To find this H comment annoying

He’s a cunt

God, there seems to be a never ending supply of stupid, offensive husbands who cover their twattery with ‘it’s a joke’.

“And this is the 700th time you’ve been a nasty little jerk today, twat”.

He sounds vile.

If you had an adult daughter with a partner talking to her like this, how would you feel OP?

It's only a joke if everyone is laughing. Prick.

Your husband is an arsehole.

I discovered recently that some men are so insecure that they make a choice to constantly neg their long term partners to stop them being confident enough to leave and find someone better.

It's not a joke if he's the only one who's finding it funny. I'd tell him he stops immediately or leaves. I know some on Mumsnet find LTB offered as a solution far too often but in this instance you have told him to stop and he has ignored you. Are you meant to put up with this forever?

Is this new behaviour or has he always tended to this sort of thing?

You have a high-pressure job - does he? Who earns the most?

Sounds like he’s trying to take you down a peg or two tbh.

i would just reply every time 'oh its the 356th time husband has made a stupid comment today' every single time

It's because you're so capable and doing so much that he wants to bring you down. Horrible horrible behaviour from him. You've told him it's not funny and he keeps doing it, it's not an accident, it's a deliberate move to bring you down at this point.

As others have said, I think I'd be saying "and there we have the 568th time Jim has been an unkind/unsupportive/unloving/mean/disrespectful husband today".

Loving?
He sounds like a deeply unfunny, unpleasant twat.

I got comments like that way back at the beginning of our relationship. It didn't last long. I challenged it straight away.

Taking your example OP:

H: And there's the 355th way fanny has fucked up today...
F: What do you mean?
H: You left the milk out
F: I fucked up by leaving the milk out?
H: Yes, you're always... Blah blah blah
F: So you're saying I fucked up because I left the milk out? Do you realise how stupid that sounds?
H: It's just a joke
F: Am I laughing?
H: It's just a joke, you're too sensitive
F: Nope, no joke here. I'm not fucking laughing nor are you fucking funny so I will ask you again, and I'm absolutely serious, do not say this shit to me ever again.
H: Grumble grumble sensitive, joke, blah
F: Do you understand what I've asked you to do? It's fucking annoying and I will not put up with it. Thank you, I appreciate you respecting me and my wishes.

It took a couple of times because it was like a bad habit he got into but he got it and hasn't said shit like that again.

Yeah just kick him square in the gentlemen’s department every time he says it, obviously tell him it was just a joke! But anyway if he loves you, he should want to stop doing something you hate, tell him he has maybe 5 chances to stop or your through, count down each time, 4,3,2,1, then start to leave him, as if he hasn’t stopped something that’s hurtful, he doesn’t care, and leaving is not a ‘joke’.

He's a childish twat. When you say "it's him that needs reminders of everything" would there be negative consequences for him if you stopped issuing these reminders, if so I'd be very tempted to let it happen.

You are right.
My husband and I don't even take that much piss out of each other.
He is significantly older and more I read about these twats, more grateful I am for the way he is.

Yeah I’d take the joke out of it. Certainly don’t do it after sex, as funny as that idea is, because you shouldn’t be having sex with someone who doesn’t respect you.

You’ve told him you don’t like it, short of leaving him, all you can do is a scathing put down each time he says it.

“don’t you ever get bored of saying that same line? I’m certainly bored of hearing it” or something.

My partner and I take the piss out of each other all the time, but in an affectionate way that we both laugh at. What you're describing just isn't like that, is it? It's just sneering and nasty. It's not an affectionate joke at all.

Also, even if it was a joke, nobody needs to hear the same shit joke over and over again. Your husband sounds incredibly tedious and annoying.

'don't you mean that's the 365th time you've intentionally belittled me to my face this year darling?'

Tell him to fuck off 😡 I bet he wouldn't dream of 'joking' like that with a friend or work colleague. He's just enjoying putting you down.

Is this your only issue with him or is there more?
it sounds really mean and thoughtless

That's not a joke. That's repeatedly and deliberately demeaning you.

If my husband spoke to me like that, just once, he's be out the door.

Why on earth are you tolerating his nasty comments?

It’s a totally shitty thing to do. He sounds pretty horrible.

Vicious 😂 that’s brilliant!

Mimic him exactly on all of his minor fuck-ups and forgetfulness. Make sure to do the same “chuckle to yourself” jovial delivery. Commit to it the way he has instead of developing a personality or respecting his wife over overusing what was probably his go-to schtick in primary school.

I would hate this

Fighting fire with fire creates an inferno. I would suggest more of a "do that once more and we are over" scenario.