To wonder why more parents don't encourage daughters to freeze eggs?

If my 18yo said she wanted that then sure I'd help. But I wouldn't push it on them.

Better to tell them female fertility reduces from age 25 as the vast majority are unaware.

I wouldn't encourage it because the procedure itself is very invasive with no guarantees that it would help.
I would absolutely pay for IVF if DD would ever want to explore that path in the future but I'd never encourage anyone to have IVF treatment. It is an all consuming gruelling experience from what I've witnessed as an outsider and can lead to deep disappointment.

Although I did read an article a few years ago where they described a new procedure that involved harvesting something in a similar fashion before the age of 30 (I don't remember exactly) which can be used to create a personalised anti ageing treatment in the future. I found that to be very interesting. Whatever that something was (cells of some sort), it would be harvested and then multiplied in a lab somehow and injected as needed in the future. You'd have yourself own stock of never ending supply of this matter. It had to be done at the optimal age where oestrogen was at its highest levels. I wish I kept that article, it was in the Style section in the Times during the pandemic sometime in March/April. I would encourage that. In fact I did mention it to my DD but she wasn't interested. Sadly too late for me to investigate for my own use.

Surely it would be a waste of money for the vast majority of everyone did it.

Exactly. My thoughts too.

How weirdly intrusive and creepy, try to think of your daughters as more than fucking baby making machines.

Because most of us don't need it? I didn't need IVF to conceive my two DC, it would be pretty awful for me to have gone through that procedure and have my eggs frozen when I didn't need it. If I were going to be gifted money by my parents (I haven't ever been), it would have been much more useful for it to have gone towards a house deposit. Many of us don't get gifted a property or a substantial wedding contribution. Those things would be more useful to me then frozen eggs.

Success rates with frozen eggs are much lower than IVF with fresh eggs or frozen embryos, and even those chances of being a success or low. I would have thought it someone had no housing costs and a free car they could put their hand in their pocket for once and pay for their own egg or sperm freezing.

A fairly small percentage of people need IVF, not all of those are due to poor egg quality.

Anyone going through IVF is of going to go through the what ifs, but they can’t blame someone else if they chose not to have sperm or eggs frozen earlier in life. Theres also no guarantee their eggs or sperm were of good quality when younger.

Why aren't more parents encouraging their daughters to think very very strongly about whether they even want to bother having kids.

Indeed. My mouth is still agape at the "gifting" of a property in Central London. My parents weren't even wealthy enough to get a mortgage for themselves.

Because it’s none of the parents’ concern, it’s invasive, expensive and unreliable. What a creepy OP.

As a parent, the only time I would ever suggest something like this to my young adult dc would be for fertility preservation due to cancer treatment etc. Fertility issues in healthy young adults (20’s and 30’s) are not particularly common. People are leaving it too late these days eg trying to conceive in their 40’s. So surely a much less invasive and convenient way to address this is to encourage dcs who DO want children to be aware of their biological clocks.

This 👍

Because for most it will be a waste of money. Everybody needs somewhere to live, a relatively small number of people need to freeze their eggs.

Something about it also feels a “Handmaids Tale”.

I agree that is appalling. They could offer a childcare bonus or something, so eg, have a child, but stay with this company, we support you to be a mother.
Keep their employees that way.

I had a baby with a wrong 'un and I knew I wasn't in a very good situation financially (although not the worst) and I knew the relationship wasn't as supportive or equal as I'd have liked from a life partner but you can tell yourself that you have the potential to sort out finances and relationships later.

I was shamed in some quarters. Women can't win.

Expensive, invasive and not as foolproof as egg freezing companies would have you think. Companies convince women it’s a silver bullet and it’s not.

why is it that so few girls are encouraged by their parents at age 18-25 to freeze eggs by their parents?

Because it doesn't have high enough odds to be worth the cost, and the procedures involved, unless you're in the position that you need it?

Work offered to pay for it for me at 22. I was told the often-quoted figure is around 30% but in reality, it's about 20% successful, and I'd have had fees to pay for years. In reality, I met DH at 26, and had DS easily at 31. We're TTC again and it's admittedly been less smooth sailing this time, but if it's a girl, I still don't think I'd put her through that medical intervention and cost given there's nothing to suggest she wouldn't be able to conceive naturally.

I also know of two people, of the seven of us, who had side effects from the procedure. One now believes she's infertile, one seems to have recovered okay but it took her a few years. Both were in hospital for around three weeks, with very swollen abdomens and lots of pain.

It's a difficult, painful, invasive medical procedure that is not without risks in itself, and the chances of subsequent successful conception using the frozen eggs are low. It's not something people should undergo unless necessary.

I froze my eggs for medical reasons, went on to have six attempts using IVF, none were successful. With hindsight, I wish I had not done any of it.

It's also enormously expensive. I'm in my 40s now and still paying for the experiences I went through in my 30s. The cost is beyond the reach of most people - read your own post back and check how many times you told us you are from a wealthy family!

OP who is paying for the egg storage fees for all the years after the "gift" is given?

Yes… and this.

Absolutely this. I think infertility can become all consuming for those who suffer from it hence this kind of thinking

For me it’s because it’s leaving something as precious as genetic material that has the potential to be my grandchild/their child ( irrespective of how and who fertilises it) in the long term care of other people. Admittedly I’m sure there are strong protocols in place but the risk of mix up is disturbing enough that i’d only suggest that route if I knew they were having trouble - and were keen. I guess I’m just jealous ( in the possessive sense) and hyper vigilant about leaving my descendants lying round the place in the care of others …

Why, among all of my friends, even ones who went to private school and come from super rich backgrounds, have none of us been "gifted" an egg freezing round but many got flats etc? Not ungrateful but just wondering why culturally it's not as common when it could save so many tears, stress and even money down the line to be used on unsuccessful IVF rounds as egg quality declines?

Because if I had provided my daughter with a private education, a flat, and also paid a substantial amount towards her wedding, then I would expect her to be able to put some money aside for freezing her eggs, if that is what she wanted to do. If she couldn't manage to earn and save the money herself after having such a privileged start to life, then I would be pretty hurt and disappointed that she then wanted to blame me.

I feel like this is 100% something I would "gift" my daughter, ahead of for example cars or flats. Or am I missing something?

But that's probably because atm you are going through fertility treatment which is making you anxious and super aware of potential fertility problems for your daughter. You're looking at it with emotions, not what makes a logical financial investment, such as a flat.

That's fucking awful. The ONLY reason this company would do this, is to ensure the workforce aren't off having babies whilst employed there... Not having to give maternity leave/pay, and then no need to offer flexible working or parental leave etc
They're 100% not doing this to be kind or thoughtful or to be on the side of women...

How can you not see how fucked up that is?

Personally I think a house is a fantastic choice for parents to invest in for their children’s future. It is a definitely going to be needed thing rather than a vague maybe thing.

Surely though the massive amount of help you were given means you had much more disposable income at that age that you could have actively saved and planned to do that yourself though?

either way I hope things work out for you, I can see this thread is coming from a situation where you are going through a hard time and thinking back about how if you had known your future you could have made different decisions.

Yes, getting her to delay having kids so she is available to work for them!