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AIBU?

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Original poster

To find this H comment annoying

966 replies

Ginge88 · 06/08/2024 09:48

If I forget something or use the wrong plug or something, DH says loudly

"And the 356th way Ginge has fucked up today is...."

Or whatever number is in his head. Frustrating thing is I actually don't mess up things v much and it's him that needs reminders of everything

But yes if he notices says the milk is left out or something il hear him say "and Ginge succeeds in fucking up for the 455th time this week" and chuckling to himself

I've told him to stop. He tells me it's a joke. He does now do it less but he clearly thinks I'm being totally over sensitive

Am I?

OP posts:
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DearDenimEagle · 19/07/2025 22:12

Thinking of you, OP

PinotPony · 16/07/2025 12:39

Hope you’re ok@Ginge88Still rooting for you to break free. x

mildlydispeptic · 13/07/2025 10:01

Thinking of you, Ginge, hope you’re doing ok.

thepariscrimefiles · 16/06/2025 09:27

Fannyfiggs · 16/06/2025 09:22

If he needs time to himself why doesn't he just fuck off. He'd have all the time to himself. Self absorbed wanker 🙄

Because that is what OP wants. He wants OP to suffer and he knows that refusing to leave and using the children as pawns is greatly upsetting OP, and that makes him very happy. He is a sociopathic cunt.

Fannyfiggs · 16/06/2025 09:22

If he needs time to himself why doesn't he just fuck off. He'd have all the time to himself. Self absorbed wanker 🙄

2022NewTimes · 13/06/2025 12:38

@Ginge88 - I know its hard to leave. I planned to leave and it took me three years. I had to move out with the kids as he would not leave the family home. Is this something thats possible for you ? Life is amazing without exH - he will drag you down and he will never change.....

welshmercury · 13/06/2025 00:09

You are not responsible for other people’s decisions. Speak to the GP yourself and say how you are struggling to support as they might refer you to support groups where you can hang out with people who just get it.

f

Goldcushions2 · 12/06/2025 22:16

Logging with 101 that you are afraid for your life and that of your children after years of abuse, coercive control, emotional abuse of the children.
Use this thread as a diary, is your best chance.
Ask to make a statement that you are terrified of him, what he is capable of to you and your children.

DearDenimEagle · 12/06/2025 20:26

And he knows it works on you. You just caved so he will use it again

DearDenimEagle · 12/06/2025 20:21

Ginge88 · 12/06/2025 19:57

Ive told him to speak to a doctor. He's taken himself to bed with a diet coke, sweets and his laptop while i get the kids in bed. He said "I just need to have some time to myself". Im documenting it all.

Telling him to see a doctor hasn’t helped you get rid of him. He sees this as you caring and staying. You should have called for help so it was documented by health workers and logged . You have to be proactive and get evidence

MadnessIsMyMiddleName · 12/06/2025 20:02

Can you record him doing it next time OP? It may not be useable in court or anything, but just having proof of his play acting could come in handy.

Original poster
Ginge88 · 12/06/2025 19:57

Ive told him to speak to a doctor. He's taken himself to bed with a diet coke, sweets and his laptop while i get the kids in bed. He said "I just need to have some time to myself". Im documenting it all.

OP posts:
PinkArt · 12/06/2025 18:56

SeamsLegit · 12/06/2025 17:43

Ring for mental health support, tell them a grown man in lying on the floor crying and you are afraid for both you and your children. Do it now. Don't tell him you going to, just do it

This, use his ridiculous play acting against him. I'd have full sympathy for anyone who is genuinely suicidal, but as a PP said, people with actual suicidal ideation don't tend to announce it and certainly not as a threat.

mildlydispeptic · 12/06/2025 18:40

Yes, I think having some kind of record could help with the custody negotiation. Not good for the kids to be seeing this.

hopeishere · 12/06/2025 18:31

Is he likely to jump off the floor and say you were lying?

Sunshineafterthehail · 12/06/2025 18:13

Speak to the GP surgery and beg for a home call out appointment.. Get it on record he isn't mentally well.

MinnieGirl · 12/06/2025 18:04

SeamsLegit · 12/06/2025 17:43

Ring for mental health support, tell them a grown man in lying on the floor crying and you are afraid for both you and your children. Do it now. Don't tell him you going to, just do it

That’s a great call… and it would be documented….

SeamsLegit · 12/06/2025 17:44

I would call 111

SeamsLegit · 12/06/2025 17:43

Ring for mental health support, tell them a grown man in lying on the floor crying and you are afraid for both you and your children. Do it now. Don't tell him you going to, just do it

Original poster
Ginge88 · 12/06/2025 17:39

Hes come home and is pretend crying. He started cooking dinner and then lay on the floor. I feel like im in a bad soap opera. I've got this though. I can't tell you how much I dislike him. Im going. I am.

OP posts:
MinnieGirl · 12/06/2025 13:52

Ginge88 · 12/06/2025 08:56

I don't think he's making it up. This happened with the last job. Starts to talk about bosses being against him, making things up (missed deadlines), he's being bullied, 'managed out' etc. But he is the problem. He is dislikeable - entitled - uninterested in other people. I've been keeping out of his way and he's just messaged to say he can't believe how cold and heartless i am.

oh just as i was writing this message - got another message "I cannot survive the day".

Dear god.

I know I can't put up with it.

There is surely no chance of him being SAHD - the kids are at school - i don't earn enough to pay him maintance - he should work and if he really really can't because his MH is too awful - then surely he wouldn't be seen safe enough to look after DC full time? i mean he's flailing around, talking to himself, saying he can't survive the day. I've told him he needs to get help. I've said that for years and he never has and i know never will.

Tell him he needs to see his GP if he’s feeling like that. Don’t leave the kids with him at all and ake urgent plans to get out…

Verv · 12/06/2025 12:31

Ive just read through your posts on this thread @Ginge88
You've done so well.
If you read your own posts through in order you can literally plot the tide turning from you being quietly abused, to finding your anger, and the cowards subsequent meltdowns when the penny drops that his game is over.

His job isn't your responsibility, your wellbeing has never been his.
Grey rock, get out, and i guarantee that a couple of years from now the knot in your chest will be a distant memory. Youve got this x

Goldcushions2 · 12/06/2025 12:26

I would also say that he has abused you for years, made previous threats and that you fear he might hurt you and the children.

Please don't allow your hesitation to cost your dearly.
This is only going one way.
Reach out for support.
He's not your responsibility.

DearDenimEagle · 12/06/2025 12:21

Mine threatened to kill himself, some day..said he’d use the Bentley…carbon monoxide.
It’s been in a big shed for 7 years. I told him to make sure he left the electric gates open that day, and put the trickle charger on it and get some petrol now because it would be a real let down for him if his master plan for attention collapsed because of a flat battery and lack of fuel on the day, and no one could get in to hear the engine running.

Honestly, genuine suicides rarely advertise it. It’s always a shock to the family and friends, so I wasn’t being heartless. I was letting him know I could see through him. He wrote back, ‘you’re funny’ .

mildlydispeptic · 12/06/2025 12:08

Presumably “can’t survive the day” is going to turn into full blown suicide threats if you try to distance yourself further, OP. That seems to be the pattern.

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