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Original poster

To find this apology an absolute cheek

218 replies

Crabsinthesea · 06/08/2024 15:11

Yesterday I heard my two friends making fun of my weight behind my back in a restaurant whilst I went to the toilet. I confronted them and they just said it was banter and I need to take a joke. I said I wasn’t happy and then there was an atmosphere until we went home shortly after. Then today I received this text.

So she’s blaming me for being sensitive and telling me to move on! What a cheek! A complete non apology and I’m even more fuming!

To find this apology an absolute cheek
OP posts:
GirlMumGabby · 06/08/2024 15:22

They are not friends. I would never ever comment about my friends weight to anyone. I don't even think about my friends weight. They were bitching. Well done for confronting them. I would cut them out my life and find decent friends.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 06/08/2024 15:21

The only thing correct here is that she has used ‘could have instead of ‘could of’ OP.
The rest is not an apology.
A true apology…

  1. is about saying sorry for the hurt caused
  2. a promise it will never happen again
  3. an understanding that the person hurt may need time and space to reflect. It does not read like this and the ‘can we leave it now. Sorry 💗’ deserves an extra award.
avocadotofu · 06/08/2024 15:20

I'd be really upset in your position. They sound pretty awful and I'm not sure I could continue with the friendship.

Ivehearditbothways · 06/08/2024 15:19

sunshine244 · 06/08/2024 15:17

It's a bit of a non-apology. But having said that it's hard to judge without knowing what was said and the context.

There's a vast difference between, for example, a joke relating to someone looks horrible and fat vs joking about someone's clothes not suiting their weight.

Both of the things you’ve suggested are awful and not funny. Would you find it funny to joke about someone not suiting their clothes? That’s just bullying. It’s snide and bitchy and bullying.

What exactly is funny and enjoyable about pointing at someone and saying how awful they look in their clothes? Would it be visible fat rolls that are funny? Overhanging tummy that’s funny? Visible upper arms?

What is it that you find funny about fat people in certain clothes?

tuttuttutt · 06/08/2024 15:19

Arseholes. It's not on you for being sensitive.

Thesecretingredientiscrime · 06/08/2024 15:19

Yeah, friends don't 'banter' about their friend's weight. Ever.

A short, sharp 'off you fuck' text will do the job.

Jeschara · 06/08/2024 15:18

Back away from them. They are piss takers and enjoy making fun of people.
Can we leave it. Not their decision, I would be glad I found them out, and move on. Keep your pleasant friends. I hope they see this thread and realise they are nasty unpleasant people.

Fuckitydoodah · 06/08/2024 15:18

They aren't friends. They're arseholes.

Blaming you for it as well!

CosmicDaisyChain · 06/08/2024 15:18

Talk about non apology. So she's sorry without being the least bit sorry and at the same time making it your fault that you were offended. I'd be dropping the pair of them.

rainbowstardrops · 06/08/2024 15:18

I'd tell them to fuck off. If it was banter between you all and you all give as good as you get then that's one thing. 'Banter' aka bitchiness behind your back is different.

Sparkletastic · 06/08/2024 15:18

What did they say exactly?

Bonjovispjs · 06/08/2024 15:18

Nastiness is not banter, get rid, you're better off without them.

Ivehearditbothways · 06/08/2024 15:17

Ask her outright what exactly is funny? What is it about your weight that they find funny? And how enjoyable is the banter about your weight?
Ask if they would enjoy it if you picked up on something they are unhappy about, and proceeded to mock them for it and call it “banter.”

Dont pull any punches. They’re dickheads. Make her explain exactly what was funny.

sunshine244 · 06/08/2024 15:17

It's a bit of a non-apology. But having said that it's hard to judge without knowing what was said and the context.

There's a vast difference between, for example, a joke relating to someone looks horrible and fat vs joking about someone's clothes not suiting their weight.

Redflagsabounded · 06/08/2024 15:17

Banter is with the subject of it appreciating the joke and joining in. Bitching behind someone's back isn't banter. Maybe point that out to them. If you want to continue as friends they should both apologise - properly, not that non-apology that blames you for being too sensitive.

But they don't sound very nice.

clarepetal · 06/08/2024 15:15

Fuck off.

Them, not you.

coxesorangepippin · 06/08/2024 15:14

Walk away op

Sunshineafterthehail · 06/08/2024 15:14

"Happy to leave it".
Then back away..they aren't your friends...

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