Page 2 | To think this is a REALLY weird thing to say?

Sheabutter19 · 2024-08-05T17:19:01+00:00

My DD(4) and I were round at my grandads house. She took off her jacket and was doing around and he said ‘oh strip tease’ and laughed. AIBU to think this is really weird to say about a 4 year old GGD?

EG94 · 05/08/2024 19:46

If you think there is no memory decline or anything else at play. Have a word and remind him this is not appropriate to be saying to or around a four year old.

i remember my great grandad asking my 7 year old cousin if she was going to be a call girl when she was older. My cousin, what’s a call girl? My aunt quickly interjected put both thumbs up and said a cool girl. 😂😂 I don’t know wtf went through his mind.

he always had a little rhyme that for years he didn’t get to finish. Mary had a little lamb, she also had a duck. Mary couldn’t leave them alone as all they’d do is “GRANDAD NO” 😂😂😂

Cantrushart · 05/08/2024 19:45

FIL talks about my DD getting 'tarted up'. 😬

PiIIock · 05/08/2024 19:39

Newsenmum · 05/08/2024 18:56

Another one is “ooh the boys/girls will all be in love with him/her” and “what a heartbreaker, keep the boys/girls away” 🤮

I feel like these are two entirely different kinds of comments.

Agree with others that this sounds like thoughtless sarcasm. Also interesting to hear about cartoons, because that's how it feel to me. I really doesn't sound like it was a sexual comment, but this MN so everything needs to catastrophised. Has anyone suggested going NC yet?

5128gap · 05/08/2024 19:33

ComtesseDeSpair · 05/08/2024 19:29

Another one whose family have always done this!

There are strip tease scenes in a lot of older cartoons popular with children decades ago such as Micky Mouse, Tom and Jerry, Daffy Duck etc. What people thought was suitable to do and say and show around children has changed enormously since your grandfather was young.

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Yeah, my family too.

ComtesseDeSpair · 05/08/2024 19:29

BeyondMyWits · 05/08/2024 18:42

Probably generational, a bit of a laugh - you really don't think he was expecting a full burlesque act from a 4 year old?
My mum, dad, aunties, uncles, whoever would always do the "ta, da, da...de,da,da,da." music whenever anyone took off so much as a scarf.

Another one whose family have always done this!

There are strip tease scenes in a lot of older cartoons popular with children decades ago such as Micky Mouse, Tom and Jerry, Daffy Duck etc. What people thought was suitable to do and say and show around children has changed enormously since your grandfather was young.

Newsenmum · 05/08/2024 19:02

Justcallmebebes · 05/08/2024 18:57

It really doesn't! That is going too far

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BUT there will be the odd one who will start saying things like that to lure you in. It’s up to op to know.

Justcallmebebes · 05/08/2024 18:57

Couldyounot · 05/08/2024 18:54

Sounds quite noncey, doesn't it

It really doesn't! That is going too far

Newsenmum · 05/08/2024 18:57

whoputallofthatthere · 05/08/2024 18:54

Yep, my family did this too!
Without knowing the person who said it none of us can really say however it sounds like just one of those thoughtless, clumsy comments people make sometimes. My dad is famous for them but he doesn't mean any harm, he just doesn't think.

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Same!

Newsenmum · 05/08/2024 18:56

Another one is “ooh the boys/girls will all be in love with him/her” and “what a heartbreaker, keep the boys/girls away” 🤮

whoputallofthatthere · 05/08/2024 18:54

BeyondMyWits · 05/08/2024 18:42

Probably generational, a bit of a laugh - you really don't think he was expecting a full burlesque act from a 4 year old?
My mum, dad, aunties, uncles, whoever would always do the "ta, da, da...de,da,da,da." music whenever anyone took off so much as a scarf.

Yep, my family did this too!
Without knowing the person who said it none of us can really say however it sounds like just one of those thoughtless, clumsy comments people make sometimes. My dad is famous for them but he doesn't mean any harm, he just doesn't think.

Newsenmum · 05/08/2024 18:54

They’d also go in about them ‘flirting’ like it was cute. Not appropriate in today’s age I agree.

Couldyounot · 05/08/2024 18:54

Sounds quite noncey, doesn't it

Ponkpinkpink15 · 05/08/2024 18:53

Sheabutter19 · 05/08/2024 18:37

Thanks. He is 82. Generally well overall apart from a few physical general older age issues, no signs of memory decline or anything like that

@Sheabutter19

its doesn't mean anything, he's just messing around. I'm 55, when
I was a child it was perfectly normal to say this, and da da dum the music.

times have changed and everything is so 'serious' now. Don't judge him by todays 'norms' you will not want to be judged by the 'norm' of the day when you're in your 80s and won't see things you say today as 'terrible'. You might not think it now, but in 50 years time these norms are going to be just as outdated.

Newsenmum · 05/08/2024 18:53

The kind of thing my mum would say. Like dancing around the pole like a ‘pole dancer’. Meant in an innocent and ridiculous way, unless you think it wasn’t? Only you can be the judge of it.

WorriedMama12 · 05/08/2024 18:50

Bouliegirl · 05/08/2024 18:47

Yes!!! My family did that too. And “penny a skelp”.

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I forgot about penny a skelp 🤣 We used to go around the playground in primary school with a friend over our shoulder, their bum in the air, saying "penny a skelp" and the person would get a skelp on the backside 🤣

WorriedMama12 · 05/08/2024 18:48

I really wouldn't take it in a dirty way. It sounds like more of a 'haha we're getting a striptease' sarcastic kind of comment. Unless you have other concerns?

Bouliegirl · 05/08/2024 18:47

BeyondMyWits · 05/08/2024 18:42

Probably generational, a bit of a laugh - you really don't think he was expecting a full burlesque act from a 4 year old?
My mum, dad, aunties, uncles, whoever would always do the "ta, da, da...de,da,da,da." music whenever anyone took off so much as a scarf.

Yes!!! My family did that too. And “penny a skelp”.

BeyondMyWits · 05/08/2024 18:42

Probably generational, a bit of a laugh - you really don't think he was expecting a full burlesque act from a 4 year old?
My mum, dad, aunties, uncles, whoever would always do the "ta, da, da...de,da,da,da." music whenever anyone took off so much as a scarf.

devildeepbluesea · 05/08/2024 18:41

IncompleteSenten · 05/08/2024 18:31

Are you saying older people think suggesting a child is doing a striptease is harmless?

I really don't think that's true.

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No of course not. What I’m saying is that it was a throwaway remark which the person probably connect with the age of the child in any way.

Original poster

Sheabutter19 · 05/08/2024 18:37

Thanks. He is 82. Generally well overall apart from a few physical general older age issues, no signs of memory decline or anything like that

OP posts:

Waterboatlass · 05/08/2024 18:35

What kind of a man is he and how old/ is he compos mentis? It could be generational, also lowering of inhibitions can be an early dementia sign (not to say it would make him a danger, can just be verbal)

IncompleteSenten · 05/08/2024 18:31

devildeepbluesea · 05/08/2024 18:28

It’s the sort of thing that many older people would see as harmless. In today’s climate it’s obviously pretty inappropriate but I doubt any sinister implication was meant.

Are you saying older people think suggesting a child is doing a striptease is harmless?

I really don't think that's true.

BobbyBiscuits · 05/08/2024 18:30

Striptease is clearly adult women titilating men, and he knows that. Deeply inappropriate.
Make sure he knows as well. I don't think it means he's a paedo or anything but it's just off.

devildeepbluesea · 05/08/2024 18:28

It’s the sort of thing that many older people would see as harmless. In today’s climate it’s obviously pretty inappropriate but I doubt any sinister implication was meant.

FFSWherearemyglasses · 05/08/2024 18:26

Absolutely not. It’s the sort of thing my mum would say - She’s 84!