dinner buying drama

Stop treating him like a child and let him sort out his own lunch. His a grown man and you’re enabling him to be lazy.

why are you staying over at your boyfriends house who still lives at home with mummy like you’re a pair of teenagers with no other choice when you have your own place it make zero sense.

the issue you need to get to the bottom of is why he doesn’t like to come to yours. Is he that insecure of a man that he doesn’t like the fact that you are more independent and secure than him?

'my boyfriend is constantly complaining that he has no lunch for work.

so he is 17 and living at home with mummy and mummy's partner, and you are 20.

as he is not yet an adult he needs an adult to sort his lunch for him - as he is unable to walk into a supermarket i.e. tesco or the co-op and buy a meal deal
and it seems mummy doesn't leave him ' leftovers ' for lunch
or maybe boyfriend is unable to figure out how the microwave at work is used ?

and he is unable to make a cheese or whatever sandwich at home to take with him for lunch at work...

It is kind of you to cook and I’d think it was sweet you were thinking to take care of my adult son.

I would think it pathetic UNLESS my adult son would also be cooking/preparing lunch for his girlfriend. I would be wondering where I went wrong if that were not the case.

Disclaimer: I grew up the only girl in a household of useless boys. Why is it that girls are almost never incompetent but boys routinely are - and it's widely acceptable?

OMG you're dating a mummy's boy!

He gets moody when he has to stay away from his mummy and sides with his mum's boyfriend over a joke about food when you were trying to be nice?!?!

RUN AWAAAAAAY!!

Exactly this.

This. Sounds about 12.

Where is the spirit of hospitality today!

I wouldn’t expect a guest to pay for bills and clean the house. You are a guest of the son. If Mum has an issue it is between them.

It is kind of you to cook and I’d think it was sweet you were thinking to take care of my adult son.

Given your update I think the issue is that you're sorting your boyfriend's lunch- assuming you're adults he's a grown man.

Good point @itsmylife7 didn't even think of that

I know you do it's obvious.
My question was to have a rethink....WHY am I sorting out this man's food ?

Suspect there is something unsaid here. Ie she lives at her parents.

Ok. Clearly very young , maybe earlier 2os and both living with parents?

Mmm, I don't think this sounds like a great relationship.

Moody boyfriend who won't come to yours but sounds like does like you to come and provide food at his Mums where he lives...

Can't keep a private comment between you actually private, and is grumping at you over something he has grumped about TO you previously...

This isn't sounding great.

Ignore PP, it doesn't sound like you're there more than half the week (3 being less than half of 7...) nor does it sound like you're not paying your way or pulling your weight whilst there.

But the dynamic here sounds rather odd. I'd stop visiting him there and see if he'll come to yours... if he can't be bothered (And there is no solid reason for that, for example he's allergic to your cat, or you live in some dank, half-submerged Oubliette where he has to battle the guard troll to get in and out each day...) ... I think that tells you this relationship is going nowhere.

I think it’s a joke open to misinterpretation, so it’s caught you up unfortunately.

However, to all those saying you should pay to stay over with your boyfriend that’s a bit of an ‘only on Mumsnet’

Your house or your parents?

How old are you? You sound like you’re all teens. If your boyfriend wants lunch why can’t he sort himself out.

Well you've learnt a lesson here.....let your boyfriend sort out his own lunches.

Just out of curiosity OP ....who sorts your lunch?

It wasn’t funny, it was poor form.

You stay at their house 2/3 days a week using their facilities and taking up space. Yes you should be contributing and you absolutely shouldn’t be policing the distribution of whatever you bring into the house. Your
bf thought it was a bit off, rightfully so.

I imagine he’s annoyed because you’re trying to foist an embarrassing / awkward conversation he has no interest in having onto him, under the guise of you doing him a favour. It would be one thing for you to tell his step-dad directly that he isn’t to eat any of the food you’ve made; quite another for you to tell somebody else that they need to tell another adult they aren’t to eat any food.

If you’re making food and have a strong opinion about not sharing it, you need to raise that with your boyfriend’s family. I’m going to guess that you wouldn’t, because you’re staying over a lot / living in their house and they’d simply tell you that you’re welcome to stay at your house / live elsewhere.

It seems a bit weird of him. You clearly just said that bc you wanted him to eat it.
Do you eat their food when you're at the house? If so I can see why when you make something then it would be reasonable to share.
Maybe you should just offer some money to the parents to cover your use of their home? They could be moaning at your bf about you and thats why he said what he did.