dinner buying drama

a222 · 2024-08-06T11:18:55+00:00

i stay at my boyfriend and his mums house, i texted my partner to say id bought extra so he could take some to work, and i said in what i thought was a small jab and no big deal ‘make sure your mums boyfriend doesn’t take it to work tomorrow’ as i wanted him to be able to have it for his own lunch. he’s acting like i was going to actually police the leftovers…😂 he has then said im being funny about sharing food and not to offer to buy food for the house anymore! aibu to think it’s an over reaction?

Mamabear999 · 10/08/2024 15:04

You have your own house, but he prefers you to stay at his Manmy’s. Get the running shoes on and run and keep running.

DearDenimEagle · 10/08/2024 12:21

a222 · 06/08/2024 13:48

also can i say that i’ve got my own house i can go to, that my boyfriend is very welcome at but he doesn’t like coming to mine for some reason he gets moody.

im constantly asking if it’s okay that im staying there and if his mum is okay with it and it’s all smiles but honestly i dont think she wants me there.

im not going to go as often anymore.

I’d not go as often, either. If I thought the mother didn’t like me, I’d not go at all. I’d think she was only putting up with me for the bf. I couldn’t be there in those circumstances.
It was perhaps a bit tactless to say that, but I think he has also overreacted, especially if the mother’s boyfriend is likely to take it. Just don’t make him any more lunches and if you do take something, ensure it would be enough for all. He doesn’t sound the best bf material, anyway, if he wants to be with his mum rather than your house, moody etc . Tread gently and watch for red flags for a while.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 06/08/2024 22:12

train ticket home - beginning to sound like a long distance relationship.

a222 · 06/08/2024 21:12

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JJathome · 06/08/2024 20:20

a222 · 06/08/2024 18:47

sunday evening i arrived

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You didn’t spend the weekend together.?

hmm ok. Sure.

I also think having a dig at the person whose home you continually stay at use their facilities, is really bloody ungrateful and rude.

just go home.

Leafygreen84 · 06/08/2024 19:18

Still think it’s absolutely fucking cheeky to “make a dig” at someone whose house you spend half the week in, free of charge. Grow up.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 06/08/2024 19:18

where did i get your ages, by you saying you were not a teenager.

as all of this is so juvenile, but is soooo easily sorted by you not staying over at his mother's home so often.

the two of you are dating, not living together.

and in your opening post you refer to him as boyfriend - which he is, then you call him partner - no, partners live together 24/7

but apparently neither of you can scrape together the money to rent somewhere together so you can be ' partners ' as you are in a min wage job - but that still brings in £x a month so you must already have a lot of expenses / outgoings for one so young. of course maybe he doesn't feel ready for you both to be living together ?

Original poster

a222 · 06/08/2024 18:50

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 06/08/2024 14:38

'my boyfriend is constantly complaining that he has no lunch for work.

so he is 17 and living at home with mummy and mummy's partner, and you are 20.

as he is not yet an adult he needs an adult to sort his lunch for him - as he is unable to walk into a supermarket i.e. tesco or the co-op and buy a meal deal
and it seems mummy doesn't leave him ' leftovers ' for lunch
or maybe boyfriend is unable to figure out how the microwave at work is used ?

and he is unable to make a cheese or whatever sandwich at home to take with him for lunch at work...

where in hell did you get our ages from? you’re incorrect anyway.

OP posts:

Original poster

a222 · 06/08/2024 18:47

JJathome · 06/08/2024 18:01

Also how often are you really staying, it’s Tuesday, you’re going home wed. Were you there the weekend, have you been there 5 days or so?

sunday evening i arrived

OP posts:

Original poster

a222 · 06/08/2024 18:47

bouncybouncingboobies · 06/08/2024 17:43

Stop staying at his mums. Very few people want their kids partners moving in for a fair proportion of the week. When I felt I was in a serious relationship I moved in with my boyfriend. It was a long time ago, but I wonder when the idea of living in the family home as a couple happened? Did it happen in the 80s?

it’s not ideal i’m aware.

maybe it happened when the price of renting and just generally living went sky high.

OP posts:

Therealjudgejudy · 06/08/2024 18:07

All sounds quite juvinile

JJathome · 06/08/2024 18:01

Also how often are you really staying, it’s Tuesday, you’re going home wed. Were you there the weekend, have you been there 5 days or so?

bouncybouncingboobies · 06/08/2024 17:43

Stop staying at his mums. Very few people want their kids partners moving in for a fair proportion of the week. When I felt I was in a serious relationship I moved in with my boyfriend. It was a long time ago, but I wonder when the idea of living in the family home as a couple happened? Did it happen in the 80s?

JJathome · 06/08/2024 17:02

a222 · 06/08/2024 16:28

yes i live with my mum. i am saving for a deposit, i work but i just cannot afford to rent somewhere and actually live with the job im in currently (min wage).

i suppose i am upset as my bf job means he can work in various places in our county and when it is better for him to stay at mine for work my mum has let him for 6 weeks at a time for instance.

i feel like his mum really doesn’t like me, but im not sure why. like comments have said maybe i am just round too much recently. going home tomorrow morning.

I’m sure she does like you, it is more you’re spending so much time in her house. When you have your own 0lace you will understand it. You could be her favourite person ever , her best friend and she’d still not wish you staying in her home so much. That’s normal. You’re not entitled to be there.

quite frankly she wants you to fuck off so she can have her home to her and her family.

I also assume your boyfriend doesnf like staying with you due to it being in your mums home. He feels uncomfortable and knows how his mum feels about you being there.

it’s difficult . But you’re still not getting it, as you’re giving it I will go home tomorrow, rather than just going home today.

wutheringkites · 06/08/2024 16:49

I'm not sure why you're doing all the legwork here - having to go over and see him all the time AND contributing to bills/ cleaning someone else's house because he's more comfortable there?

Fuck that.

The normal set up would be that you both pay rent to your own parents and spend roughly the same amount of time at each other's houses.

Original poster

a222 · 06/08/2024 16:28

yes i live with my mum. i am saving for a deposit, i work but i just cannot afford to rent somewhere and actually live with the job im in currently (min wage).

i suppose i am upset as my bf job means he can work in various places in our county and when it is better for him to stay at mine for work my mum has let him for 6 weeks at a time for instance.

i feel like his mum really doesn’t like me, but im not sure why. like comments have said maybe i am just round too much recently. going home tomorrow morning.

OP posts:

DandyClocks · 06/08/2024 16:06

DO NOT DATE A MOODY FUCKER!

It won’t ever get any better and in a few years time you’ll regret those wasted years. Get out now, whilst you’ve no ties to him.

JJathome · 06/08/2024 16:02

Bumblebeestiltskin · 06/08/2024 15:58

Bit of a pointless relationship, no? If I were you, I'd stay at your own house and not bother with him at all.

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Because pound to a penny she doesn’t have her own house. She lives with her parents.

JJathome · 06/08/2024 16:01

Op, just be honest about your situation, you’re two young folks who live with their parents, there is no shame in it, plenty do. His mum doesn’t like the fact you staying there so much and she doesn’t wish you to contribute as that makes it feel like she’s happy with it. He eats more than he contributes hence why if you’ve gifted him food he doesn’t feel like he can say don’t eat it it’s mine, when he’s eating theirs.

Bumblebeestiltskin · 06/08/2024 15:58

a222 · 06/08/2024 13:48

also can i say that i’ve got my own house i can go to, that my boyfriend is very welcome at but he doesn’t like coming to mine for some reason he gets moody.

im constantly asking if it’s okay that im staying there and if his mum is okay with it and it’s all smiles but honestly i dont think she wants me there.

im not going to go as often anymore.

Bit of a pointless relationship, no? If I were you, I'd stay at your own house and not bother with him at all.

Goldcushions2 · 06/08/2024 15:55

Why are you with him if he is so moody?

Original poster

a222 · 06/08/2024 15:51

JJathome · 06/08/2024 15:19

Honestly I think he’s just a kid, whinging no food in for his lunch, neither have much money. He doesn’t wish to police the food in the house as he eats more than he contributes , likely so does the op. Hence why this is an issue for the lad.

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he may well eat more than he contributes, hence why i was trying to do a nice thing and buy extra food for him.

i buy my own food when i am here, so i don’t think that’s fair to say.

OP posts:

Devilsmommy · 06/08/2024 15:32

TheSerenePinkOrca · 06/08/2024 14:30

OMG you're dating a mummy's boy!

He gets moody when he has to stay away from his mummy and sides with his mum's boyfriend over a joke about food when you were trying to be nice?!?!

RUN AWAAAAAAY!!

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This all the way🤣

JJathome · 06/08/2024 15:19

TomatoSandwiches · 06/08/2024 15:02

Sounds like you'd be better off dumping him op, you tried to do a nice thing for him because you paid attention to his griping and he managed to turn it round on you!

He can make his own fucking lunch.

Honestly I think he’s just a kid, whinging no food in for his lunch, neither have much money. He doesn’t wish to police the food in the house as he eats more than he contributes , likely so does the op. Hence why this is an issue for the lad.

TomatoSandwiches · 06/08/2024 15:02

Sounds like you'd be better off dumping him op, you tried to do a nice thing for him because you paid attention to his griping and he managed to turn it round on you!

He can make his own fucking lunch.