To ask if a friend has ever suddenly stopped talking to you?

Yes, has happened several times.

First was a friend my sister met in Uni who I became friends with as well. We were best friends for a good few years before she ghosted me and my sister. This was before mobiles.
We got back in touch around 2007 - I think when Facebook was on the rise. We've all been good friends ever since and she's even godparent to my sons now.
We've never spoken about what happened.

Another was a girl who I'd met and been good friends with for a couple of years in mid 2000s. I'd been invited to her birthday night out in a local city. About a week before, she uninvited me and never contacted me again. (It coincided with me choosing bridesmaids for my wedding. I chose my sister and my best friend who I'd had since I was 11. I'd never told her she was going to be one but it's the only thing I can think of).

Another one was a girl I used to call "my wife from another life" in the early 2010s. We'd been insperable drinking buddies for a few years. One day because I didn't text her back about something straight away, she cut me off.

Sometimes I think maybe it's just me 🤔

Yes this has happened to me twice and it was all my friends not just one.
The first time it was all my friends that I had since school.
We all had plans to go to university but in the end I was the only one who went.
They felt like I chose university over them and they all stopped speaking to me.
About a year later I started a relationship with a guy and made a bunch of new friends. The guy I started seeing played darts and I made a lot of new friends by going to darts matches with him.
We were together 9 years but when we split up I stopped going to darts because I didn't like playing I just went because that was his thing and he didn't drive.
All of the people I had been good friends with for over 9 years (some of which I even went on holidays abroad with) all stopped talking to me because I stopped playing darts.
It has now been 15 years since they all stopped talking to me and I didn't bother making any new friends.
It has been 15 years since I have had a friend and life is certainly a lot less stressful not having to worry about anyone else.

Yes.

We had arranged to meet with our young sons for a play date. She just didn't turn up. No text. No nothing. I texted to see if she was ok and no response.

I was mortified when it clicked that she had just dumped me as a friend. It was so bizarre. We had a few mutual friends who wouldn't tell me why, saying they didn't want to get involved. One mutual 'friend' appeared to be very pleased about it and their friendship ramped up.

I honestly think the friend dumped me because we weren't wealthy enough for her.

She asked me round for coffee three years later and I actually went but I felt sick and anxious and so didn't bother with her again.

Sometimes there just becomes a point that breaks the camels back.
I had become a sound bag for the last few years to a good friend, she and I would message daily. She was forever having relationship issues, I mean weekly, our communication literally became about her latest argument / relationship ending event only for everything to be fine and dandy the following day. She has rang me in tears so many times and I’ve attempted to offer advice / help.
It drained me emotionally. A disagreement between us one day was enough for me. I can honestly say, my life now is so much better and stress free. I genuinely didn’t realise just how emotionally draining the friendship was.
I don’t have any ill feeling towards her in the slightest and wish her well, sometimes things aren’t meant to be forever.

No but I have ghosted someone before.

She was a colleague but we had to work very closely together and rely on each other which gave a false sense of friendship I suppose. She really wanted me to be her chosen family and would call me several times a day even when I was on annual leave. She offloaded every problem or thought she had to me but never let me share mine. She's gay and really wanted children but they could afford the IVF and got very weird around me when I was pregnant. She kept rubbing my belly even before I was showing and started buying things for baby straight away. I asked her to stop loads.
Anyways I went off on mat leave and she left the company but for the while was unemployed she came round nearly every day. Kept trying to take my baby out without me to "give me a break", trying to bath him and "jokingly" suggested she let him suckle on her breast for comfort.
In all fairness, her behaviour forced me to go out more so I was less available which resulted in me meeting a really nice group of new mums and doing more things.

She settled down and we got on but then she invited DH and I round for dinner with her and her wife. We agreed and went and that was when both her and her wife basically waited until I was out of the room and asked DH to let them use his sperm for a baby.
Apparently they wanted to surprise me with the baby being my baby's half sibling when it was born. We could all finally be a real family.
He freaked out and shouted for me to hurry up as we needed to leave.
I never spoke to either of them again. She called, text, came to my flat, went to DHs work. We were already in the early stages of house shopping when this happened so we just sped up the process and managed to move.
She doesn't know my address but I won't go certain places still in case she's there.

So OP, I'm not suggesting you tried to steal your friend's husband's sperm behind her back, but I'm just saying that not everyone who ghosts is a bad person.

My good close friend of 20 years did this to me. We were at uni together. And her partner is a best friend of my husbands. We all live in walking distance and have kids same age. Share many special occasions and meals at each others houses - we even let them stay with us for a month when they were between houses. It has always been a lovely easy relaxed friendship - we meet up every week usually with the kids. Out of nowhere she just started ignoring my messages asking if she fancied a trip to the park etc. thought nothing of it to start as we both are relaxed and sometimes reply a few days later - no big deal! But this went on for weeks. No replies. Thought something had happened husband checked in with mate and all fine. Still gave benefit of doubt that something else could be going on. Didn’t even think for a moment I had upset her as it was absolutely impossible, nothing had happened. Only thing that it could possibly have been is being upset my son got a school place at a school her child missed out on. But to end a friendship of 15 years on this basis utterly nonsense and it’s not like I decide the places. But this has carried on now for months - she won’t see me. I was relaxed at first and kept reaching out. Never a cross word said. She’s never explained why and I’ve gently asked if everything is ok and that we’d love to catch up. Bumped into each other in the park and it was awkward. Makes me sad and I do miss her as I really valued the friendship and the kids playing together.

sorry to say - ghosting is either because something major is going on for that person and they don’t want to share it with you. Or because of jealousy, or just not liking you anymore.

I’ve given up on this friendship and concentrated on building new ones. Plenty of nice people around and other things to do, life too short to waste time chasing people who don’t care about or value you.

Happened to me about 7 years ago. Close friend from university just dumped our entire friendship group of 4. She did have mental health issues (which we’d always supported her through) so we kept sending messages occasionally (once a month or so, just quick life updates with no obligation to reply) so she knew we were there if needed. I’ve since seen photos of her on several big holidays over this time period which makes me wonder if it might not have been MH at all- it doesn’t fit the pattern of her previous crises.

Anyway, we’ve heard nothing at all but the pictures are a comfort as at least we know she’s seemingly ok. I stopped messaging her about a year after she cut contact after sending a ‘last message’ saying if I didn’t hear back I wouldn’t bother her again, no hard feelings etc.

I don’t think I’d bother if she got in touch now- in fact I’ve blocked her number so wouldn’t know if she had tried to contact me. Too much has happened in the time she’s been MIA- one of us has lost both parents, several babies have been born, etc etc. We’ve moved on and I’m sure she has too. I feel disappointed in her behaviour and I think that’s probably what I’d say if I did see her again.

Just to add I've done a fair bit of ghosting when I was in my 20s. In almost all but one case I think I was at fault, I was over sensitive/ didn't know how to assert myself, in one case i was a complete twat - but in my defence i was working away from home, isolated & just not in a stable place.

I made a vow never to do that again in my early 30s. Have I stuck to that? Yes I actually have, been a lesson in resilience.

I'm currently ghosting/fading out my oldest and closest friend as it turns out we take opposite positions on the trans debate and I don't see any way we can continue to be friends. I can't face her disapproving and criticising me directly though so it's easier to just not reply.

My best friend hasn’t spoken to me since my wedding day six years ago, I don’t know why for sure and it hurts. I went through a grieving period I think for some time afterwards and I still think of her all the time. She was my oldest friend and the only person who really knew, we had been friends since childhood. I’m sure I was also at fault somehow but due the the way I was ghosted I’ve never had chance to make things right. I wrote her a letter and have sent her birthday messages over the years but nothing other than a polite “thank you”.

I came on to say this too! My friend was very much not ok, but "reaching out" wasn't going to help, not then. She and her family had gone through tragedy. It took her 10 years to work through it. Her marriage also broke down. After about 8 years, she started liking my FB posts. At that stage she responded to my suggestion to meet up again. We rekindled our friendship and she told me about her breakdown & how she had to distance herself from everyone she'd been close to when the tragedy happened as she kept being reminded of it. That was about 5 years before Covid hit. She also got back together with her XH. Then she died of a heart attack 18 months ago.

Yes. It happened to me. Had a really good friend. She was a witness at my wedding and I at hers. We were in contact every day. Then her husband got a really good job abroad and she went out with him (two year contract). I emailed, messaged and just tried to keep in contact. I never heard from her again.

I was really puzzled and asked a few mutual friends that knew her if they knew what I’d done. They said that they didn’t.

Years later I saw someone that knew her. She said that my former friend had advanced altzimers. Her husband has had to give up work to look after her. She doesn’t recognise anyone. She’s only 62.

Maybe her ghosting of me was her illness starting. I still feel sad about it.

Yep, supported her through divorce and her mum dying. She then got a new partner and I was ditched.

I had a really good friend I saw every other week without fail. We were friends for years had a shared 21st party and 30th. Got married in the same year.

One day we were out and she wouldn't arrange the next time we would meet. I phoned her several times and she made excuses.

I never found out why. It was 16 years ago now and we had been friends 25 years.

I would wait and see. 2 years ago I had a breakdown due to some health issues and I was completely depressed, sleeping most of the time or crying and I stopped eating. People were messaging me and I ignored them as I couldn't face telling people what was happening and hearing them try to be positive. It sounds crazy and I am not the sort to easily fall apart. Unless this is the sort of thing you expect from this friend I would wait and see if you hear from them.

Yes happened to me a couple of years ago.
I have an idea what its about and basically she wasn't happy I had to put my family first.
Then something happened in the family a year later and she sent a sorry message.
I ignored it...if you run for the hills when I am having a bad time then do me a favour and stay there

Yes, happened to me and my friend about 10 years ago now. To this day we still have no idea why...she blocked us on all social media too. We often wonder what she's doing with her life now.

I ghosted an American friend I had met on holiday. We would Facetime but as time passed she just spoke about herself, herself and herself and the next thing she was inviting herself and her family to come and stay with me across the pond. I live in a small one bedroom flat, struggle financially and did not have the same materialistic approach to life she had. I just said I was feeling very tired and never replied again to her messages. I could breathe again.

Its definitely a way of protecting myself, I had an abusive childhood then straight from that into an abusive marriage as a teen so went through quite a lot in my youth.

I didn't realise I was hurting other people along the way though, so I'm happy enough just chatting for a bit with people and leaving it at that.

I wouldn't even know where to begin with changing things, and, at this point in life I don't really want to anymore.

I'm sorry to read about your childhood, and how it's affecting you now 💐

Yes, we had our babies together and the children grew up together. However I guess our friendship was situational, as she stopped wanting to get together when the kids grew apart. I got to the point where I had decided to stop contacting her, as it was very one sided. It was a huge decision for me, as i thought of her like a sister and loved her kids.
Only a month later her partner left her and she wanted our friendship. I was happy to give it another go, I mentioned how I had felt and she was oblivious.
Fast forward two years, she moved in with a new partner and totally ghosted me. Literally ignored all attempts at communication. I was incredibly hurt and it really impacted upon me at an already difficult time. I was mentally unwell and it took another 8 months to discover I had hypothyroidism and anxiety and depression linked to this. I always wonder how much this played a part in the demise of our friendship. However I will never know and Looking back, I'm pleased I'm no longer friends with someone who made me feel I wasn't good enough for her. Still miss our shared history and it breaks me heart that I don't know how her children are. But it's left space for some lovely new friendships and two years on with the right meds I'm much much happier.

@FatmanandKnobbin
Your post really resonated with me; I am much the same in friendships and relationships. You should look at some of the info on avoidant attachment patterns; it's a way of protecting yourself and stems from childhood trauma. Mine's related to my dad leaving me when I was 8 and very sporadic contact since that time until I grew up. I don't see him at all now, but the wounds are still there.

The thing is, it doesn't necessarily help if you do find out the reason!

I work overseas. It's a bit like being permanently at Uni, in that there's a batch of new faces every year, you work, live & socialise in each other's pockets, then after a couple of years people move on & become vague presences on social media.

A lot of the time you have 'friends for a reason' (networking) & 'friends for a season' (you don't make much if any effort to keep in touch, but then 5 years later you both wash up in the same country, & happily prop up a bar & pick up where you left off).

The other thing is there are the drama llama types, who lurch from one Eastenders style friendship crisis to the next, & then there's the wiser heads who stay cheerfully low key matey with everyone because you never know who will turn out to be in the ear of your next boss, etc.

Anyway, so 'Sarah' was definitely the drama llama type. But she was great fun, could be super kind & supportive, & I thought we were pretty close.

A year or so after she left, I noticed I'd been blocked on everything. Ouch.

But oh well, she'd just had an amazing promotion...maybe she was just having a cull in case awkward drunken party pictures from the past surfaced?! Except she hadn't blocked anyone else, & I quickly heard that she was calling me all the names under the sun to anyone who'd listen.

I was totally baffled.

Then, a couple of years later, I ran into her in a bar on holiday, somewhere totally random, & she weaved her way over & jabbed her finger in my face whilst slurring at me that I was an evil bitch for telling everyone she'd been sleeping with her cleaner.

I hadn't even known about it, much less gossiped about it . But even if I'd been able to convince her of that, there didn't seem much point trying to salvage that particular friendship...

I had the same thing. We were really good friends at school, spoke to her again several years later and arranged to meet up and then was ghosted. Thinking back, she actually wasn’t as good a friend as I’d thought at school. It bothered me at the time but that was more to do with my own low self esteem than anything else.

DH was ghosted by a good friend just after our wedding. We weren’t the first and probably not the last he’d done that to.

Also a close family member just stopped any contact a few years ago. They have some mental health issues so just kind of waiting to see if we ever hear from them again.

Very often I think it’s far more to do with the person doing the ghosting than the other way round. Doesn’t always feel like that when it happens though.

Yes. I was very close to a work colleague (who incidentally I didn’t like initially - gut feeling was off) and then she just decided that was it and began either ignoring my messages (we messaged & voice noted a fair bit) or being very short in her replies. Then she came back to work (sabbatical) and began a crusade of bullying against me after weeks of literally ignoring my existence and being extra nice to everyone else. I still don’t know why; we were close but not super close so it wasn’t like she was feeling suffocated. I suspect her life behind closed doors isn’t as great as she makes out and crushing someone professionally and personally maybe gave her a boost in place of actual self esteem? She did her very best to destroy my reputation in work so I honestly think her behaviour comes from a dark dark place!