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AIBU?

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Original poster

Break down on motorway.

59 replies

SquatWeightaMinute · 04/08/2024 17:57

AIBU to be annoyed with DH or am I sensitive due to stressful situation.

I had car trouble a few weeks ago and broke down. RAC attended and said it was fine to drive, cleared the code and off we went. Car drove fine afterwards.

Today I broke down on the motorway with teen DS & DD with me.

I emailed DH to tell him and he didn’t even ask if we were ok. We were literally stood at the side of the motorway and all he said was - oh really, same fault as last time?

Not an ounce of concern.

OP posts:
Original poster
SquatWeightaMinute · 04/08/2024 18:53

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 04/08/2024 18:49

Do not be wasting time typing emails - be aware and watch the traffic at all times. Phone calls yes but be aware. For anyone reading this also get out of the car and climb up the banking or whatever away from the vehicle (obviously not the opposite side of motorway). Broken down vehicles often get hit by rubberneckers!

I will take that onboard. We did get out and over the safety barrier so that’s something.

OP posts:
Whatevershallidowithmylife · 04/08/2024 18:49

Do not be wasting time typing emails - be aware and watch the traffic at all times. Phone calls yes but be aware. For anyone reading this also get out of the car and climb up the banking or whatever away from the vehicle (obviously not the opposite side of motorway). Broken down vehicles often get hit by rubberneckers!

Original poster
SquatWeightaMinute · 04/08/2024 18:42

idontknow202 · 04/08/2024 18:38

I can't imagine caring that little about my family being in a dangerous situation that I wouldn't check in everyone was ok. It's stressful too and inconvenient to break down, again I can't imagine checking in that everyone was ok.
I would ask anyone in my family if they were ok if that happened and my family would ask me too.
I'm sorry that happened to you and I hope you're all ok and home again now.

Thanks, we are indeed home safe, we were recovered home as luckily weren’t too far away. The guy from the RAC was absolutely lovely, couldn’t have been more reassuring.

OP posts:
Original poster
SquatWeightaMinute · 04/08/2024 18:41

sleepyscientist · 04/08/2024 18:34

DH would likely have said the same but he knows I'm capable of dealing with it and the car must be toast for us to be on the motorway as I would drive it lit up like a Christmas tree to the next exit vs stop.

I couldn’t drive it, it lost all power, we were lucky to manage to get to the emergency lay-by.

OP posts:
DefyingGravitas · 04/08/2024 18:40

Boomer55 · 04/08/2024 18:03

You got it sorted, so it’s done now. . Not much your DH could have done.🙂

I suppose the only thing he could have done, had he chosen to, was support her. 😊

idontknow202 · 04/08/2024 18:38

I can't imagine caring that little about my family being in a dangerous situation that I wouldn't check in everyone was ok. It's stressful too and inconvenient to break down, again I can't imagine checking in that everyone was ok.
I would ask anyone in my family if they were ok if that happened and my family would ask me too.
I'm sorry that happened to you and I hope you're all ok and home again now.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 04/08/2024 18:37

I think the content of your email is an important part of this. There's a difference between "shit just broke down on the motorway" and "shit just broke down on the motorway and I'm terrified"

You messaged him so he knew you were all safe though and I think it's hard to imagine actually being on the side of a motorway unless you've been there

sleepyscientist · 04/08/2024 18:34

DH would likely have said the same but he knows I'm capable of dealing with it and the car must be toast for us to be on the motorway as I would drive it lit up like a Christmas tree to the next exit vs stop.

Original poster
SquatWeightaMinute · 04/08/2024 18:33

I accept I am being sensitive. I emailed him from the side of the motorway and he didn’t even reply until 4 hours later so I guess that’s annoyed me to start with, I hate the fact he’s not contactable at work anyway so that hasn’t helped matters.

I will give my head a wobble. It’s a me problem 😊

OP posts:
pinksheetss · 04/08/2024 18:31

OP - if the situation is where you can email DH to tell him then it isn't that pressing. He'd have known if it was anything really bad you'd have called or found a way to call his work.

It's an annoyance breaking down but that's about it, think you are being a bit sensitive or it's perhaps other issues creeping through but this incident on its own is not enough to feel this way.

Original poster
SquatWeightaMinute · 04/08/2024 18:27

earlymorningcurlewcall · 04/08/2024 18:25

How old is DD?

If they're old enough to follow instructions I probably wouldn't bother to ask how you were

Both teens so definitely able to follow instructions.

OP posts:
earlymorningcurlewcall · 04/08/2024 18:25

How old is DD?

If they're old enough to follow instructions I probably wouldn't bother to ask how you were

Sunshineafterthehail · 04/08/2024 18:23

Sorry to be clear I meant him. My dh knows I am extremely competent but motorway and dc in a broken down car is dangerous... He would and has in the past' saved' me many times.... Shows regard for your safety and wellbeing surely basic in a decent relationship?

Original poster
SquatWeightaMinute · 04/08/2024 18:20

I would definitely be concerned if it was the other way round, not because I think he is incapable of handling it, but because it’s scary and a right pain.

Definitely seems I am in the minority here though.

OP posts:
Gatehouse77 · 04/08/2024 18:19

Depends. Any message I sent DH would firstly state that everyone was okay so he wouldn’t need to ask.
So, yeah, his response would have been along the line of “fucking annoying!”.

WickieRoy · 04/08/2024 18:18

YANBU, we've broken down on the motorway and it was bloody scary. Not to mention any breakdown is a complete pain in the arse.

I would have expected more concern and empathy, and would have received it from DH.

Original poster
SquatWeightaMinute · 04/08/2024 18:17

Tulip8 · 04/08/2024 18:14

What if there was an actual emergency? Surely you can get hold of him another way? Like if you're in a car accident and the police offer to call your next of kin, you'd tell them to email him???

I would get them to phone my brother or teenager. I presume there is a phone number for emergencies but I have never phoned him at work. They don’t have phones and that’s that really. Maybe worth asking though incase.

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 04/08/2024 18:15

Well he obviously thought you had things under control and were fine if you could email. Sure a bit more empathy would have been nice.

Kangarude · 04/08/2024 18:15

I would have presumed that you would have mentioned it in the email if one of you were not ok

Hoppinggreen · 04/08/2024 18:14

It is a bit scary to break down, especially on a motorway with DC but my H would have probably responded the same. If I needed him he would have dropped everything and come but he knows that I can cope with most things and rarely need his help. There is nothing your H could have done and in the circumstances you describe I probably wouldn't have even told my DH about it

Tulip8 · 04/08/2024 18:14

What if there was an actual emergency? Surely you can get hold of him another way? Like if you're in a car accident and the police offer to call your next of kin, you'd tell them to email him???

Original poster
SquatWeightaMinute · 04/08/2024 18:11

Seems I am being a bit sensitive then.

I can’t call him at work, we can only communicate via email. He doesn’t have access to his phone.

I managed fine so I guess you are all right. It was just a bit nerve wracking, I have only broken down twice and this was my first time breaking down on the motorway.

OP posts:
WildFlowerBees · 04/08/2024 18:10

I'd have asked my dh if he was ok, doesn't matter how it was communicated surely to ask someone you love if they're ok is normal. I swear Mumsnet is littered with devoid humans sometimes.

Your dh was a bit thoughtless perhaps op, I'd not really give it too much thought unless it's part of a wider issue of feeling generally uncared for.

Greytulips · 04/08/2024 18:10

I’m not sure what he could’ve done - you rang your experts and they came out.

He was at work and not an emergency was it? Nobody was hurt.

JackRabbitSlim · 04/08/2024 18:09

He probably assumed you'd have called if you weren't okay, that's what I'd expect in an emergency if I wasn't allowed to take calls at work.
There isn't much he could have done, you were off the carriageway, waiting for recovery. It's all you can do, really.