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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU - not inviting everyone to the leaving do is a dick move

240 replies

Packingcubesqueen · 06/08/2024 15:19

I work in a school. One of the other teachers is leaving. They have invited a group of people to their leaving do and left a few out. The people who have been invited are various ages and job positions (SLT, TAs, Teachers etc) she has basically just excluded a few people she doesn’t like (including me). I have never had any conflict with this person, there is no back story that I know of. I am often excluded from things but never with so many others being included. Usually about half of us aren’t invited. We are also having a lunch on her last day, that is for everyone. She didn’t organise the lunch.
YABU - it’s her leaving do she can invite who she likes
YANBU - it’s a dick move

OP posts:
Original poster
Packingcubesqueen · 06/08/2024 15:27

Awrite · 06/08/2024 15:23

Projecting here but maybe there are a couple of colleagues who she really doesn't want to attend and so she leaves a fair few out so as not to appear pointed.

Like I say - projecting.😉

She hasn’t left a fair few out most people are invited. Only a few of us are not invited.

OP posts:
kimchi81 · 06/08/2024 15:26

Packingcubesqueen · 06/08/2024 15:25

Not more closely no. Just people she likes.

Show quote history

she has invited her friends to drinks / dinner

let her alone op!

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 06/08/2024 15:26

She’s having an event in work with everyone.
she’s having an event out of work with people she classes as her friends.

she’s not being an arse here.

Original poster
Packingcubesqueen · 06/08/2024 15:26

kimchi81 · 06/08/2024 15:22

excluded a few people she doesn’t like (including me).

well knock me down with a feather!

I wasn’t hiding that fact. Obviously this is why I’m posting.

OP posts:
kimchi81 · 06/08/2024 15:26

let me guess

her “leaving do” is to the pub for a few drinks with friends? a meal out?

who would want their night to say goodbye to those they care about and enjoyed working with spoilt by having to share the evening with someone that they don’t like and does nott like then

Original poster
Packingcubesqueen · 06/08/2024 15:25

Sirzy · 06/08/2024 15:21

Are the staff that have been invited ones she works more closely with?

if she already has a whole group leaving event planned then I don’t see an issue of her doing something just with her friends.

Not more closely no. Just people she likes.

OP posts:
Ivehearditbothways · 06/08/2024 15:24

There is a leaving do for everything. She is having a separate one with her colleagues whom she sees as friends. You aren’t her friend so why would you be invited?

Aquamarine1029 · 06/08/2024 15:24

If this is a private event held off school grounds, of course she is entitled to only invite who she wants to.

kimchi81 · 06/08/2024 15:24

she is leaving OP

of course she isn’t going to invite people she doesn’t like and who don’t like her!

she has got zero motivation to do that.

She wants to say farewell to friends

and that… is completely reasonable

Awrite · 06/08/2024 15:23

Projecting here but maybe there are a couple of colleagues who she really doesn't want to attend and so she leaves a fair few out so as not to appear pointed.

Like I say - projecting.😉

PeachPairPlum · 06/08/2024 15:23

Agree with you. I've had this and - perhaps childishly- regretted contributing to her leaving gift.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 06/08/2024 15:22

There's an event for everyone so this is just for friends

kimchi81 · 06/08/2024 15:22

excluded a few people she doesn’t like (including me).

well knock me down with a feather!

Sirzy · 06/08/2024 15:21

Are the staff that have been invited ones she works more closely with?

if she already has a whole group leaving event planned then I don’t see an issue of her doing something just with her friends.

OnHisSweaterAlreadyMomsSpaghetti · 06/08/2024 15:20

Ofcourse she can invite who she likes even more so if there is already an event for everyone