Sister is having fals3 memories...

I have now read your post she has ocd. We have a lot of ocd in our family including me. It is a mental health issue and a response to dealing with stress / anxiety. Also often comes with a neurodiversity. I suspect she is an over thinker and is mixing her memories up with her thoughts.

Do you think she might have inattentive adhd? Inattentive adhd is a busy mind rather than a busy body and we tend to day dream. I have realised when older I have tended to mix up memories with my thoughts. I had a brain scan and all was ok - I have just gotten over tired during periods of poor memory

I have ADHD. I often forget things that DID happen, but I don't 'remember' things that didn't happen. I know it can present differently in different people, but I don't think what the OP is describing sounds ADHD related to me.

I don't think it's exactly deliberate with my sister either. She will claim she was at the middle of some event that I know she wasn't at - because I was there - and will look me in the eye when saying it. Narcissists construct their own version of reality, and believe it.

I have Fibromyalgia, and one of the symptoms is brain fog. I often think I've told my partner something and actually I've thought 'oh I must tell DP about that delivery coming tomorrow'

Luckily it's not been anything important for me or anything that's impacted anyone else, but it does freak me out when it happens

ALittleAlarmed

My daughter has a completely different perception / memory to actual reality and often thinks her dreams are true too and will be adamant things happened that didnt

Shes on the neuro pathway for ADHD and autism.

Yes in the past she seemed to exaggerate situations, easily offended. We have always put it down to her being a little petty. However, she has been deeply hurt by the injustices she has believed that have happened. She has had differing, slightly distorted recollections in the past, but this seems to have worsened. Sometimes Dsis's memory is good, and she is kind, and has a good heart. I don't believe it to be manipulation. I really do not know what is going on here

That is interesting that you mention that. Dsis does have OCD, and a fussiness about things, which our family, and dsis herself will laugh about

Spending a full day in bed could well be burn out. I'm not a proffesional, I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2023 and diagnosed with autism a few weeks ago,

Some of the things you have mentioned sound very similar to me and my DD

I'd be concerned too and would be thinking like you, that maybe it could be medication related or even an undiagnosed medical issue.

I'm not sure how your relationship is but I'd try and probe her a little more and gently suggest she has a check over at the GP about it.

First thing. Can you have a quiet word with her partner.
If s phe has any medical symptoms he will be seeing this as well, and more frequently. You can be quite casual but express some mild concern re sister.

if he’s not noticed, ok there’s a chance he’s just not that observant, but anything serious it will have at least gone through his head, even if he’s not done anything about it. Men aren’t great on getting their partner to seek help.

if he has noticed, then gently suggest he keeps a “diary” somewhere discreet for a few weeks, then makes a Gp appointment and shows and asks for what to do. GP will most likely say cant discuss and get her to make appointment, but if partner can show a sufficient frequency they could talk about a test . particularly if they mention family history.

id also start to keep your own diary of events. They’re extremely useful to look back on to see if things are getting worse, improving or patterns of tiredness. Stress etc. they’re extremely useful to medical teams if it comes to this.

if partner isn’t noticing anything, even after you’ve raised, in a few months time, and it isn’t getting worse, it is most likely sleep or medication and nothing serious.

don’t start to raise it with her, and challenge unless she’s saying so,etching outrageous or hurtful. Just watch and wait. You can, if annoyed by something she claims, throw in the classic “recollections may differ “

My sister does this too. She even will tell my stories as her own. I think her memory is just really shit. So when she thinks something she wants to tell me, she accidentally remembers telling me regardless of if it happened or not.

My sister is intelligent, capable and perfectly lovely. Just something about the way she remembers stuff gets muddled.

Why are you saying she has false memories? Sounds more like she’s telling lies, which is her prerogative but it’d make me think twice about believing or sharing things with her.

My sister does this all the time. She is a massive narcissist and she reinvents history to give herself a bigger role in it. Speaking to her, you'd think she'd been to Glastonbury and to raves and that she'd dated a whole bunch of my friends - she hasn't. It was me who did all those things, but in her head, it's her. It's really weird and feels like she just thinks she's entitled to my identity but I try and ignore it.

This is the OP's sister, that she's worried about. It doesn't sound remotely similar to your Hillary - cutting the sister out is not the answer

could be the way her brain works. In jumps instead linear consequence....we are still nowhere as science knowing much

Op, is your sister a snorer? What sort of Siri issues does she have?

I was diagnosed with sleep apnea last year after a life time of snoring and all my life I've been a really vivid dreamer, would often get confused with dreams and real life as a lot of my dreams were just incredibly vivid but boring mundane stuff. I got into trouble multiple times for thinking dream stuff was real and asking people this that they clearly had no idea about . I got diagnosed with OSA and honestly since starting the cpap treatment my recollections of real life events is SO much better in a daily basis. My dreams are more like what everybody typically dreams now, ie, they fade quickly and I don't remember most of them. This isn't common with people with sleep apnea, as you never fully go into a deep sleep. It could be worth asking her about her sleep issues? If her brain is constantly trying to wake her up as she is having pauses in her breathing this could explain a lot and it's not always linked to snoring. Obstructive sleep apnea is linked to snoring but central sleep apnea is not.

but every time she argues with me to the point of complete exasperation.

You'd think she would realise that we have had this conversation many many times

I would share your concerns with your mother and both of you start keeping a dated record of examples.
If after a month or two this seems to be a significant pattern, it would be worth raising your concern with your sister and suggest she visits the GP. Do it when her partner is present, so she feels she has somebody in her corner and hopefully won’t get too upset. He may have noticed similar issues and might support the idea of getting it checked out.

I don't think this is the same thing at all.

It could be perfectly innocent and for any of the reasons given here, but I've come to realise that some people do this sort of thing on purpose, as way of manipulating people or situations. Your saying how she has gotten offended and upset about being challenged rings alarm bells for me.

I have known at least one person who, when challenged clearly and consistently on it, providing evidence of what actually happened and refusing to back down, promptly stopped doing it. Which meant they must on some level have known they were doing it.

this doesn't sound like the same scenario at all.