To think people have the wrong idea about the reason parents use private schools?

Broader + more in depth curriculum, they don't follow national curriculum. Smaller class sizes with calm learning environment where it is cool to do well. Respectful and positive relationships between teachers and pupils.
All the extra curricular stuff not available at our local state school plus a 5pm finish so DD gets home 5.45 and isn't on her own for hours until we get home at 6/6.30
Sport 4 times per week

We paid for one of those famous boys boarding schools with top exam results and an “old boys network” but that is not why we paid. I have no doubt my DS would have got the same exam results in our leafy outstanding local comp and I personally have no interest in old boys networks. We paid because of the breadth and depth of the curriculum, the school provided a highly intellectual education separate exam results (although some of the best in the UK) although I suspect it doesn’t now was what underpinned everything they did.

@BibbleandSqwauk "I've seen people say they want their kids at a school where it's ok to be clever and trying hard, rather than being kicked about and mocked because of it. I've seen people say they want their kids in schools where people have ambition and drive to succeed"

Have you heard of the expression "dog whistle"?

Please do link to a thread where that has been said. I've seen plenty say their kids have been subject to violent bullying. I've seen people say they want their kids at a school where it's ok to be clever and trying hard, rather than being kicked about and mocked because of it. I've seen people say they want their kids in schools where people have ambition and drive to succeed. Ive not seen anyone talk about class or oiks. It's not the same thing. And anyone who says they are perfectly happy to send their kids to a school with that kind of environment is either lying or part of the problem.

Some massive generalisations about schools

I see loads of threads where private school parents say that, essentially, they don't want their children mixing with lower class oiks

Simple. Better behaviour and bullying controlled. They are the two things that were totally and utterly out of control in the ‘excellent’ state secondary school my child attended before. In my experience the difference between the state and private in these two areas is night and day.

And other things follow this. Results are better as teachers can teach. Pupils are more confident and happier as there is a respect between pupils.

Nope. How about you go back and read some of the comments about the many many reasons that are NOT that as to why people do.

So what are you personally buying by opting for private school?

It's to open doors, buy status, and make sure they give off the right class signals. It's the ladder to the old boys' network.

@Lovetotravel123 "To those who think that private schools should just cut their costs a bit, I would suggest that they try running a school first"

State schools are expected to do it....

Anyone suggesting private schools cut costs should go and chat to bursars and headteachers of state schools. They're experts at it.

I’d imagine deprivation is an indicator because you might live in a chaotic household, you might be moving from temporary housing to temporary housing when you are trying to revise, you might be a career, your parents might not appreciate an education, your parents might not be able to afford the revision guides, your parents might be stressing about how to pay the bills.

But I know from sure that many, many finance companies actively try to recruit from deprived backgrounds to ensure they don’t exist in an echo chamber and appeal to as wide a range of clients as possible. And as many from a deprived background are clever and keen to get a good job straight from school rather than university, and these candidates really appeal.

Your ideas of ‘contacts’ seem really out of touch. They were applicable in the 1970s for such, and at a push the 1980s, but in the present day? Of course not!

To those who think that private schools should just cut their costs a bit, I would suggest that they try running a school first. The largest proportion of cost is the staff and there isn’t much that can be done about that. In addition, the amount of extra cost that is incurred by factors that are required to meet inspection requirements just grows, with little extra revenue to balance this out. It’s a competitive market and so fees can’t just be increased to take account of regulation-related cost.

Do you really think that someone from an inner school that is on HAF has parents who are best friends from University with owners of companies with multi million turnover?

I'm curious now. Why do you think deprivation is such a predictor for poorer outcomes?

How do you know I'm not???

We wouldn’t be allowed to let someone workshadow without going through the proper HR protocol which offers these opportunities to all young people. And state school parents can do all of these things fgs! It’s hardly all private school parents are captains of industry, and all state school parents are workshy benefit jockeys.

I’m sure you are right. I also know that maintaining ancient buildings, often with carved stone decoration, decoratively moulded Victorian guttering, copper roofing and all these other beautiful features requires the sorts of specialists employed by the National Trust. Doing even the smallest thing costs an arm and a leg.

And if me or my friends (and I’m sure there were people at my school who were) were in those categories, we would still have gone to the same school as we were all from extremely working class backgrounds and had no hope of even getting to a private school if part funded by bursary. Many of us couldn’t even afford school dinners at a state school so relied on the state to provide that to us too.

The problem here isn’t VAT on school fees, it’s the state of state schools. Anger is just in totally the wrong place, it absolutely shouldn’t be the case that those who are wealthier get their needs met while others don’t. And if you’re a beneficiary of that system but about to lose that benefit - then rally for better conditions for the many millions of kids who never had a better chance.

Eton is not an exemplar FFS. Most are nothing like that. Most private schools are far more akin to a leafy comp on a nice hit of the home counties than Eton.

Are you for real?
Contacts can mean all sorts from knowing people who can give you the time of day, work shadowing, putting you in touch with people who might know of a job that's coming up, having a conversation about the role in advance, a meeting over coffee to help prep for interviews, the ability to do unpaid work shadowing and gain skills and experience to assist with getting a crucial first paid role etc.

@Genevieva ,

‘I reckon a lot of the school fees for some of the more expensive schools go on maintaining grade 1 listed buildings, rather than on anything spent on the children.’

I was curious and dubious about this so I had a look at Eton college as an exemplar.

They have income of about £100 million (!), a lot of it from investments. They spend about 32% on buildings, including depreciation. I suspect most of that will be upgraded and new building, rather than maintenance.

It is a lot, but the majority is still staff and teaching.

Can you please explain what this means? I’m baffled. I send my child to a private school. What sort of advantage might they get from ‘contacts’ from doing so? I don’t get it.

I work in finance. Most big finance companies have a set recruitment process which new starts have to go through. The CVs will be whittled down, some remove details such as what university the person went to as they went to make it as fair as possible. Pretty much all would remove the name of the school. The days of someone handing a job to their child’s schoolfriend for instance are long gone!

@CurlewKate I haven't said private schools are necessarily better and I wouldn't assume that. But the private my kids go to is better than the state one I took them out of. It's smaller, quieter, more flexible, any bullying is dealt with fast and effectively. As I said previously, it's resources are old and somewhat shabby and it's non selective so results aren't stellar. But it's the right place for my kids. I get help from my parents but if I only had one child I could actually afford it on my high 30k salary. I'm not minted by any stretch. I get tired of seeing posts that lump all private school parents as one.

@autel,

‘The main reason English people use private schools is from social aspirationalism.’

I don’t agree with that. Most of the parents are already successful and socially confident.

As I said, the vast majority do it to get the best possible education for their children. This, sadly, for the vast majority, but not all, means grades.

A vast number, also, have no experience of any other type of school. They move in circles where the question ‘which schools are you thinking about’ implicitly means which private school. They know nothing else and would, frankly, consider they were letting their child down if they were forced to send them to a state school.

Another factor is delegating parenting to the school. It is pretty much true that a good private school will sort hobbies, sports and wrap around care all on the same site. Many parents have no idea what their children’s hobbies or interests are but that is fine, as the school does (that isn’t my idea of great parenting but at least they have delegated it, so it could be worse).

There are some whom my parents would have rather snobbily called ‘nouveaux riches’, who are buying social cachet and a nice accent for their children. As a teacher, these can be really tricky to deal with, as they feel they are buying their children a service in the same way as they might buy a business class ticket, and they are unafraid to criticise any small aspect of it that they feel may not be up to scratch (such as their child not being predicted a particular grade at GCSE!). This is the only set who are socially aspirational and, in my experience, they are a small minority.

You are right, for the more expensive and exclusive schools