To wonder why our value is defined by money?

"Everyone's value" !?
Says who?
I think this is more a reflection on the way you view your life and the people you mix with. Among all of our family and friends I can only think of one person that seems to think like this - they are very money oriented, talk about money all the time and name drop the people they know with money, etc.That's far from everyone - it's a tiny minority.

It's measured that way in a capitalist society. But lots of people don't value wealth alone. For example, I'd rather a kind and wonderful partner than one with crazy wrath who was abusive.

@Abigail47
You are being so naive.

I find a focus on wealth/income/money to be shallow and dull. I'm really not bothered about, or interested in hearing about, other people's investments, cost of their home renovations or their financial planning but some people do love to share
So you don't even want to talk about the things that interest them. So why do you think they would be interested in things that interest you?

If your hobbies are horse riding and lacrosse and your last trip took you to the Maldives then how are you going to be conversing with someone who enjoys doing something you dint enjoy and holidays at Butlins.
It's NORMAL to get on with people similar to yourself. You have yourself admitted to not funding rich people interesting if even nice. Maybe they feel the same way about you?

I agree with pp. It’s because if you have friends with large income disparities, it can very quickly become awkward for everyone.

I’ve seen many threads on here about it.

You also tend to move in circles with people who are at a similar income level to you.

I don't believe that all.
I had/ Have friends of different wealths.
At School l used to think those who live in " their own houses" Not council houses were rich and owned them.. but then realised 99% were rented.
I still have friends from school... one became a millionaire by hard work.. but she's the most lovely friend and never boasts.
( I'm now a millionaire but not by choice.. by compensation) l haven't changed.. except for buying a better house and one each for my daughters).. I'm still treat the same and act the same.
I just mainly pay private more for my health.

@Abigail47

And the richer people are usually the cruellest ones. They look down on and leave out the poorer more unfortunate people
I wouldn't call the rioters rich

It wasn't like that at my school. Friendships were based on people being like minded. Same for my dc. None of my friendships have been based on money so it's not something I think about.

I think that the older we get the more we realise that actually money isn’t the right measure, but it takes people a while to get to this view. Often the people I like and respect most don’t have loads of money but bring a huge amount of value to the lives of others. They are hardworking, kind, humble and helpful.

You really don't know this story is true though. DS's class has 3 single mothers, none of whom earn a great deal. 1 is a friend, 1 is sweet to chat to by the gates, and then the last 1 I smile politely or avoid where possible because she's thoroughly unpleasant. I'm sure she'd tell you she's nothing but charm and not realise many of us have heard her comments to her mum/ mates in the past, because she's so self-absorbed she doesn't notice others.

People often hang out with those they already know, and that reinforces over the years. The rich girls may have parents who are close, or have met up on holidays, so they are just closer. I have friends of all different wealth levels; similarity of wealth does happen more often but it doesn't always hold true. I don't know why it worries you so much though, even if it was a fixed rule there would be more people with lower wealth who you could be mates with, so why the angst and not just be friends with those you fit best with?

Where did I say I wouldn't hang around with anyone?

I said it was easier, and it makes sense for people to be with similar for all the reasons I gave.

What's shocking is pretending you could discuss how excited you are to go to xyz exhibition of your favourite artist in New York or Paris when your friend relies on food bank. I am not saying you can't be friends, but there are a lot of things you cannot do together.

Of course money matters. If nothing else, it's freedom and it makes everything easier.

People with money don’t want to lose it or the advantages it gives so they stick together.

The easy answer is capitalism. It’s observable, measurable and everyone can be easily ranked.

The real answer is no, that’s not really true. King Charles has more money than the population of a town, but is he worth more as a person than all those people? No, he isn’t. He’s just a bloke who was born into a particular family.

What makes a person successful or valuable depends on your personal values. I know people much better off and much worse off financially, and I don’t rank them as successes based on that. I’m sure they don’t do so either.

As for socialising - it’s certainly easier to stick to the same financial stratum because you can afford the same leisure activities and lifestyle. You probably live in similar areas or work in similar fields so have overlapping acquaintances and experiences. But it’s no more important than that.

A rich girl who loves painting and art has that in common with a poor girl who loves painting and art.

she does
but she can go travelling and visit any museum in the world
she can purchase expensive art
she has access to any expensive art supplies she wants
she can take expensive art classes

and the list goes on. The other one cannot.

So yes, of course you can have shared interests with anyone, but what would be cruel would be forgetting that the other one has very limited resources. 2 rich girls who love painting and art have a much easier relationship.

Yes, capitalism.

All that matters is money; how much you have; how much you make; the trappings of wealth. To some.

It's not how I value my own worth nor anyone else's.

I find a focus on wealth/income/money to be shallow and dull. I'm really not bothered about, or interested in hearing about, other people's investments, cost of their home renovations or their financial planning but some people do love to share!

Of course, there are those who don't share what they earn etc. Their money is not the most interesting thing about them and they know that. People who don't measure their or anyone else's worth/value by money (whatever their personal financial situation) are so much nicer.

Whilst it is not a personal experience of mine it’s probably partly a case of birds of a feather.

You are confusing 2 different things:

The rich girls would only hang around with the othe rich girls.
It makes sense to spend time with similar people. Most of us do have friends from all kind of backgrounds, that's true, but its a different relationship when you have to be careful about what you say, and when you can discuss holidays or any expense freely because you are on similar financial levels.

If your dad was wealthy , you were popular.
because people consider that success is measured by wealth?

Capitalism...
It's often easier to mix with people of a similar economic level. Someone poor wouldn't be able to do things that cost a lot of money so move in different circles.

If you're struggling to put food on the table then you're not out socialising or doing hobbies that people more affluent are.

Poorer children get less opportunities than rich children. Thus can mean differences in confidence which affects socialising.

Perhaps you've tried too hard to 'get in' with the rich crowd because you feel worth is tied to money?