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Original poster

To find this apology an absolute cheek

218 replies

Crabsinthesea · 06/08/2024 15:11

Yesterday I heard my two friends making fun of my weight behind my back in a restaurant whilst I went to the toilet. I confronted them and they just said it was banter and I need to take a joke. I said I wasn’t happy and then there was an atmosphere until we went home shortly after. Then today I received this text.

So she’s blaming me for being sensitive and telling me to move on! What a cheek! A complete non apology and I’m even more fuming!

To find this apology an absolute cheek
OP posts:
Elevenutionary · 06/08/2024 18:41

Sadly OP, I think this friendship is over. I’m not sure even an apology would let me trust these people again. They sound like mean girls. I don’t think I’d respond at all to that ‘apology’. If you did want to respond I think maybe smthng like:
Don’t apologise for my feelings and reactions. It was hurtful that my friends were making fun of me behind my back. Happy to leave it.

Then lose them. At least they’ll know you’re not a pushover. I’m really sorry this happened to you.

BotDranning · 06/08/2024 18:36

Rosemarysprinkle · 06/08/2024 15:40

Tell them “you’re right I do need to lose 20+ stone of useless weight” and block them both 😊😊😊

Agree with this. Honestly. Why are people like this?
Please chalk this up to experience. Thus is them. Not you. They are horrible horrible people.
Xx

TunnocksOrDeath · 06/08/2024 18:32

She”s not very bright, this “friend”, is she?

” Banter” is when you say it to the person’s face, and they know it’s a joke, and it’s pitched so that they don’t actually mind.
When you say it behind their back, and it’s unkind, then it’s not banter; it’s just plain “bitchiness”.
She got caught bitching and now she’s back-pedalling (quite ineptly) to make it look like she’s not in the wrong. You can call her out on it, or pretend you understand and smooth it over.
(Also, her grammar is dismal)

Cherrysoup · 06/08/2024 18:31

It’s not you, it’s them. That’s not an apology, it’s a telling off about you being ‘sensitive’. How dare she?! As another pp says, had it been ‘banter’, she’d have said it to your face. They were talking truth, they weren’t expecting to be overheard. Cows.

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 06/08/2024 18:29

ElizabethCage · 06/08/2024 18:20

Since you're not sensitive I just wanted to let you know that you're rude, your breath smells and you have the fashion sense of a binned teabag. I'll just take my fat sensitivity and leave you to it.

Is what i would reply

SmileSmileSmile

That made me laugh!

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 06/08/2024 18:27

How awful for you, they clearly don't give a shit about your feelings if they can joke about you and then offer a half arsed apology!

People like this are not worth your time.

Hope you are okay

Figgygal · 06/08/2024 18:22

Sounds theyre bitches who got caught bitching.....not friends!!!

Mummyexpat · 06/08/2024 18:21

Wrong B word…Bitching NOT Banter!! Hope you’re okay OP.

ElizabethCage · 06/08/2024 18:20

Since you're not sensitive I just wanted to let you know that you're rude, your breath smells and you have the fashion sense of a binned teabag. I'll just take my fat sensitivity and leave you to it.

Is what i would reply

ellesbellesxxx · 06/08/2024 18:20

sunshine244 · 06/08/2024 15:17

It's a bit of a non-apology. But having said that it's hard to judge without knowing what was said and the context.

There's a vast difference between, for example, a joke relating to someone looks horrible and fat vs joking about someone's clothes not suiting their weight.

Both still nasty though?

Op, so sorry your friends were so unkind. A true friend would never ever “banter” about anything, they celebrate who you are. You deserve better x

DaisyFloop · 06/08/2024 18:19

Crabsinthesea · 06/08/2024 15:11

Yesterday I heard my two friends making fun of my weight behind my back in a restaurant whilst I went to the toilet. I confronted them and they just said it was banter and I need to take a joke. I said I wasn’t happy and then there was an atmosphere until we went home shortly after. Then today I received this text.

So she’s blaming me for being sensitive and telling me to move on! What a cheek! A complete non apology and I’m even more fuming!

I'm sorry YOU.... Is not an apology, its blaming you for their behaviour. I don't know anyone who would be sensitive to being laughed at and joked about. Honestly they're not your friends.

Sethera · 06/08/2024 18:17

I'd have walked out of the restaurant.

PrettyPickle · 06/08/2024 18:15

Just give them the link to this posting and the replies and let them see what everyone thinks of their "banter". They owe you a genuine, honest and truly apologetic response or ditch then as you can do a lot better!

Spidey66 · 06/08/2024 18:12

Edited cos I got it wrong

LookItsMeAgain · 06/08/2024 18:11

How about replying something like this:
"Based on that message, it is clear that we have a difference of opinion here. You see things differently to me, but I need an apology that acknowledges what you said and did. It's important for me to hear that you understand why your actions were hurtful to me."

Unrealnotunrealistic · 06/08/2024 18:05

NRYFT but only one of those friends has contacted you- badly.

Wittyapple · 06/08/2024 18:01

I'm shocked that people actually voted that you are being unreasonable.

YANBU - They aren't your friends

mumedu · 06/08/2024 18:01

Not your friends

LlynTegid · 06/08/2024 18:00

A non-apology really.

Former friends now, I hope.

saltytowers · 06/08/2024 17:59

Also, inform them that a heart emoji doesn't make it better.

saltytowers · 06/08/2024 17:59

They want you to "leave it" for their own convenience and comfort. A proper apology doesn't come with more insults about the subject of their arseholery being sensitive and then a snarky request to let it drop.

They are cunts and definitely not your friends.

DancelikeFredAstaire · 06/08/2024 17:58

Sinderalla · 06/08/2024 17:28

I'm wondering this too, like to grade how bad I would feel.
I know any banter about weight is bad but.
To advise, I'd need to grade it - I think

Show quote history

I'm not sure knowing what was said would be helpful. We all have different levels of what is acceptable "banter" and what is not. What may have upset the OP may not upset you, but the point is the OP WAS hurt by the comments so having them dismissed on here as "trivial" will not help IMO.

Oblomov24 · 06/08/2024 17:55

Sorry to say but this woman is a shallow bitch, not your friend, just gently back off.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 06/08/2024 17:53

'Friends' do not take the piss out of each others weight. That's not an apology it's a copout. Give them a wide berth from now on @Crabsinthesea

Supermacs · 06/08/2024 17:51

Bitches. You're worth more than the pair of them combined

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