, is it?

I think it's normal to invite your family and friends to your partners house since I assume yours is bigger. Of course, it has to be with your agreement before hand.

Do you really see a future with him? Usually when you're in love you want his family to like you and you try to make it happen.

If in the future if you do buy a house together, he will have guests, parties, etc. I think you should revaluate your relationship if you're against it.

How's that going to work when you get a house together?

He is showing disrespect towards you by overriding your wishes. Once you move in together this will not improve. Never move in with him. Or move him in. This is your sanctuary.

I imagine he wants to show off your house to his family and friends so wants to entertain here rather than in house flat? But he has no right inviting anyone over to yours. get rid of him

Well, it is up to you if you want to have people in your house or not but I do find it strange that you think having people for dinner is somehow weird.
My mum and her partner live separately. Our entire family routinely visit partner who has a house in the countryside for a weekend BBQ. It never even occurred to me to think this is somehow inappropriate even though he'd only been at my place once. Yes, it is usually my mum who offers we meet there but I was never aware of him feeling resentful about it. He happily fires up the BBQ, we bring food and drinks and spend time together as a family. Shock horror, we even spend a night there.
I am not sure if there is anything else going on in the background but if the issue is just having a couple for dinner, it is indeed a bit strange to be so upset about it.

Have you given him a key?

-he is now trying to invite his friends and family over which I really have an issue with and it starting to grate on me.

It’s not clear from this what you have said to him. Have you told him to stop inviting people round to your house and that it’s yours and not his?

Dump him fast. He's an arsehole and a control freak. DON'T let him or his friends/family in your house. Don't give him the keys.

Yes exactly this.

You are of course right that it's your home not his, but for a couple planning on a long future together you're not acting like partners. Of course it makes sense to entertain in the bigger property.

If you won't be comfortable with him having guests once you move in together then you need to rethink things.

I can see both sides to this-but honestly it entirely depends on the state of your relationship, where it’s going and how long you’ve been together.
If you’re planning a future together, then it feels entirely reasonable that he’d want get together at your place. He wants to include you, he wants to host people as a couple, your place is bigger and he wants you to get to know his nearest and dearest.
On the other hand, if you haven’t been together all that long, or if you’re not yet at the planning your future together stage and are still in the “getting to know each other” stage, then it’s far too much for him to be doing this.
I also like my privacy and own space, years ago before DH and I were married, we lived in separate houses-I never hosted his family at mine (but I lived in a different town to him and his friends and family) but I wouldn’t have been averse to it if I’d lived nearer because we both knew where the relationship was headed.

But in all honesty, there is no right or wrong to this. The only answer to whether you feel it’s unreasonable is how YOU feel. If you don’t want them at yours, then they shouldn’t be at yours. You are not unreasonable to want your home to be used as you choose. It’s your home, nobody else’s

So will you dictate this whe you both live together? Can you see this relationship working long term?