Can't see the point of this holiday

@MsVestibule

it doesn’t sound like a great holiday at all. It’s not what op wants or needs - she needs relaxation.

Have you sons suggested anything in particular they would like to do? Mine searched TikTok for ideas when I went away with them. Maybe quirky places to eat/chill out in/Insta worthy places? Or some activity they could both enjoy but you could watch?

Oof sounds tough - 2 weeks is a long time tbf. But also, you are on hols so if you are not up and showered it is OK to be on a go-slow.

Anyway, if you haven't already, you should read 'Us' by David Nicholls. (If you can find it as a holiday read even better!) It's about a European Grand Tour with a reluctant teen. Some of it will resonate am sure!

If you're planning things that actually none of you want to do, then just don't do it. I like city break type holidays, but I'm a great believer in building in days for just chilling out or, at most just a gentle exploration of the area around where you're staying.

It sounds like a full on time away...you noticed I didn't use the term 'holiday', because it's not. A holiday should be relaxing and involve being out and about. You need some down time, to sit and actually relax! Otherwise, you'll be going home for a rest!! You need to incorporate what you'd like into a holiday, as well as your children. If you want a few days by the beach and pool, then your children need to respect that the time away is for all of you, and accept that. I'm off to the Greek of Kos in a couple of weeks, with my husband and 13 year old son - we have some 'sitting by the pool' time planned, an excursion to Turkey, we're hiring a car so we can explore the island and another excursion to a volcanic island nearby. History, a bit of geography, visiting another country and relaxing will be involved.

We just did a 8-day travelling type holiday (which I pretty much organised) with our uni student DCs and it was enough! We saw some great things, but I felt we needed a proper restful holiday afterwards 😆
We did do a US travel type holiday pre covid but that was longer with a relaxing part in the middle. I think that few days of relaxation is key.

This sounds like peri-menopause, it's how I felt, could it be that? I would maybe suggest, if it's feasible, why not pick one place near the sea with places of interest within reach and you can chill out and the boys can go on organised day trips.

Each of you gets a turn at choosing what to do and anyone who spoils it loses a turn

Your 'holiday' sounds like anything but, and you are exhausted and burnt out.
Build in some days by the pool with a book, a massage, some quiet time. This trip should not be all about your dc, but you as well. If they want to swim, read or relax or sit on a device that is up to them. You are not going to feel any better until you have had time to relax and recover.

2 weeks is a long time for a "go, go, go" holiday. Especially one where you're responsible for getting you all from A to B, rather than, say, on an organised tour.

It sounds like you are quite burnt out/stressed from work. And maybe some chill days are needed. Sack off the historical sites for a day or two, and concentrate on seeing the place like a local and finding the hang-out spots. After all, for your history nerd kid, these places will still be here 10-15 years from now when he can come on his own, and nerd 'til his heart's content.

You're tired and need time.to relax. Travelling all over the place is definitely not relaxing. I think you're body's realised this isn't what you need. Could you cut the trip short and go home? Fill up the padding pool, get some drinks in and relax the last week?

The boys vetoed it? Do they pay for the holidays?

They’re only there because you work hard to pay for it. What do YOU want to do? If you want a few days at the beach or doing something else then that’s where you go. They can suck it up and I’m sure within an hour they’ll be enjoying themselves. It sounds like this trip is only accommodating one of you as it is!

The boys may have vetoed beach holidays and pools years ago but what do you want? I know people say 'it 's all about the kids' but I don't agree. Part of being a family is compromise and if you want to sit on a beach or by the pool for a couple of days they should be willing to support that, they aren't little kids.

This reminds me of a holiday with my two older teens where I actually broke down and told them I had spent £6k on their fucking holiday so the least they could do would be to fucking well enjoy it 😂😂😂

Obviously that went down really well.

It seems both DS are actually enjoying themselves, but what would you like to do? If you want to sit in a park/outside a cafe for three hours people watching, just do it. DS history buff can wander into the church across the square, and DS surgically attached to phone can go with him or sit with you, or sit at an adjacent place that has WiFi?

It is your holiday too!

The problem with ds2 is he's not really interested in anything you can do on holiday! It makes it hard to take it in turns to pick activities as his pick would be sit on phone! That's always been the way though and I normally cope and he's generally amenable to stuff, just not massively enthusiastic. It's just this time I'm coping less well.

In that case you can choose what to do and he can sit on his phone, it won't make any difference to him.

Focus on finding some relaxing/free things to do.

There must be something ds2 would like to do, why did he agree to the trip otherwise. Are they old enough to go off independently while you take time out?

Sympathies, OP. I'm on holiday in a lovely place with a teen. We're having a nice time but a bit in each other's pockets with no new chat at each meal.
What doesn't help is I always feel a bit mournful about the lovely times we had when she was a toddler/child.
I also had an accident yesterday so I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself and ready to go home really. Go easy on yourself, holidays aren't always non-stop fun and joy.

It's tough. My DS is the same - not interested in history / art / photography / food. We go places but he's never that "impressed" if you know who what I mean.

Don't feel guilty about and nothing day.

Are they old enough you could leave them and go to a cafe or do a bit of shopping alone?

I agree with this.

Our honeymoon was this kind of thing only three weeks (we drove to Italy stopping in a bunch of other countries) and about halfway through we were knackered and decided to rejig the plans and booked a last minute few days to lie on a beach and chill.

If you can change things up and get some rest you might feel more enthusiastic for the last bit of the holiday.

I think if you are exhausted after a challenging year at work then travelling around is probably not quite the holiday you needed. You probably need a week laying down on a sun lounger and an AI buffet to feed the kids. It sounds like you are burnt out.

How fixed is your schedule? Could you stop a bit longer in one place and miss some others so you can just rest? Or could your dc go off and sightsee together while you park yourself in a park or on a beach with a good book?

Definitely this- at least one chill out day required.

We've done a couple of train holidays with children and they've been great, but not relaxing. I'm glad we did them, but I felt like I needed another holiday to recover afterwards. My dc are a bit younger so we can still build in playground stops, and on one trip we unexpectedly ended up right by an outdoor pool which was lovely. Are there any city passes available in your next stops? That sometimes works out better value for money but depends what you want to see. Cities do tend to be more history and gallery focused so your dc who likes history has the advantage - is there a beach or swimming river or some kind of outdoor activity anywhere within reach?

2 weeks is a long time to go on holiday anyway, and a long time for that kind of up and go, moving around, lots of walking type of trip. Can you pick a place with a beach to stay for a couple of days and chill?

Where are you? It sounds like a chill day away from all the planning might be good. Something like an open air swimming pool or lake? Then phone kid can spend all day on his phone, you can snooze and swim, and everyone can chat and eat fries.

I second the PP who suggested depression though. It sounds like you've been running on nerves and adrenaline and there's nothing left in the tank now you're on holiday. Maybe book a GP appointment when you're home.