Break down on motorway.

It's not about being 'alarmed' surely?

It's about showing concern.

He waited 4 hours, FOUR hours, to check OP was okay.

She told him she'd broken down. He didn't know she'd been 'rescued' and was ok, did he?

If your husband thinks of you as a normally competent person and you were able to send an email, and didn't mention anyone being hurt, there would not be any reason for alarm on his part.

This fault is related to the original, even though it was checked, so that's still an issue.

Yes that would bother me a lot. Agree with sunshine that how people react in a crisis is very very telling.

But we pay a lot of attention to our cars, servicing and checking, and when it broke down the first time, Dh would've put it in immediately to have it looked at. So was there a reason you didn't?

I cannot believe some of these responses. I broke down recently by a very busy road, and pulled up to the side and texted by friends while waiting for rescue, they were concerned and reassuring and sent follow up messages to make sure i got home ok. Even the RAC man rang to make sure I'd made it home. Every person I've mentioned this to since has shown concern. I think this is quite a stressful situation for most people and I cannot imagine not being concerned about someone I was meant to care about.

I would be having a gentle conversation with your husband about this. You can ring others from prison using prison landlines. I know a few people who work in prisons and this is how they communicate with families etc when at work.

I did write that then deleted it.

Your family needs a number. If you were ill / unconscious, God forbid, people need to be able to reach him.

Losing power when cars are doing 70 mph is terrifying so I'm also surprised at his reaction.
What's even more scary is alot of roads no longer have active hard shoulders so you have to switch on hazards and creep along at 30/40 mph hoping that those behind you slow down in time for you to reach an emergency layby.

I feel for you! I'd be terrified to break down on the motorway! Particularly one of these "smart" motorways. Hope all OK and you've made up with DH. Some men just don't think to ask but doesn't mean they don't care.

I know this isn't directly about the breakdown BUT do you need to re-think this contact?

If you were rushed to hospital, or any of your children were, AND YOU COULDN'T PHONE HIS 'FACILITY' but he needed to be with you very quickly, there must be ways someone could get hold of him?

I am wracking my brains about what his workplace could be .

But whatever it is, people in your family need to have a phone number in case of an emergency.

OP I have a habit of sounding calm and chilled about things like this, because I don’t want to worry the person in the situation. In your DH’s situation, I wouldn’t have wanted to say “Oh shit, how awful, are you OK?” because you might have thought “I must be in danger if DH is worried about me”.

I’m assuming from this that you’ve never broken down on a motorway.

yes cars breakdown all the time but unless you’ve experienced it happening on the motorway then you really don’t know what you’re talking about.

Loosing power when everything around you is going 60/70mph or more Is actually very scary and on a “smart” motorway with no lay-by which it sounds like OP was on (but able to get to an emergency area) then it can be deadly. Unless you’re lucky to have it happen when there is next to no traffic.

OP I’d hope that your DH just hadn’t fully taken in the details but yes I’d be pretty annoyed if when it happened to me, my DH was as equally uncaring.

Good grief.

The empathy gene gave you a swerve.

No, you're not.

Posters here are giving you a kicking and set the bar very low in their own lives it appears.

What work does your H do?
Are phones banned?

Over the years I've called my H at work and even in an important meeting he'd make his excuses and pop out for 5 mins to call me if I said it was urgent.

Unless yours is a surgeon or doing some life-death work, why can't he access a phone for 4 hours?

Can't believe the comments here.

I don't know what your H does for work, but mine would have offered to leave work and come to help me.

I'm trying to think what kind of job doesn't permit phones but he can access emails- call centre? Most people at work aren't always staring at a screen to access emails.

When DH and I were dating, I broke down and called the AA. I was on my way to see DH (who lived 100 miles away.) I was roughly half way there and he offered to come and meet me and help.

IMO this is what a caring person would do or at least check in afterwards to see if you were okay.

@SquatWeightaMinute You need to talk seriously to your DH about no phone contact at work. Surely there is some way he can be contacted ?

You are not being sensitive, but some on here are being callous and unfeeling. Breaking down on the motorway is something to be feared, and most people’s nightmare. There have been some horrific deaths from this sort of situation. Sounds as if you handled it well, and I’m glad you are all ok. Some men are very matter of fact, but he should have been more empathetic and supportive.

What a cold reaction! It is dangerous and could be fatal to break down on a motorway, absolutely terrifying! I understand the OP’s fear. Her husband could have shown some concern and empathy

Stressful situation? Good grief. Cars break down all the time. It’s part of life.

What exactly was your husband supposed to do? He was at work, doing a job where he can’t even take a phone call. I wouldn’t have said anything to my husband until he came home as it was a non-event. Car broke down. It was repaired. You got home. All before he even finished work. So what?

What was his reaction he saw you afterwards? I can imagine my DH forgetting to ask if I was ok if he was in midst of being busy at work, but if he saw the situation had distressed me he'd be concerned and looking at getting the car fixed or replaced. I would feel a little bit upset he didn't think to ask/call me to check at the time though.

Did you get the car looked at by the garage after the first break down? I wouldn't be taking my kids on the motorway without having had it checked first.

I think you need a way of contacting him at work in an emergency - that's the real issue here.

If my DH e-mailed me to say he had broken down I'm not sure I'd panic either, I'd assume he was a capable adult who had it all in hand. However, if he rang me I'd assume it was more urgent and would make sure he was okay/see if he needed anything.

Well if she was emailing it was hardly a dangerous situation was it - they were just sat in the hard shoulder waiting for a tow truck. Tedious but not dangerous.

Maybe I had too many shit cars in my youth to be completely nonchalant about breaking down. I've broken down on motorways, city centres, remote country roads, all times of day and night, on my own, with others and with just a small baby for company. It's boring above all else.