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Original poster

To Ask “What’s wrong with shame?”

80 replies

MoveToParis · 04/08/2024 09:55

As a society we have mostly abandoned shame and now seem to view shame as universally bad.

I don’t think that’s true, I think it has its place and if someone behaves shamefully then why shouldn’t they feel shame?

If you are prepared to own your behaviour then other people’s opinion won’t bother you. But if your behaviour (and I include my own in this) has to be kept like a grubby little secret, then maybe a bit of shame won’t do any harm in the long run.

OP posts:
Edingril · 04/08/2024 10:05

Who decides the definition/level of shame or not?

Blisterly · 04/08/2024 10:04

But one person’s view of shameful isn’t the same as another’s.

WickieRoy · 04/08/2024 10:04

I'm fine with shaming someone for criminal or immoral behaviour.

Not so much for being overweight, poor, shy etc.

Corvidmango · 04/08/2024 10:03

Shame involves a sense of being a bad person, whereas guilt is feeling bad about behaviour. Personally, I think shame is more likely to send behaviour underground and hidden and less likely to lead to change. Guilt, on the other hand, allows us to feel like we are good enough as a person, but feel bad about behaviour that causes harm or upset, and, I think, then gives us more impetus for change and make it less likely that we hide the behaviour.

Catza · 04/08/2024 10:01

Shame isn’t viewed as universally bad, just the kind of shame which has no rational basis behind it e.g being ashamed of your body or the fact that your house is too small.