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AIBU?

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Original poster

Holiday scenario

54 replies

blackbirdsinginginthenight · 05/08/2024 08:43

We are currently on holiday with our two DS. It's my DH birthday later this week. We have a boat trip planned today which he was keen to go on, it takes you to hidden beaches, some historical sites, opportunities to snorkel. It's a little boat for ten people.

I was never keen as I am not a strong swimmer, and I get sea sickness, but didn't want to disappoint everyone so agreed.

The day of the trip has arrived, my youngest DS (4) has an ear infection, we can't pick up antibiotics until this afternoon as the pharmacy will have them in, but when we are on the boat, which is a three hour trip, and an hour and a half drive from where we are staying. He is sore, but we are giving nurofen.

My other DS (6) has had a nasty reaction to a mosquito bite next to his eye. His eyelid is puffy, swollen, red and sore, and he can open his eye about 30%.

I think that they both should have a more chilled day, at home or near home, the eldest should see a doctor, and the little one should start taking his antibiotics.

DH thinks I'm making it about me, because I don't want to go on the boat, and using the kids as an excuse.

I've suggested DH go along but he says that's not a fun thing to do for his birthday.

What would you do? It goes against my instincts to go on the trip, but equally I am worried about the boat myself as I don't want to be sick and embarrass myself!

OP posts:
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Zanatdy · 05/08/2024 22:39

Your DH is being selfish. Sorry but neither children should be swimming and when you’ve got an ear infection I’d imagine a few hours on a boat could upset your balance, it would mine. So he would rather delay his child taking much needed antibiotics so he can still go on the trip? Sorry but he needs to think of his child, and get the antibiotic.

sleepingcat001 · 05/08/2024 22:30

Lovely update op, thanks.

Original poster
blackbirdsinginginthenight · 05/08/2024 22:18

In response to some of the posts- the doctor told us yday no pool for 48 hours, but the sea is fine, and fine to get ear wet. They didn't say we needed to cover the ear, or stay out of the sea, just pools.

Eye bite DS was looking really swollen when he woke up, but after a few hours the swelling had gone down loads so he's still taking antihistamine, but we didn't need to take him to the docs in the end.

We DID end up going on the boat, I took two sea sickness tablets before, the kids were fine and had a great time. I was fine whenever the boat was whipping along quickly and a bit nauseous when it stopped and bobbed about, but we were able to get into the sea at that point.

Thanks for all the replies. DH isn't awful, I had the option of staying at the bay and reading whilst he and the kids were gone, but sort of glad I went. Sort of. Not rushing back on a boat anytime soon, though Envy

OP posts:
minipie · 05/08/2024 20:45

Goodness surprised at the responses.

I absolutely love boat trips, don’t get seasick and I wouldn’t be taking two kids on a boat in this state.

What if the ear infection gets worse over the day? And the inability to swim/snorkel too, miserable for him. Bite less of an issue but will impact eg can he even wear goggles/snorkel mask with a sore lump by his eye.

Anyway did you go OP? What happened?

Lastly - as I read it it’s not DH birthday today but later this week, is that right?

Athitch · 05/08/2024 20:39

How did it go?

sleepingcat001 · 05/08/2024 17:25

Rhaidimiddim · 05/08/2024 13:50

A young child with an ear infection, you don't mess around, you get it treated before it gets worse.

Ignore those who are saying you are making it about you - you and your DH should both be prioritising your sick child.

Edited

Yes, it’s very irresponsible. The child should even cover his ear when he is taking a shower.

Rhaidimiddim · 05/08/2024 13:50

A young child with an ear infection, you don't mess around, you get it treated before it gets worse.

Ignore those who are saying you are making it about you - you and your DH should both be prioritising your sick child.

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson · 05/08/2024 13:50

I'm all for it being your choice of treat for your birthday but my choice of treat would never be to force someone to do something that would make them sick. If I really wanted to do something like this I'd book it for myself (and any children that were equally keen) not force my other half to come and spend the trip vomiting!

And as a parent you need to prioritise your children and what they need over what you want, and currently it sounds like the trip isn't going to be fun for either of them.

Another vote for telling dh to go on his own

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 05/08/2024 13:44

After a final dramatic boat trip in Malta, dh agreed never to try and make me go on a boat trip ever again.

CrimmTrent · 05/08/2024 11:59

VJBR · 05/08/2024 11:03

I think your husband should man up and go by himself. Three hours on a boat with two sick kids sounds like a nightmare. He should take the opportunity to enjoy a child free day.

Agree!

CrimmTrent · 05/08/2024 11:59

doyoulikemyyams · 05/08/2024 09:15

@Witsend101 totally. Aaaaaand... this is AIBU, so I'm less surprised.

Some threads on here seem to be a pressure valve for a lot of posters' repressed spite.

This 100%!!

VJBR · 05/08/2024 11:03

I think your husband should man up and go by himself. Three hours on a boat with two sick kids sounds like a nightmare. He should take the opportunity to enjoy a child free day.

Phineyj · 05/08/2024 10:51

The ear infection is because pools tend to send water to the middle part of the ear drum. Playing in the sea is unlikely to cause/exacerbate that unless you're properly swimming.

DD often gets those kind of ear infections when we stay in places with pools.

theworldsmad · 05/08/2024 10:37

I don't think a mosquito bite warrants staying home. A trip might also be taking his attention off the itching, rather than staying at home all day.
Yes ifba big ear infection maybe stay with 4 year old.
But yes def from his perspective it sounds like you're making it about yourself

69pbiryani · 05/08/2024 10:26

I don't think a mosquito bite should stop a boat trip. I would just stay behind with the poorly kid.

Original poster
blackbirdsinginginthenight · 05/08/2024 10:21

The doc said that the sea is okay, but to stay away from pools re: the ear infection, not entirely sure why, more germs in pools perhaps?

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 05/08/2024 10:18

The DC with the ear infection can't swim anyway and it doesn't sound like a lot of fun in heat with 2 kids that aren't 100%.
My DH would be disappointed but concerned for his children and agree that its unfortunately not a good idea, your DH is behaving like a selfish brat.
Is he usually precious about his brithday?

sleepingcat001 · 05/08/2024 10:17

He should go on his own!

Phineyj · 05/08/2024 10:15

Meh, someone's got to be the adult here.

Looks like it's you.

And never mind the poor kids -- what about the other people who'd like to enjoy the trip?! Problem with boats is you can't just get off if someone feels unwell.

Many parents would quite enjoy a solo boat trip on a birthday if that was their thing. I would!

DearestGentleReader · 05/08/2024 10:08

I can understand a small child not giving a shit if what they want for their birthday will make the rest of their family miserable/ill.
A grown man - and a husband and father no less - should know better.
What a knob.

sleepingcat001 · 05/08/2024 10:06

He should not be swimming with an ear infection. The bite is common though, I see it often around the eyes with children, it looks really bad though.

Cem82 · 05/08/2024 10:02

I absolutely love boats - one of my favourite things to do. I would not ask someone to do something they would not enjoy though.

Slightly different if the kids were begging to go as I think we all do things we don’t want to for kids but it doesn’t sound like they would enjoy it today. Maybe give the kids the choice?

ChubSeedsYorkie · 05/08/2024 09:56

ShanieH · 05/08/2024 08:54

What do the kids want to do? Tbh I think you are making it about you!

This

SecretWitch · 05/08/2024 09:52

Why in earth would you want to go on a boating trip if seasickness is an issue for you? Surely, your husband can go by himself if he enjoys that sort of thing.

You and your unwell children should absolutely have a chilled day while he does his boating thing.

KreedKafer · 05/08/2024 09:47

(Also, I’d add that if I was one of the other six people on a 10-person boat trip, I’d be quite pissed off to share a boat with a puking adult and a fractious four-year-old who might be feverish and carrying something infectious.)