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Original poster

To find this apology an absolute cheek

218 replies

Crabsinthesea · 06/08/2024 15:11

Yesterday I heard my two friends making fun of my weight behind my back in a restaurant whilst I went to the toilet. I confronted them and they just said it was banter and I need to take a joke. I said I wasn’t happy and then there was an atmosphere until we went home shortly after. Then today I received this text.

So she’s blaming me for being sensitive and telling me to move on! What a cheek! A complete non apology and I’m even more fuming!

To find this apology an absolute cheek
OP posts:
GodSavetheJean · 06/08/2024 15:41

Sounds like they know they were dead wrong and they want to drop it. OP, these are not good friends. I am sorry this happened to you but at the same time, they showed you who they really are. I would drop it, and them, immediately.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/08/2024 15:40

“Dear so-called friends,

You were not ‘bantering’ - you were bitching about me behind my back. Being upset about this does not make me over sensitive, but trying to excuse it shows me very clearly who you are.

I do not accept your ‘apology’.

@Crabsinthesea“

newfriend05 · 06/08/2024 15:40

I hate when people try and blame " your too sensitive " no your not .. they not nice people... and don't deserve you as a friend .. don't reply OP just leave them to each other

Rosemarysprinkle · 06/08/2024 15:40

Tell them “you’re right I do need to lose 20+ stone of useless weight” and block them both 😊😊😊

Dinoswearunderpants · 06/08/2024 15:37

They are not your friends. Total gaslighting at it's finest.

bergamotorange · 06/08/2024 15:37

sunshine244 · 06/08/2024 15:17

It's a bit of a non-apology. But having said that it's hard to judge without knowing what was said and the context.

There's a vast difference between, for example, a joke relating to someone looks horrible and fat vs joking about someone's clothes not suiting their weight.

Only an arsehole would say either of those things behind their friend's back.

Blackcats7 · 06/08/2024 15:36

This is the classic non apology with a bit of victim blaming thrown in for good measure.
I think you should message back fuck off and bitch to your heart’s content and then block them.

NotWhiteIsAColour · 06/08/2024 15:35

sunshine244 · 06/08/2024 15:17

It's a bit of a non-apology. But having said that it's hard to judge without knowing what was said and the context.

There's a vast difference between, for example, a joke relating to someone looks horrible and fat vs joking about someone's clothes not suiting their weight.

Which one is meant to be acceptable? Both sound fairly nasty.

Lavenderblossoms · 06/08/2024 15:35

Jesus, who needs enemies with friends like these? Funny it was just banter but it was behind your back.

Please, just dump them and never look back. Friends are supposed to make you feel good!

Iwant20cats · 06/08/2024 15:35

They are not your friends they are a pair of bitches

sunshine244 · 06/08/2024 15:35

Ivehearditbothways · 06/08/2024 15:19

Both of the things you’ve suggested are awful and not funny. Would you find it funny to joke about someone not suiting their clothes? That’s just bullying. It’s snide and bitchy and bullying.

What exactly is funny and enjoyable about pointing at someone and saying how awful they look in their clothes? Would it be visible fat rolls that are funny? Overhanging tummy that’s funny? Visible upper arms?

What is it that you find funny about fat people in certain clothes?

Show quote history

I didn't say either would be funny. But my response would be different depending upon if someone was being deliberately cruel or not. Comments can also be misinterpreted or not meant how they came out. That's why we need to know what was actually said.

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 06/08/2024 15:34

I absolutely hate the word banter. It’s more often than not thinly veiled bullying.
I would be very hurt, and would definitely tell them both to go to hell.

ISawAMouse · 06/08/2024 15:33

I hate it when people accuse people of being sensitive when they have offended them, it’s victim blaming.
I would put the friends behind you, rather than what they said. They aren’t your friends anyway if they can be that spiteful.

cariadlet · 06/08/2024 15:33

They were bitching about you behind your back - unacceptable.

The supposed friend responded to your hurt feelings with a non apology - time to ditch them.

A real apology involves accepting that somebody is wrong and uses the active voice, not the passive voice.
I'm sorry that I hurt you = apology
I'm sorry that you were hurt =non apology

Terrible victim blaming in this non-apology; no acknowledgement that they were bitchy, just blaming you for being sensitive. That's not how friends treat each other.

XMissPlacedX · 06/08/2024 15:32

Whether you walk away really depends on what kind of friends you want. These ones, I would throw back. Who wants friends like that.

Thevelvelletes · 06/08/2024 15:31

Banter the defence mechanism of a nasty bastard.

OlympicsFanGirl · 06/08/2024 15:31

They were being bitches and now they are putting the blame onto you for being upset.

Doubling down on the bitchiness.

Walk away. These are not good people.

ShanghaiDiva · 06/08/2024 15:31

sunshine244 · 06/08/2024 15:17

It's a bit of a non-apology. But having said that it's hard to judge without knowing what was said and the context.

There's a vast difference between, for example, a joke relating to someone looks horrible and fat vs joking about someone's clothes not suiting their weight.

No difference at all- neither is appropriate from “friends’

Sapphire387 · 06/08/2024 15:30

Total 'sorry, not sorry' there. Just awful.

BadNeighbour101 · 06/08/2024 15:28

So she’s blaming me for being sensitive and telling me to move on!

Half of this is good advice, you should just do that, move on. They are not your friends, there's nothing positive for you in sticking with them.

Adm1010 · 06/08/2024 15:27

Mean girls ! Alive and well in 2024 , how horrible

I couldn’t be friends with these people . And that “apology “ is not an apology .

GonnaBeYoniThisChristmas · 06/08/2024 15:25

You’ve done the hard bit by confronting them at the time - well done.

Don’t let them weasel out with their heart emoji non-apology message🙄. This is all about making themselves feel less shit. Personally, I would not write back and block. Move forward with your own beautiful life and leave these cows behind. Would you ever want to go out for dinner and bants with them again???

KickAssAngel · 06/08/2024 15:25

"well, now I know that you find it funny to laugh at other people. Goodbye"

ButterCrackers · 06/08/2024 15:25

They are not friends. Don’t even give them a reply. Ignore and don’t waste anymore of your time on these nasty people.

Badburyrings · 06/08/2024 15:23

"knowing how sensitive you can be we shouldn't have said it really"

Turning it round on you as if it's all your fault for being overweight and sensitive.

It wasn't "banter" it was bitchiness. I wouldn't be friends with someone like that. Truly dreadful text, I would reply with a simple fuck off and block.

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