To wonder why more parents don't encourage daughters to freeze eggs?

yup, also the processes needed to be able to use the eggs....including a sperm donor?

Totally agree. I think it’s mortifying that a parent would do this. It’s saying to your child your role is to carry on the family line and it contributes to this idea in society that women who don’t want or have children are useless.

Because it’s a bizarre thing to do. Why would someone assume that their child may not meet someone and have kids naturally? It’s kind of odd ‘ow darling in case you struggle to conceive or find a man here’s some money to freeze some eggs’ bloody charming! I think my daughter would think I’m an arsehole. I wonder if this is a class thing as my parents couldn’t afford to help with home deposits or wedding costs so the thought of freezing eggs would never enter their consciousness. Is this what rich people worry about ,ticking boxes?

How bizarre. I've never had this discussion with anybody in real life but egg freezing is always all over MN.

What makes you think that using your frozen eggs, even if frozen when you were 18, would give you better chances than having a fresh IVF now?

I am sorry but you're not being reasonable.

On a different note, I've seen people on Mumsnet going for IVF after FOUR months of TTC because they classify it as 'unable to conceive' and go and pay for private IVF thinking it's the easy route. Would probably be even more common if those people had frozen eggs.

Truthfully oP, I can see this is probably a post made at a time when you are feeling you would like more control and that suggestion probably seems like a way round it. But in your late twenties your eggs are not past it. If there’s an issue it’s more likely a carrying issue than an egg one, and lots can be done at your age. Fingers crossed and chin-up.

Im late 40s and my own experience of egg freezing was positive. But I have ended up not deciding to use my eggs 🤷‍♀️

i went through a number of cycles in my mid/late 30s when I was having health issues (that in themselves didn’t impact on fertility. The process does have risks, but I found it a bit uncomfortable but not awful (and less emotional than IVF as it’s only the first bit and it’s all hypothetical at that stage). It did cost me a fair wack. And I froze enough eggs that I would be very very unlucky for it not to be successful.

im pleased I did it because I feel that now I have been able to make a conscious decision not to have a child l. I am in a position now where if I really wanted to I could - although age of course now is a factor that it wouldn’t have been earlier. It turns out that I actually quite like my life and the thought of a child overwhelms me. But i equally might have met someone and been thrilled to have frozen my eggs so I could have a baby with them 🤷‍♀️

So I’ve found it a really empowering decision and I have no regrets. But I also am not loaded but could pay for it without shocking sacrifices.

so I have conflicting feelings on egg freezing. For me it’s been a good thing. But at a more macro level I think it has potential to be negative for many women.

yes, I naturally conceived dd at 41. At 42 i wanted another, but then abandoned it after the egg thawing process. it did offer me some peace of mind in my childless days though and served a purpose. A rather expensive one .

but no word of a lie. I cried and cried and cried when I found out what a con it had been.

Unfertilised frozen eggs tend not to have a particularly high success rate.

With all due respect. I think you're assuming that egg freezing could have saved your situation OP when its likely it wouldn't

The odds are very much not likely to be successful.

I’m sorry to hear this.😞 It sounds really upsetting. Did you get the family you hoped for?

Exactly. It's not a safe or sure thing at all. Most people do conceive children naturally, thankfully.

To suggest a possible answer to your question - I guess it's because no one wants to imagine that their daughter will struggle to have children. I think we all just hope and pray that it'll all be ok when the time comes.

But you touch on an important point. Many women are staying longer in education (eg gap year, 4-year degree, masters) than in previous generations. Many women are then working longer before starting a family:

1. To get their career properly established so they have something to come back to after marriage leave and
2. To get a deposit together (whilst paying rent and trying to have a bit of a life) if they want to get on the property ladder first - because property is much more expensive now, relative to salaries.

So having babies in your twenties does not feel manageable for some.

Some firms pay for egg-freezing for female employees.

Because parenthood isn't a right or a given? Because your world isn't smaller and you're not less of a person if you don't have children? Because Larkin was spot on?

I wonder that you didn't think through what a horribly intrusive proposition you're making, OP? But then again, we're all different.

I wouldn't even think of suggesting this to any woman, least of all my daughter. Ugh.

Why don’t parents give their boys the gift of sterilisation to prevent unwanted pregnancies? Then the parents can pay for the reversal later?

If I had a son, I'd be bloody tempted to do this...

Because my daughter has autonomy over her own body and I wouldn't dream of suggesting it.

This.

Daughters are not grandchildren-producing machines.

Nobody expects to have the same number of children as eggs, that's not how it works. If you had only 8 frozen eggs, 7 might thaw successfully. With successful ICSI, 5 would fertilise (70-80%) and 3 would make it to day 5 (30-50%). 2 of those might be chromosomally viable (65% for mid-late twenties), of which only 60% successfully implant. For most people, 8 eggs frozen from a 25 year old would result in 1 child.

You're doomed either way

Either I had them when my parents were struggling to help due to age or when my parents were still working and people are edging closer to 70 now when they are at home and available

In many situations people delay having kids because they can't afford them due to not being able to have one income house holds. My parents also can't afford for a one income house

If I had them young my mum had many years of working ahead of her potentially til she was 68 then would have struggled to be regular childcare

I was waiting for someone to come along and say this. I feel like an awful person because I am encouraging my DC not to have DC. Especially as they want to stay in London if they can.

Are you serious? It’s unreliable and no guarantee of working, means having to do IVF when they do want to use the eggs, it’s painful and invasive. How many young people even know if they want kids? It also has the ongoing cost of storage. Freezing embryos is more reliable but obviously involves choosing a partner first. Maybe not all parents see their daughters as breeding machines. And I’d seriously consider whether you want your parents paying for IVF if you did need it - it’s not guaranteed and could create a difficult dynamic as theyr essentially paying for a grandchild. I would never accept money from parents for IVF. A property deposit or car is not comparable - those are guaranteed

The thread isn't about helping to look after kids though? It's about freezing eggs.

I'm hoping my children don't want children tbh. The world is getting harder imo and I would prefer they didn't have that worry. So wouldn't occur to me to offer egg freeze as a gift