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Original poster

To think people have the wrong idea about the reason parents use private schools?

261 replies

ewloan · 06/08/2024 19:57

I have found this from threads and in real life, whenever private school comes up there’s this attitude that it’s about ‘buying results’ or ‘if your child is academic they will do well anywhere.’

Do people not realise that most people who send their kids to private school actually don’t need to be thinking about exam results as the main factor? These are people who often own businesses and have huge family wealth so their child’s exam results are not the be all and end all. The main reason people use private schools is for the entirely different experience for the child, for them to enjoy school and learning in small classes with lots of amenities and focus on their development. Why do people seem to think the main reason is to ‘buy an exam result’?

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 06/08/2024 20:52

ewloan · 06/08/2024 20:50

@VickyEadieofThigh not in my opinion as, like I said in my OP, exam results are usually not the reason for sending a child to private school.

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What, exactly, do you think my two cousins got out of it, then?

MereDintofPandiculation · 06/08/2024 20:51

I suspect people choose private schools for the same sorts of reasons people choose a particular state school. The problem is, most of us don’t have that choice.

Alfonsoo · 06/08/2024 20:50

Who cares

Original poster
ewloan · 06/08/2024 20:50

VickyEadieofThigh · 06/08/2024 20:48

My cousins' parents wasted their money - no?

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@VickyEadieofThigh not in my opinion as, like I said in my OP, exam results are usually not the reason for sending a child to private school.

OP posts:
AdultChildQuestion · 06/08/2024 20:50

They don't think it's to buy an exam result (although that is a pleasant side-effect). They think it's because the parents want their children mixing with the 'right' types.

Marchitectmummy · 06/08/2024 20:49

Malahide · 06/08/2024 20:32

You’d be very, very wrong to think that school contacts and who they associate with won’t have any bearing on adult life.

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Why would you be so arrogant to think you know more than I do? Its a mystery. Tell me where I've benefited from school contacts or if you would prefer predict the uses for my children. I bothered to explain where our contacts come from, but alas you know more.

Original poster
ewloan · 06/08/2024 20:49

DontBiteTheCat · 06/08/2024 20:47

Well, I opened it thinking that finally, after countless threads, someone might have something interesting to say about private schools and why they choose to send their child there.

I was wrong again on this occasion, but I have hope for tomorrow.

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@DontBiteTheCat but you needn’t have posted if you didn’t care? I am genuinely interested in why you’d bother? Seems like a total waste of time! But you do you.

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 06/08/2024 20:48

ewloan · 06/08/2024 20:47

@VickyEadieofThigh you surely can see that there’s a higher chance of a more thorough understanding of the subject matter in a class when there’s less kids in it? And likely no disruptive kids? It doesn’t meant the kids will perform better but the environment lends itself to a more thorough education, no?

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My cousins' parents wasted their money - no?

DontBiteTheCat · 06/08/2024 20:47

ewloan · 06/08/2024 20:45

@DontBiteTheCat not sure if you’re aware, but you’re not obliged to waste your time posting on threads you don’t care about x

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Well, I opened it thinking that finally, after countless threads, someone might have something interesting to say about private schools and why they choose to send their child there.

I was wrong again on this occasion, but I have hope for tomorrow.

malificent7 · 06/08/2024 20:47

I hated my private school experience. A great shame and a great waste. On paper looked fabulous but I just didn't fit in. The kids were mean.

Original poster
ewloan · 06/08/2024 20:47

VickyEadieofThigh · 06/08/2024 20:44

"educated properly".

I went to state schools a long time ago (1963-76) but I still find the notion that those of us whose parents were too poor to send us to private schools were not "properly educated" absolutely outrageous.

I got much better exam results and a better degree (plus 3 others) than my two cousins who went to private schools, by the way.

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@VickyEadieofThigh you surely can see that there’s a higher chance of a more thorough understanding of the subject matter in a class when there’s less kids in it? And likely no disruptive kids? It doesn’t meant the kids will perform better but the environment lends itself to a more thorough education, no?

OP posts:
Original poster
ewloan · 06/08/2024 20:45

DontBiteTheCat · 06/08/2024 20:44

I really, and I cannot stress this enough, do not care.

@DontBiteTheCat not sure if you’re aware, but you’re not obliged to waste your time posting on threads you don’t care about x

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 06/08/2024 20:44

ewloan · 06/08/2024 20:03

@Popp1ngCandy the exam results are often a direct link with the smaller classes, so kids are actually being educated properly. It’s not, ime, the reason for choosing the school

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"educated properly".

I went to state schools a long time ago (1963-76) but I still find the notion that those of us whose parents were too poor to send us to private schools were not "properly educated" absolutely outrageous.

I got much better exam results and a better degree (plus 3 others) than my two cousins who went to private schools, by the way.

DontBiteTheCat · 06/08/2024 20:44

I really, and I cannot stress this enough, do not care.

Original poster
ewloan · 06/08/2024 20:43

Didimum · 06/08/2024 20:42

This is such an ignorant response. Of course it’s not a luxury to want the best for your child (that doesn’t even make sense), but it is a luxury to be able to pay to provide it. Are you insinuating that parents who cannot afford fees do not ‘luxuriate’ in wanting the best for their children?

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@Didimum i am saying that paying to ensure your kids are safe, in smaller classes and can learn as effectively as possible isn’t (or shouldn’t be) considered a luxury. The fact that there’s even a suggestion this is a luxury is exactly what is wrong with the state sector and why it’s on its arse.

OP posts:
Original poster
ewloan · 06/08/2024 20:42

stargirl1701 · 06/08/2024 20:32

No one thinks that. Teaching in the state sector tends to be better.

Parents are buying connections for their children.

@stargirl1701 it’s possible the teaching could be better in a state school. But if you’re one of 35 in the room with disruptive kids then you’re not actually going to be benefiting from that teaching.

OP posts:
Didimum · 06/08/2024 20:42

ewloan · 06/08/2024 20:39

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves i’m not sure it’s a luxury to want to ensure your kids are safe and in classrooms small enough to learn and have confidence. I would consider that to be the basics of what we should expect for our kids.

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This is such an ignorant response. Of course it’s not a luxury to want the best for your child (that doesn’t even make sense), but it is a luxury to be able to pay to provide it. Are you insinuating that parents who cannot afford fees do not ‘luxuriate’ in wanting the best for their children?

Piggiesinblankets · 06/08/2024 20:40

mitogoshi · 06/08/2024 20:01

Everyone I know who has children in private school studied the exam results carefully and openly admit they are also ensuring their children don't mix with the "wrong" types.

Being honest. This is a motivation of mine. I don't want mjbevto be in a class with children messing about, playing up etc Those that ate loyd, brash and poorly parented. I want my children around well mannered, well behaved, decent children. It is markedly different seeing the politeness, confidence and behaviour of private school children.

Didimum · 06/08/2024 20:39

Saschka · 06/08/2024 20:33

Oh people definitely say it if they think you are “one of them”. I’ve heard some appalling comments mocking “council estate kids” and children on free school meals, as well as anti-Black racism (from Asian parents).

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This exactly. See my comment above regarding what my brother in law said to us regarding our state school. I believe he said this because he knows we can afford private fees but choose not to.

Original poster
ewloan · 06/08/2024 20:39

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 06/08/2024 20:31

I don't disagree with you. Most kids who do well at private schools will do well anywhere. I think their parents are essentially paying for the "premium" experience.

That's why I agree with the VAT policy. Private education is a luxury rather than a necessity.

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves i’m not sure it’s a luxury to want to ensure your kids are safe and in classrooms small enough to learn and have confidence. I would consider that to be the basics of what we should expect for our kids.

OP posts:
BenchyMcBenchFace · 06/08/2024 20:39

Blackbirdinfinity · 06/08/2024 20:36

You’ll be glad to hear this bears no resemblance to the private school we use. I can’t think I’m in the minority!

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I hope you’re right…but guess what: none of the parents knew or were told about any of this. Or they wouldn’t send their children there. I bet there is an awful lot that goes on at your child’s school that you would be shocked to learn about.

i never told my parents, either.

WomensRightsRenegade · 06/08/2024 20:38

Harrumphhhh · 06/08/2024 20:14

Honestly, I just assume you think your kids are more important than mine and deserve something better than mine.

Wouldn’t that also be true of people who specifically aim for the most outstanding state schools?

Blackbirdinfinity · 06/08/2024 20:37

Didimum · 06/08/2024 20:35

I think there is truth in this. When discussing an issue with our state school recently, my brother in law (who sends his children to private said) said ‘when you use private school you pay not to be around these sorts of people’. It was so highly insulting that I will never think of him the same way again.

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It’s true, deprived area have many more traumatised kids and traumatised kids in mainstream schooling cause total havoc. Who can learn in that environment?

WomensRightsRenegade · 06/08/2024 20:37

PruneInTheNest · 06/08/2024 20:01

Cry me a bloody river- do we need yet another bloody thread about private schools? It’s so boring

Why open the thread then? Height of stupidity

Blackbirdinfinity · 06/08/2024 20:36

BenchyMcBenchFace · 06/08/2024 20:34

Absolutely this! I went to a private school, despite th fact my parents couldn’t afford it, and it was full of eating disorders, self-harm, suicidal teachers, sexual impropriety, theft, utterly RIFE with class A drugs, unhappy hothoused children and children with lots of emotional and psychological issues because their parents essentially neglected them - but fixed it by sending them to private school.

I hated it, and almost everyone in it.

and the education and teaching quality was genuinely piss poor.

Edited
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You’ll be glad to hear this bears no resemblance to the private school we use. I can’t think I’m in the minority!