Partner shoves me whilst I sleep!

Separate beds - you are not compatible sleeping buddies - it does not mean you are not compatible overall.

If he's fully awake and deliberately doing it to hurt you then it's a LTB from me.

If the hurt is accidental (you reference difference in size) in an otherwise good relationship - separate beds?

thank you so much @Whatwaswrongwiththatusername

My apologies to @Muddlethroughmam for getting annoyed on your thread, I hope you have taken some of the really good advice you have had from the majority who have replied. And I hope you are able to step back and see what's happening and please don't minimise his behaviour anymore. You are not overreacting, his behaviour is wrong. Full stop. Please find a way through this that is right for you, and any children you have. Only you know what that will be, or how long it may take, but you posted because you did know that is not right and have listened to yourself. Whatever next step you take may be hard, but long term safety for you and any children you have in the aim here. Be careful and safe and I wish you good luck in whatever you decide to do next, none of this is your fault and it definitely is a reason to finish a relationship. Where or when the abuse happens, no matter what excuse they use, it is still abuse, clear and simple.

He’s handling you roughly enough to hurt you, so badly that you can feel pain when you wake up. THAT IS ASSAULT. And he wants YOU to apologise for something as trivial as moving your hand on to his side of the bed while you’re asleep.

Can’t you see how abusive he is?

Maybe @Whatwaswrongwiththatusername is angry because the OP is being abused and some people are minimising it?

@Whatwaswrongwiththatusername knows it isn't OP snoring

no its the man who snores

what is the matter with you @Whatwaswrongwiththatusername - so much aggression here, you are being very dramatic,
have you read the ops posts or are you just running away with your own imagination? it is Not helpful

You are not being dramatic. To do this he is lifting himself and positioning himself above you. It's a choice. He's not got to the point where he no longer apologies. If you don't want your leave, you need single beds

It just feels to me like there is a bit missing, with some creative editing. She mentions she snores and he shoves her. My ex husband moaned l poked him to make him roll over, missing the part where he snored to excess to the extent he woke me up and rolling over cut down on the snoring. It’s not my fault snorers are super defensive most of the time

@Muddlethroughmam when you're both awake and, let's say for example you're in his way when he's trying to get to the sink in the kitchen, would he just shove you out the way?

I'm sure he doesn't... shoving you out of the way when you're both awake is unacceptable, so how does you being asleep and not in control of where you are make it acceptable??

At the very least he'd be getting a sarcastic "oh yes, I'm terribly sorry for encroaching two inches into your space when I'm fast asleep and not in control of my actions" from me, then telling him to either stop doing it or he's not allowed to sleep in the same bed as you any more.

DH and I used to have bed hogging issues that we've eliminated by buying a super kind size bed. Most of the time we actually have separate beds as we both snore. If DH is snoring I'll put my hand on his side and gently rock him until he stirs. If I'm snoring DH is sometimes less gentle, but that's just because he's like a bull in a china shop about everything! He does apologise when I point out that he either hurt me or scared the shit out of me.

Get a bunk bed with a double at the bottom where you can make love but when you sleep you go in the top bunk as you're petite and he can sprawl out in the double below.

I would dump him. He doesn’t care that he is physically hurting you.

Here we go, solved!! He wants to have a little fucking chat!! Oh dear god almighty. I'm going to have a coronary soon 🤬🤬🤬🤯🤯🤯

That's good, my late to husband had it, was a great snorer, and really needed to lose weight. I bought something from the chemist to spray at the back of his throat which was quite effective. He didn't move around in bed much though.

Is there another room in which you could sleep? I often did if the snoring re-commenced.

Too many men hurt women.

It takes a woman on average 9 attempts to leave their abusive partners because of stupid stupid advice from those in the women's circle usually telling her it's normal it's fine it's love, as well as a complete lack of resource immediately available.

So I won't be kind or courteous to you, you can fuck off telling a group of primarily women that their abusive partners are probably great in many ways because THAT'S WHY WOMEN DONT LEAVE.

Many of us have been through the abuse. My partner was hugely selfless with money and time and very charismatic and funny except every so often he liked to put his hands round my neck. Should I have stayed?

Honestly, get to fuck.

Can you get a bolster to put between you when you sleep? He can push that. Failing that twin beds.

This is what I have. But it is very evident that I am not awake as I make absolutely zero sense.

Do you live together?

Ask him why he does something that he knows hurts you.

Why does he want you to apologise for the way you've moved in your sleep? And why are you accepting this?

Yup. Another clever little sod has forgotten how to read. Or think. Yes, it's her fault for snoring. I hope some of you don't have daughters. In fact I also hope you're not bringing up boys either.

So many people on here and other threads.. are very quick to tell the Op's to leave their partners .. over 1 thing .. that can probably be resolved.
When their partner is great in every other way.

Honestly don't think OP should give a shiny fuck if he is awake or has a rare sleep disorder, which lets be real, he won't have.

Again, his health is his problem to fix and not OPs job to find a solution or an answer as to why he hits her as though she should just take it.

Let's empower OP to leave rather than wrack her brain looking for answers that aren't there in the wrong place

Thanks for that completely hilarious and irrelevant anecdote. Woo. Go you 👍🏻👍🏻 Here's your gold medal in sleeping 🥇I'm sure op has found it just so funny 🤣🤣🤣 and it's made her see just how trivial her silly little issue is! Congrats!

Well, I don't know what's wrong with me this morning, but I'm sure my brain is going to explode if I keep reading these.

Hi.
Is he doing it for any reason? Like does he want to have a chat in the night or something? Is he having nightmares before he does it? Is it cos you snore?
If it's totally out of the blue and random, two handed - I'd bite his head off the next time he does it. Stand your ground and tell him it's not acceptable - he can move to the bottom of the bed or sleep separately. If someone disturbed my sleep like that, I'd be furious and that's ignoring the strength he's putting into it!

The only pillow he deserves is over his nasty, abusive face! Seriously?! What are some of you not getting?? And of course a pillow in the middle of the bed, that takes up a hundred times more space than her hand creeping over his imaginary centre line down the bed is going to sort this out. Thanks. Why tf did she not try this? The rest of us can leave now, this genius has solved the whole problem. Now, if it's ok with you I'm just going to push you out of my way 'cos you're stood in front of the door and i am a nasty, violent arsehole who didn't have a pillow at hand to use and I didn't want to use my words.

I know I'm repeating myself here, but WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE?! I'm not usually riled at threads on here, but for some reason this is doing my head in and some of you need to look at what's happening in your own lives that's causing you to victim blame or not see what is clearly in front of your faces! I'm sorry to those of you who haven't worked out yet that you're in a similar situation, but the rest of you?? Jfc. I just can't fathom how low your standards and your IQ and comprehension must be. THIS IS INTENTIONAL, SHE IS DOING NOTHING WRONG. HE'S AN ARSEHOLE. Got it? Or do you need it in 6 inch text underneath a coloured drawing?