To no longer respond to hints

My default response to ‘where is my….?’ was always ‘Pass’.
not my problem!

Nor me. I literally carry on as if nothing has been said.

I have banned where have you put, after pointing out that I NEVER say it to him. Have you seen my...

I'm bloody contrary, honestly. I hate this hint / delegate thing. And don't get me started on nagging.

The trouble is, I could be literally walking into a room to, say, sort the laundry. If DP strolls in and says 'WE need to sort the laundry, it's a mess' you can bet your arse I'm turning right around and that laundry will not be sorted. I know he doesn't mean both of us, he means me, he could just bloody do it (or have already done it!) if he wants it done, but no, there has to be some loaded pronouncement about the importance of doing xyz. But now it'll grow legs and put itself away before I get involved in it.

It's very much a character flaw, but I cannot 'reward' nagging etc by doing the thing. Even if I want to do the thing!

How are your husbands not all under the patio?

Seriously don’t joke, supply a witty retort, any of that, just bloody well tell them to stop being chauvinist pigs or they’ll get a divorce. “Ahhhh, men, eh!” drives me NUTS

My DF’s response to I’m hungry, I’m thirsty etc was, hello I’m Rosebud’s DF nice to meet you

Or that they can’t be accused of adding to their partners load

I think it depends on the motivation and whether he’s a lazy thing. If not I’d be having a conversation about it and asking him why. Some people just use it as a way to ask for help without asking, perhaps if brought up to do so. If lazy then as others have said just say oh ok, that’s nice etc.

You all have the patience of saints for putting up with this man-child behaviour for so long. It’s grim.

I remember hearing over the garden wall, the husband calling his wife who had gone out to lunch with friends, telling her that the washing machine had finished and she had forgotten and his clothes needed putting on the line to dry.

How she didn't tell him to just put them on the fucking line I don't know.

They sat there til she got home though.

This will be childhood behaviour of him telling his mum he’s thirsty and her hooping up and running to get him what he needs. He didn’t need to ask - very basic language ‘I’m thirsty’ solve this for me. Was he spoilt? That or he sounds like a massively entitled prick with a superiority complex - does he think he’s the king or something in your house? Can see why you’re pissed off

@LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway Oh the huffing and the puffing! And also the accusations - 'who's moved X?' It wasn't me and it wasn't the kids - must've been him! Aaargh! It's the outrage that accompanies the accusations that irritates me.

Yeah this 🙄

If anyone “left” a load of washing in the machine for me they’d be likely to find it in the wheelie bin.

Short replies - “yep”, “yep”, “yep”.

Maybe ask him if he wants you to make yourself a cup of tea, go clothes shopping, get dressed, what an annoying idiot

The easiest thing for YOU is if he did it himself

Not a ‘hi ting thing’ but…
Me: do you want tea/coffee, fried/scrambled eggs, toast/bread?
Him: whatever is easiest
Me: the EASIEST thing is if you fucking TELL me!!!

Ask why. What does he expect to happen?

Why can’t he follow through with adding detergent and switching the fucker on? Does he really need you to talk him through it? Whatever you do don’t give a practical demonstration or that will be a ‘win’ for him. Explain very simply and clearly if he’s incapable of following instructions easily (🙄) but talk HIM through the process so he has done it himself. If necessary write instructions and tape to the machine so he has no future excuses of ‘forgetting’. That really is pathetic.

I can’t bear men who are quite capable of mastering the mechanics of learning to drive or anything that they fundamentally want to do but who feign a profound inability to wash their (or the households) clothes/ do dishwasher/ iron their shirts/ clean the oven …..

My DH is great at sharing housework, we have no set tasks for each person we just both get in and do what needs doing whoever is home first.

But occasionally he goes through this thing where he'll say "do you want me to do the dishes?"
"Do you want me to vacuum?"
"Do you want me to take out the rubbish?"

And then I feel like a cow if I say yes actually.
It's obvious he doesn't feel like doing the tasks (no one does haha) but puts the decision back on me. I HATE it and call him out on it every time.

No, he doesn’t, he’s a grown up who either does it himself or asks if I can do it, occasionally asks if I know where something is but never acts like I should know or it’s my responsibility to keep track of his shit.
Once and only once has he suggested he was helping me, I glared, he very quickly retracted it and said something along the lines of it being a bad choice of words and he didn’t mean to suggest it was my responsibility and was aware that he was also an adult living in the house and these things were equally his responsibility.
I said nothing in response, just nodded, it has never happened again.

DH: Behold the infinitely configurable distribution board I have designed and built from scratch with my own hands, that will dispense any kind of keg beer requiring any type of gas propulsion, work with any cooling system and take account of any combination of other variables.

Also DH: No, I can't possibly hang the washing out because I don't know how to do it.