To think they should have at least offered a refund?

The person on the door probably doesn't have the authority to refund.

Would be much more beneficial to email the centre regarding the issues. Maybe suggest they have special sen sessions where noise equipment is turned off.

@Sirzy I think she probably got frustrated with some responses. Though of course many people did offer reasonable suggestions, I feel sometimes in threads like this, the underlying message is someone who is tired and stressed and needs a sympathetic response and not judgement.
@7thCircleofHell I hear you and I understand as someone in a similar situation. Chalk it up to a bad day, and find some way to take care of yourself. Step away from this thread if you need to.

Plenty of people on here have plenty of experience. People may not agree with you expecting a refund but that doesn’t mean they don’t have experience and don’t know how hard it can be. To be honest I’m not sure why you are being so rude to posters who are simply trying to help you.

There is really no need to be rude to people.

Your whole refusal of the idea of outdoor/forest play is that his bolting was an issue. So put him in a harness. How is jolting an issue if you use a harness? So it didn’t sounds as though you use one, which is why that poster suggested it. There is absolutely no need to be so rude in your reply.

I think the previous poster meant outside, at the payment window... not inside the soft play place.

I'd write to them and suggest the airlock system to improve safety - it seems a sensible thing to have and all (the 3.. huge sample I know) I've been to with smalls have been set up this way, plenty of NT kids will also bolt out of an open door given the chance!

Ask for a refund if you like - based on the fact you couldn't see if it was suitable til you'd gone in, I don't think its unreasonable to ask but I suspect it is unlikely you'd get it.

Of course I do, and there was no nastiness meant in my post whatsoever.

My point was that the facility may not have deemed the double doors/air lock necessary (I think they should have this!) as the expectation is that parents should be watching their child to ensure they don’t just walk out through an open door. That has nothing to do with SEN or anything else, just a general expectation that the children are being supervised by an adult.

Doesn't sound like a place you'd want to recommend to other SEN parents in any capacity tbh.

That would help free up a hand if needed and gives you an extra layer of protection from running. I used to have rhe harness on my wrist and then also hold his hand so if he broke free from my grip we had the harness as a backup.

Have you tried a special needs harness or wrist strap. Far from ideal but if it allows him to settle and adjust it might be an option. My DD who is ND went through a period of bolting when DD2 turned up. Terrifying as you can't abandon the pram and chase after them. I've never been so petrified.

A couple of days in a harness made the point and she never did it again. I appreciate it is very different with a SEN child though and I don't intend to minimise but sometimes needs must for your peace of mind and his safety.

By even making this post you did on some level expect a refund

You should have checked the venue for suitability first. Do they not have a website or FB page which lists the equipment and has photos for example?

You now need to go online and review the place so other SEN parents can do their research. So explain the lack of secondary gate, the need to pay outside and what equipment there is. Post it on FB, TripAdvisor, Google, local SEN pages.

Mine is well over soft play age and I don't recall every going to a proper soft play that did not have a double door/gate system unless just a tiny area in the corner of a cafe, so I would have expected there to be one and am surprised that they aren't fairly standard

So no I wouldn't expect to be offered a refund however I would give a constructive review from a SEN parents point of view online highlighting the concerns this will then a) provide heads up for other families and b) notifies the company of a possible duty of care failure and a way to increase business revenue

What suits one child with SEN won't work for another child with SEN they aren't all one big group. When a parent has had a bad experience with their own child but the business steps up to help the parent then then the parent will often go online to praise the business and other parents with children with SEN are more likely to give that place a try. There is a cinema near us that gets highly praised on the local asd Facebook pages. Nothing wrong with the other cinemas but in this one the management and staff go the extra mile and it's appreciated. It's the same even with supermarkets and fast food restaurants.

I had to leave a fun park once because my kid was having a meltdown. She found out she was half an inch too short for a ride she wanted to go on. I had hubby with me who carried her back to the car but I went up to the desk and got a refund. The park was a 45min drive away 🙄

Have you looked for any sensory play centres locally? They tend to me much more suitable than soft play and are designed with children (and adults in many cases) with disabilities in mind.

Blimey, I think my responses can be seen as quite harsh, but some of these.... Wow!

The op has a new baby and is clearly trying to find her way in looking after both her children. It's experiences like this that can absolutely make or break her confidence in looking after them both and she's not the only mum of multiple to be in a state kf "omfg how do I do this", let alone with the added complexities a child with additional needs brings.

That being said, I don't think a refund is due. However, the OP has already said she didn't really expect it.

To the OP, please don't let this experience be anything other than learning. You do sound overwhelmed and perhaps if that's the case, see this as an opportunity to explore that possibility more, get advice from some of the boards on here, if you can get more support in real life etc.

Are you telling a parent of a child with asd that they need to supervise their child? Because I’m sure OP knows this already.

It’s just nice and helpful when there is a gate that our children with asd can’t easily escape out of. 👍🏻

Surely that’s just a basic safety measure when you’re operating a venue where there are lots of toddlers and children with sen? It should be a venue that is safe and accessible for all. And if the gate isn’t safe then the venue isn’t accessible for all, is it? So on that basis I think OP should have the refund.

My dd has asd, and is very impulsive and can dash off in an instant especially if she’s having a meltdown. If I’m not quick enough she would be out of a gate like that. The gate should be locked locked locked because that is the venue’s responsibility.

I sympathise OP. I have a SEN child with complex needs who gets very overwhelmed with soft play even though he loves it.

I think a lot of soft play isn't that suitable for SEN kids tbh. The equipment is great, but it's often crowded, with lots music, noisy, echo-ey, having to queue to get in even though you've pre-booked. And you have to follow your kids everywhere.

We usually look for ones with SEN sessions which are a bit calmer and the other parents more understanding.

I wouldn't have expected a refund - I've been to so many of these places where DS will refuse to even go in, or just spend 10 mins and want to leave. I would instead ask them, alongside other parents, if they would do a SEN session once a month and give them some advice on what would be helpful for SEN kids.

Sorry your DS couldn't manage today, its sounds poorly set up, asking to pay outside is already a no for me not just for the fact he will bolt but it would be nice to at least step into the building and get a feel because you know your ds best after himself.

They could have been nice and offered you a refund.... probably at the point the other lady had to help you with the baby or before but places like these don't really care its just money isn't it unfortunately

I feel you, and most places have stopped their sen sessions over the summer ( at least where I am anyway) so the kids who get maybe 1 awkward hour a month/week have now had that taken from them whilst they're out of school and routine they can't even go somewhere that's just for them it's hard at the best of times bit especially when there's no quiet times not even specifically sen sessions just quieter time of day. Yes the air lock isn't great and I've seen posters saying you shouldn't have paid if you knew it wasn't the set up you required but sometimes we just have to try dint we.

Hope you're OK and your DS and you managed something else dun and regulating for him.