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AIBU?

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Original poster

Does throwing and paying for a party count as a gift?

35 replies

Friyay27 · 05/08/2024 21:52

A friend and I are throwing another friend a baby shower, we've organised everything paid for food, decorations and drinks.
AIBU to think this doesn't count as a gift, friend thinks it does, I just don't want to appear mean, nor do I want to make my friend fell bad if I get a gift and she doesn't
(Yes I know about the general dislike for baby showers in general, but here we are)

OP posts:
LoremIpsumCici · 06/08/2024 10:53

No, it doesn’t count as a gift. Usually a group will pool their money to throw the party while one or two members organise it. Then eveyone in the group brings a gift for mum to be.

So if 20 friends, the cost of party is split between all, and all 20 also bring a gift.

Rosemarysprinkle · 06/08/2024 10:49

If my friends did this for me there wouldn’t be an ounce of me that would expect a gift as well. In fact I would think if you organised and paid for my party and then bought me a gift I’d be worried you’d spent / done too much!

NeverEnoughPants · 06/08/2024 10:49

It absolutely does imo. There is no way I would be expecting a gift from someone that organised and paid for my baby shower. I'm surprised that seems like the minority view.

Runningfun · 06/08/2024 10:48

I would count it as a gift and certainly wouldn't want my friends buying me something separately if they'd gone to all that trouble and expense.

JMSA · 06/08/2024 10:48

It was an incredibly kind and generous gesture!
However I think I'd get a token 20 quid gift on top.

BadNeighbour101 · 06/08/2024 10:46

I am not sure why, but no, it doesn't count as a "gift". I would give at least a small token item.

mouseyowl · 06/08/2024 10:43

Even though it's much more thoughtful, hard work, stressful, time consuming and expensive to throw a party, no, I don't think it counts as a 'gift'. Bonkers I agree!

coldcallerbaiter · 05/08/2024 22:41

I think it does count, even more than a present gift too. All the things you pay for are in lieu of gifts and very generous too.

Original poster
Friyay27 · 05/08/2024 22:38

Yeah, I'm so unsure as to what to do.

OP posts:
SplitSecondd · 05/08/2024 22:01

No I don't think it does. It's a separate choice to throw a party. However, absolutely no one ever should frown upon someone who threw a party but didn't buy a gift.

Get ready for the comments about how disgusting baby showers are even though that's not what you asked....MNers are so weird about them 🤣

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