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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if a friend has ever suddenly stopped talking to you?

107 replies

Newlifeincoming · 06/08/2024 12:41

I'm feeling quite sad at the moment because a good friend of mine has suddenly stopped talking to me. We were close and spoke to each other a lot, but now my texts, calls, and emails have all been ignored.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? Did you ever hear back from the person who ghosted you? What happened when or if they eventually got back in touch? Did you respond and continue the friendship?

OP posts:
Insidelaurashead · 06/08/2024 12:53

YES I've had this, someone I knew from work and became friends with out of work. We saw each other all the time, messaged most days etc and then suddenly she just stopped replying to me after I invited her (and her boyfriend, if he wanted to) to come to a pub quiz nearby. Stopped replying to me, unfollowed me on social media etc (still follows my boyfriend, though, and me from her dog's account-she's probably forgotten about that)

I find it really, really hurtful. At the time I spent a long time trying to figure out what I'd done wrong, but now I know it's her, not me

JennyForeigner · 06/08/2024 12:53

Yes, it really really hurt me. She stopped talking to me and our university friends at the same time. For years I felt horribly uncomfortable and squicky about it, as though I had done something truly awful and unforgivable, but I didn't know.

She re-emerged after a while, completely reinvented and transformed from her previous creative interesting self, right down to having fundamentally changed characteristics including sexuality.

Weirdly, she then borderline inappropriately went all out to rebuild relationships with my family, moving close to my siblings and 'best friending' them. In one case they still holiday together every year. I have never said how unkind and odd I find the lengths she has gone to to move in on the people I love, while summarily ghosting me and everyone she knew before she was 25.

Redlegs · 06/08/2024 12:50

I have been experiencing this over the past nearly year. It’s utterly baffling and hurtful. She’s alluded to mental and physical health issues but she’s always had these and we’d always shared our struggles and supported each other.
I keep overthinking it and trying to comb over everything we’ve ever experienced together to try and pin point any fractious interactions but can’t.
Part of me thinks ah well, not everyone can like me but another part is angry that she couldn’t just tell me why she needed less of me in her life.
I’ve no advice really apart from moving on and trying not to think about it too much.

Catza · 06/08/2024 12:50

Yes and I haven't bothered with them since. I have no time for childish nonsense (the person is perfectly fine according to SM).

FakeMiddleton · 06/08/2024 12:47

Yes, it's happened to me.

It's been 8 years since I last heard from her. Tbh, I think really lowly of her now - like, what a piece of shit. To my knowledge, nothing happened and she couldn't be bothered to get a spine and say "hey, just not feeling it any more".

I'd known her 6 years.

Itsajobones · 06/08/2024 12:45

This would drive me crazy! I'd get another friend or family member to find out why. I'd have to know even if I'd never hear from them again. I think ghosting is absolutely awful.

Malahide · 06/08/2024 12:43

Are you sure she’s ok? When this happened with one of my close friends she was actually having a mental health crisis and isolating herself from the world.

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