Someone’s been in my bedroom

YABU because you are very naive.

It's a well known fact that a lot of men and women are nosey snoopers.

Just because you're not, why would you judge people by your own standards?

Why on earth didn't you make the effort to hide your personal/private belongings?

Fot the record, I'm not a snooper. I'm simply not interested in other people's stuff and never would do that, also out of respect for them.

When I win the lottery (Tuesday hopefully) and plan my move to my big new house in the country[1], my knicker draw is the only bit I'm packing and taking myself.
Norra chance I'm having anyone root through that even if it is for packing.

[1] https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/86902353#/
Is this weeks preference, but I pick a new one nearly ever week.

I suppose you could ask the neighbour who fed the cat, say a colleague saw a man going into your house and see what she says. If she says ‘no it was me’ then you can just say colleague must have go the house wrong, you hope, ha ha. If she says it was the husband then it light have been him. Ugh.

My parents are going away for a month next week and have asked me to water the plants, take the post from behind the door etc. I haven't done this before as my brother was always there. He died unexpectedly this year and I agreed that I'd check the house for them. Anyway dm then said she hoped I wouldn't rummage! It actually upset me as I don't think I've given her call to expect me to do that. And she keeps saying how much she trusts me, we've got no secrets everything is yours ( I'm an only child now) etc.

I reluctantly fed my friend's cats whilst she was away - I'm not really into cats - and she had 5! Anyway they all looked pretty similar to me and it was a one bed flat. The cats were house cats and were meant to be in the lounge or kitchen. The door to the bedroom was closed. It was difficult to keep count of them as they liked to hide. After a couple of days I realised there were only 4! I looked everywhere and then decided to open the bedroom door. The room was a total mess and I've never seen a cat move so fast. She asked me again last week and I said no!

You'd rather it was a chimp OP? You haven't read Murders in the Rue Morgue, have you?!

If it was him, it sounds more like it was opportunistic and nosey, rather than ongoing long term behaviour. He had an "excuse" for being there in a way, which he wouldn't normally have.

I think if you take precautions and keep a weather eye out, there is little chance of it happening again. And more chance of you catching any untoward behaviour because your suspicions are roused.

So having done that, horrid as it has been, I think the feeling will go away after a while.

I’m more concerned about your financial paperwork as that will have account numbers on etc. sign up to credit check agencies to check nothing has been taken out in your name.

close your bedroom door so the cat won’t gum have gone in there. We close all the doors when we go away so cat has access to outside and her sleeping area.

you don’t have to install cameras permanently but you can get one of those nanny cam bears and position it to have a good view of the room. If it’s motion activated then you would get an alert. Some you can talk through so you could say something like
aren’t you a naughty boy
or god is watching you
wait til their hand is in the drawer 😂

then you can just take the batteries out of camera when you don’t need it.

Text neighbour to say that there was a break-in whilst you were away - bedroom disturbed etc but should be fingerprints- and you are reporting it to the Police and is it ok if you pass on their details to eliminate them from their enquiry. See what they say.

OP are your desk drawers and knicker drawer ikea malm style opening? Our cat has worked out how to open drawers by putting her paws on the top of the drawer and scooting her body backwards. We couldn’t understand how drawers kept opening from time to time until we saw the cat in action! It got to the stage of us thinking someone had been into a room etc. No it was the cat! We actually have two cats and only one is clever enough to open drawers, but she only chooses to do it very occasionally. Cats also hop up on our desk and move papers and pens etc, when they are walking across it.

I would probably get over the intimate stuff, and maybe even photos eventually.

But the biggest concern would be that he's rifled through your financial paperwork and maybe you need to talk to your bank or whoever to see if you can change or secure your accounts or put a flag on any attempt of fraud.

So whatever paperwork he may have looked at (or taken photos of!) gets changed or is secured. Change your locks as well, he could have easily made a copy. Lock your internal doors to the bedroom if you are away from now on with the windows shut so you know the cat can't get in.

A Hard Stare at him every fucking time you bump into him and never ask them to feed the cat again.

I would also change my locks if I were you. No guarantee that he has not made any copies of the keys

Just another thought , they have children? Is there any chance it was a child that came with them?

Sorry if I've missed this but are you going to change the lock to the door that your neighbour has a key for?

Rather than ask for the key back as the neighbours husband could have duplicated it

What do they do at weekends when people are in? or when people are on annual leave from work for a week or two?

I'm sure it has happened in the past (almost every weird thing has) but its astonishingly rare and not something people should be concerned about in their daily life

Well you strongly implied that it was a possibility that it could happen to people who went out to work.

I suppose if they were all deaf or the person never moved when they were in and they had a loft that only locked from the inside and the person was able to source food and essentials without ever leaving the house and never leaving the slightest clue that they were there during the day there's a tiny chance it might haopen

A suspected person in a school which according to your article was never proved isn't quite the same thing

I didn’t say it happened. I said that’s what the term phrogging refers to.

See the post I linked to earlier where it happened in a school in the U.K.

I would quietly say to the husband "I saw you helped with the cat on the internal cameras" and then give a hard stare. His face will say it all!

I'd be amazed if the number of actual people living in someone's left in England can't be counted on the fingers of one hand

It's obviously not something that actually happens

I’m pleased you have got to the bottom of it OP. If it makes you feel any better (didn’t make ne feel better though) l once had 2 pairs of knickers disappear from a bedside drawer in a quite expensive hotel.

I also left a waterproof vibey on the bathside when some unexpected guests came. And they used the bathroom!

My landlord cocked up the annual gas inspection and told me it HAD to be done one the one day I couldn’t be there or he’d be breaking the law letting me live there. Reluctantly agreed his wife could be there for inspection. Came home to find a drawer I never used left open. No doubt she had a good look through all of them. Creepy bitch.

They wait until you go out. Think about it. If you are a household where everyone works outside the home then there will be a chunk of the day where everyone is out, often for a long time and at a regular time.