What's more rude - interrupting a reader OR ignoring an interrupter?

I'm going to rename my sitting room the library to make clear that I'm not interested in chat.

I guess this varies for others but I'm perfectly capable of sitting somewhere other than a sofa.

never felt the need to read a book in the living room and expect to be left alone.

But that’s where the sofa is.

See I really love reading but I've never felt the need to read a book in the living room and expect to be left alone. I'd go somewhere more private if I really didn't want to be disturbed or I'd use the living room or kitchen if I was up for a break and a chat. This hasn't stopped me being able to enjoy books at all.

Yanbu! My OH is not a reader and I am, he thinks when I’m reading in peace I’m fair game for any conversation he feels like having and I’m the rude for not immediately putting down my book. Drives me mad!

the what are you doing? with a book in front of me???

Me : A reader, always a book on the go. Been like it since I could read. Hours spent in the local library as a kid.
Gran : Not interested in reading in the slightest, apart from an occasional Take A Break mag.
Gran : Always pissed off that I did "too much reading, it's just bloody rude!"
Me : Asked her what else she'd prefer me to be doing
Gran : You should sit down and watch telly with us
Me : but I'm a kid/teen/20-something, I don't watch your kind of programmes. I'm just not interested in snooker, gardeners world, antiques roadshow (or whatever)
Nan : Well, you should, because it's what we're watching and you're just bloody rude otherwise. God I hate 'book people', you're all so selfish and ignorant!

I loved my Nan, and she loved me. We generally had a great relationship. But from being a young kid I'd often hear her complaining about me having "her head stuck in another bloody book again and ignoring us all!"

She really couldn't grasp why some people enjoyed reading and made such a fuss about how they were all.ignoramuses. It used to drive me nuts, so I started taking myself off to another room to read in peace, instead of her constantly trying to interupt me. And that just infuriated her more because I was then being twice as ignorant! 😆

Have to tell my husband ALL THE TIME I’m reading and I’ll be with him shortly 🤬

God my DH does this to me all the time and it's so annoying! He's not a reader - so maybe feels that as you can put a book down (unlike a film you're watching maybe) - it's OK. But actually he does it when I'm watching TV too, although none of us are allowed to interrupt his crappy programs during the many hours he spends stuck in his chair.......

If the person says 'sorry to interrupt - do you know where my keys are?' - then fine.

If they say 'aargh, I'm late for my appointment and can't find my keys - any idea?' - then fine.

But if it's just chit chat then it's rude. But the reader should do more than Hmmm. I just say - 'I'm engrossed in this right now, we can discuss your pension/cat/new shirt tomorrow'.

Interrupter is definitely rude though.

If I’m reading, I in no way want to talk to you unless it’s VERY important. Anyone who interrupts that is being very UR

I’m an avid reader but I can’t do it often because I do get so engrossed that I literally do not hear anything that is being said to me whilst I am reading. It’s like having headphones on. But trying to get others to believe that is hard!

Totally agree. No reason to prioritise human interaction over non interaction.
Non interaction is a negative way to frame 'doing stuff more interesting than pointless chattering'

If the interrupter must interrupt they could ask if now is a good time? That gives the reader the opportunity to say no. But then they have already been interrupted!

If the reader has otherwise been engaged socially at an earlier time, the interrupter is the rude one. They are forcing themselves into someone else's relaxation and downtime. I get wanting to share with the one's you love, but some people need to understand that not everyone needs or wants the same amount of interactions as them.
You can't interrupt someone for no reason-which is rude- and then accuse them of being rude for not catering to you when you are interjecting yourself unbidden into their private time.
And kudos to her for holding her ground. This may seem slight, but it is a small bit of manipulation on his part to try and make it seem like she is in the wrong. Ask him if he would like her lover/partner to be able to interrupt her in her activities and then claim that she is being rude for not putting up with it?

Oh definitely the interrupter. I love to read. I don't watch much tv, no one else in my house understands it, they think I'm just doing nothing and therefore available and willing to listen to them.
Dh will start to watch something and then ask me 20 times to "just look at this bit" dc will charge in and talk and ask questions and make it impossible to concentrate.
I just want to read.

This drives me mad! The interrupter was being incredibly rude!

@BadNeighbour101

somewhere private.. like their OWN HOUSE

I think under the sink seems the best idea.

I voted YABU not because I'm an interpreter, but because I'm the only reader in this house and if one of my kids came in and spoke to me while I was reading I wouldn't mind.

I'd either keep reading and listen at the same time or just look up for a minute, it's not like you're going to miss something.

It would be a bit irritating if it was constant though.

somewhere private.. like their OWN HOUSE? 😂

Think it’s probably people who didn’t grow up in an environment where reading was seen as important and/or something one could/would enjoy doing for fun so shouldn’t be bothered without asking.

My parents both read as do my sister and I. It was normal for us to be in different parts of the house reading a book. Our parents would look into our rooms, see us reading a book and would leave us to it and interrupt if they needed us to do something or they were heading out. I would see my mom reading in the bedroom, my dad in the living room or the basement depending on the weather, and my sister in her room. It was being respectful of and understanding each other’s time and that we were all doing something we enjoyed and there was no need to mindlessly interrupt unless necessary. If we had questions or needed help with something, we would knock and/or say “excuse me” and say what we needed.

So if someone was reading a book on their tablet, you wouldn’t find the interrupter rude?

Strangely I would find the interrupter rude if someone was reading a proper book
However would feel the opposite with a magazine/tablet/phone.

I often have my nose in a book so I am used to being interrupted. If I am at a really good part, I will try to find a quiet spot in the house, even if I have to lie on my bed.

This thread did make me think about a difference in parenting between my husband and I though. When my kids were little they would frequently run into the living room and start talking to us while we were watching tv or focussing on something like reading. My husband would get irritated and refuse to listen to them if he was busy but I always stopped what I was doing and listened to them. 95% of the time it was rambling and something I was not interested in at all. By the time they were teenagers, they continued to interrupt me but they no longer tried telling my husband anything, ever.

I think most people would say children need to learn boundaries and they should respect your time, etc. but in my experience, if you don't make yourself available to listen to all the trivial shit kids want to tell you as they are growing up, eventually they won't even try to tell you the really important shit.

Depends. Would the same deference be shown to gaming? Or watching a film? Or reading something on a phone/tablet?