To wonder if “friend” is right and people are judging me (disability)

she isn’t a friend she is one of those people that like to make others feel bad about themselves they have no real friends

You have a lovely family a supportive husband and all muddling along the best you can in very challenging circumstances

as for judging yes some people will but you just have to ignore them and they will soon turn their internal bitterness elsewhere and be judging someone else

You have both fibromyalgia and epilepsy. Both of these conditions on their own would have the ability to have an major impact on your life day to day and could stop you working in the normal 9-5 Monday to Friday job. With both conditions your physically not able to work. The reality is that you were in work. You realised that working was making you worse and your employer was beginning to manage you out. You then had to apply for the various disability payments you are entitled to.

You are doing what's best for your own health at the moment and trying to go places and do things without making things worse for you health wise.

Your so called friend then called around and asked when were you going back to work and you said not at the moment. She then made the comments she made. I have to say what a bitch. Most people would prefer to be in work and have more money than benefits provide.
I am sure your other friends see how your medical conditions effect you but are supportive. They make the effort to see and spend time with you.

I am glad you husband heard her and told her to get lost after what she said. My feeling is that she resented that you did better in school, probably had a better job and had a child before all this happened and she to make those comments to make her feel better.
The reality is that she showed her true colours and you don't need or want her in your life.
I tell all your friends about her behaviour and you might find out that other people have had similar or are pulling away from her because of this.

Life does not always go according to plan and sometimes you have to make the best of a situation until things improve or change things to make life easier for you. Hopefully in your situation you can get on to better medication that will ease the symptoms you currently have and give you a better quality of life.

In my opinion it's only her, possibly her husband listens to her bang on but I'm not sure he agrees.
She's jealous of you not working ... tell her you will swap places with her.

Your husband is worth his weight in gold stepping in like that.
I've a good man here too but unfortunately he'd rather avoid any conflict with others and never stands up for me.

She sounds consumed with jealousy. What a horrible woman and what a disgusting way to treat you. Your husband is a good chap and I'm glad he told her to sling her hook. She's no loss and this is not about you, it's all about her and her jealously and insecurity. Vile. Don't give it another thought!

OP, I just want to say that you and your husband are amazing people and your boy is lucky with such parents. No amount of good health could make up for the team the two of you make.

Your "friend" is an asshole. I agree with your husband's assesment. She is likely very unhappy and, since misery loves company, wants you to be miserable too.

You description of your marriage brought tears to my eyes. Ignore the shitty "friend". I hope you have some better friends than her or will have soon. I also hope you health willl improve in time. But take care of yourself, because you deserve it.

This is such a weird and pointless discussion we are having. Didn't know you were the judge of 'how to respond to an aibu thread'. I have learnt, oh wise one.

Sadly, some people do judge when it comes to illness/disability. But they see your good days, and not the days you are struggling and recovering.

What makes your friend vile in all of this was that she vocalised her thoughts on your situation, when she really should have kept them to herself.

OP, i think you must be a very lovely person, to attract such love and devotion from your husband. It sounds as if your real friends are also very supportive and understanding, and that is because you are giving them love and support in return.On the whole , people don’t choose their partners and friends out of some sort of martyr complex, they choose them because they are kind and loving people.

That’s what your ex friend can’t grasp, and why she probably has few friends herself.

OP specifically asked if we thought others might be judging her.
The thread has essentially turned into a character assassination of her friend, which, strictly speaking, isn’t what OP asked about. She asked if others would share the same view.

I read the OP differently, I must say. Either way, it stands to reason that of course some people will judge the OP. People will have different opinions on what they believe to be factual, or what makes sense to them, as they see it.

He/she is sharing an alternative view, in what is otherwise an echo chamber thread.
OP specifically asked if we thought others might be judging her.
The thread has essentially turned into a character assassination of her friend, which, strictly speaking, isn’t what OP asked about. She asked if others would share the same view.

She doesn't sound like a nice person at all OP.

I think people do judge, yes, whether they mean to or not. But real friends will try to understand and be kind.
I'm also on PIP and had to leave work due to health reasons, and I hate how so many people instantly see me as either work shy or lazy.

Hold your head up high, OP, you've done nothing wrong.

Nutshell

Your 'friend' is jealous. Your dh sounds like a keeper, her dh may not be that nice behind the closed doors of their fancy house.

Real friends don't judge this kind of stuff. I'm sorry that they haven't found the right medication for you.

That poster has posted almost the same thing three times. They haven't responded to any counter arguments. It's quite clear that they are posting their own thoughts, which are ableist and ignorant. It's also pretty obvious that they're doing it to cause upset. This isn't someone thoughtfully giving their opinion about what the OPs friends are thinking, is it.

OP asked if we think she is being judged by others, as her friend has clearly judged her. She has then received 3 pages of affirmations, people telling her her friend is a nasty jealous bitch and no one should be judging her. But the fact remains that her friend has her opinion, and it’s quite possible others do too. The poster who sent the extract from the book was just giving a different perspective, one which others may have. As far as I can tell, that is precisely what the OP was asking - “will people be judging me?”.
She asked a question, she got answers.

It’s unfair to call people a troll if you don’t like the answer they give.

Bloody hell. What exactly are you hoping to achieve with this post? Why are you judging someone for not working when their lack of work has zero impact on your life? What a thoroughly unpleasant attitude you have.

But what's her opinion? What would you take from that statement? She's clearly trying to insinuate that OP is 'making up' her epilepsy, isn't she.

And taking that further, she's also saying that anything 'in your mind' ie psychological is not believable.

If you think that's acceptable then....

She’s petty for judging you. Doesn’t sound like she is much of a friend and I don’t know why she is making you feel bad but highlighting what she thinks you should have. As long as you are happy with your life that is all that matters.

You are being ridiculous.

It is had enough for someone who has no disabilities to work, let alone someone who is like the OP.

Also, some illnesses become worse with stress, which is what is happening in the OP's case.

You are lucky that you are able to work. The OP has tried and cannot.

Your husband sounds like he's really got your back.

Your "friend" sounds like a nasty bitch, and you are definitely well shot of her.

Why would she be a troll? She’s just quoting a book. OP has posted on AIBU, wanting genuine opinions. This poster is giving an opinion. It’s clearly not what OP will want to hear, but that’s the nature of AIBU. If you don’t want to know, don’t ask.

One thing I have learned since DH became disabled 12 years ago is that the situation for each person with a disability is completely different both physically and in their personal life. PP on here with disabilities openly judging should be ashamed of themselves. OP you need to do what works for you and your family. It is absolutely no one else’s business. Your DH is loving and supportive and that’s all that matters. Cut your ‘friend’ off and don’t give her another thought.

What she might be judging as well, though, is you having a child that you're unable to look after or be left alone with for long periods, and that you conceived that child post-diagnosis. If she's struggling with infertility, and feels that she and her DH can provide a fantastic childhood, she's likely bitter that you've had a child in less-than-ideal circumstances when she can't have one.

That may well be the case, but it is the OP, and her Husband's choice to have had a child. The Husband would have been more than aware of the OP's condition. He is doing what he should be doing anyway, so I am not sure why he is being praised so much. People looking in, from the outside never really have any idea how challenging it can be living with a disability.