To find parents who inflict pressure to become grandparents creepy

I won't lie, I would absolutely love grandchildren and I'm at that age where quite a few of my friends have them now. But I wouldn't dream of even mentioning it to my dc. If I wanted one that badly I should have fertility treatment, apply to foster or adopt, work in a nursery etc not start nagging my dc to have children. I would probably have ended up with a collection of those reborn dolls but I find they look like my youngest did when they showed him to me before he was whisked off to nicu to go on a ventilator.

OMG that advert is priceless!!

I don’t think it’s creepy, but it’s inappropriate

My mother was desperate for grandchildren. Once they arrived she showed no interest in them whatsoever and told me before DD1 was born that she would never babysit or help
out. She was only interested in their achievements so that she could boast to her friends or ask me aggressively why mine didn’t eat Brussels sprouts as Enid’s grandchildren loved them.

I never pressured my dcs. To be honest, I hadn't ever thought about being a GP and felt sorry for children of colleagues who were forever going on about having dgc, even before their own children were in settled relationships. When one of my dcs told us we going to be GPS, I was amazed at the sudden strength of feeling I had about it. And that only magnified when dgc 1 was born and then, a few years later, dgc2. I doubt that dc1 will have children - they and partner have demanding careers and both want to be successful. For the female, their career would be severely impacted by taking time out. I completely respect this. I have never mentioned children to either DC prior to the announcement. I hated it when my mum or mil would drop heavy hints about it and would never do that to mine.

I know several people who have not been able to have children despite trying everything. One on particular has not told her mother of her struggles beyond the first loss, because of a lack of sympathy from her. Another who doesn't want to tell her parents because she doesn't want to disappoint them.

@lazysummerdayz think very carefully about voicing your thoughts, as you don't know the real reason anyone is child free.

I always wanted to be a nana.. and i will not lie, my children have always known i was looking forward to my nana years, but i wouldn't say there was ever any pressure on the children to make my dream come true!

One DD has always wanted to be a mum, so i knew one day, eventually the day would come. My othe DD will let hell freeze over before she ruins her body by birthing a child! I still love and adore the pair or them, its their decision!

I most certainly didn't inflict pressure on them!

My mum did a lot of talking about how she couldn't wait to be a grandchild, and we'd need to get a move on to make her a grandmother etc.

I wasn't sure I wanted kids, would have been OK if I hadn't had them, and DH and I also thought (for various reasons) it would never happen. We have now and she says things like "we waited a long time for this" etc. And TBF my parents are amazing grandparents.

However, it's turned out my sister can't have kids, and desperately wanted them. And she feels like she's let out parents down, which has also mortified them. So if we hadn't been able to have children, both of us would have felt like we'd failed.

Creepy isn't the right word, but it is a terrible thing to pressure your kids for. Because anything could happen to mean that those grandchildren don't materialize...

I`ll never be a grandparent because i never wanted children.
Never bothered my mother if i had them or not.

5 days after my 4th miscarriage my mother asked me when I was going to have children. I hadn’t told anyone apart from DH about the pregnancies I lost as it was early each time. I’ve never managed to have the Grandchildren's she wants. She used to do the ‘at this rate I’ll never have Grandchildren!’ Just glad my brother managed to have a couple (grown ups now) but she rarely sees them as his ex made hard for him to see the kids and he never pushed it via court.

i was in emotional pain and she just made it worse.

I'm the opposite, I don't want to be a grandparent. Hopefully, neither of my DC have kids.

My mum shames me for being a childless cat lady AFTER I HAVE HAD A BABY.

Apparently I was all unfulfilled before. Whereas now I get to talk about poo and never do my hobbies!

This poster is just being a GF, also disrespectful as well. This poster sounds about 15 or younger with the language used.
I never pressured mine to have children, in fact I really dud not care. I have them now and I love them, but would never see it as my business.

Then they should get a puppy !

I recall over-hearing my mother and mother in law talking, obviously about the lack of children when we'd been married for 8 years, and my mother said 'Oh, they won't have children, they're enjoying themselves too much!'.

Some people might .

YANBU. I used to feel really sorry for a friend of a dd, whose Dm was always wailing that at this rate she was never going to have any grandchildren. The poor girl (mid-30s ish) just hadn’t found the right bloke to have them with - it wasn’t her choice.
So insensitive of the DM.
(The dd did eventually find him and have 2 dcs though.).

I absolutely do not and will not feel like I’m missing out.

I would be appalled if I were your child and you said this to me. So passive-aggressive! Please do not do this to your children as it will serdamage your relationship(s).

If DC can rear their kids without expecting regular childcare or financial help- as I did-then yes, nothing to do with me. But if you look at most of the posts on MN, this does not appear to be the case. Childcare is so expensive now that most people expect childcare from grandparents, and I am not up for that. The occasional bit yes, but not regularly. Mean as it may sound.

That said, creepy is the wrong word here, and the OP 's post is very weird.

*really tough 🙈

What about people who find/found being a mum really? Do they want grandchildren?
Because I fall into this category. I'd like to spend my 50s/60s/70s doing the things I can't do now I have a young daughter.
Of course if I did have a grandchild, I'd love them and want to look after them.
But it wouldn't be my first choice, I'll be honest. Being a parent is tough! It must be even harder looking after (grand) kids when you are old!

You sound like you're 15 years old. I can't understand why you can't understand why some people would love to have grandchildren. I'm not one of those people but I can understand that others are. It's unfair to put huge pressure on your kids of course, but it's not horrendous or creepy to wish or hope to have grand children.