To give 18 year old a curfew?

Why would it be a problem if she does?!

It’s none of your bloody business who she has sex with.

Why would this be a problem?

I went to agricultural college at 16 so no curfew from then

My dads rules were
We had an emergency word, I could ring or text with it any time and he would pick me up no questions asked
There was always money for a taxi available
I had to say what time I would be home, even if I said 3am that was fine but I couldn't be late
Don't wake everyone up

I think you need to go to bed. Don’t text her again, continue to do that and she will stop responding when she goes out.

Let her enjoy her evening out

Assuming curfews are to keep her safe?
It's worrying for most parents when teen/young adult DC are out late, but you have to trust her.
Is she generally sensible?
She has a phone that she can at least call you on if she's in trouble.

Well, that would be none of your business whatsoever. You have just as much right to question her sex life as she does to question yours.

Gently, you need to have a word with yourself.

Bloody hell. You really need to leave her alone to enjoy herself. Messaging her three times? Before the pubs have even closed?! That’s really unfair on her. You’re infantilising her and you’re basically allowing your anxieties to affect her life. She’s a grown woman.

You mentioned that she has just left sixth form. Is she planning on going to university in a couple of months? Or maybe starting work? How could you possibly think an adult student, or an adult working alongside other adults, should have a curfew?

No one should be allowed to disturb others as they come in no matter what age but if they are quiet no it is unreasonable to give a curphew

And what if she does?? It’s totally normal to be having sex at that age!

Agree with many posters, especially @mrsfollowill . I have had four through this stage, and the new 2am is 4am, or 6am, basically nocturnal. I would add that my (now very low requirements) are 1) if you are going to stop out all night, it is fine, but you must send a text or a message just to let us know that you are safe 2) keep your phone charged 3) don't end up on your own 4) you DO NOT bring people back unless previously agreed and you don't make a racket when you come in. My younger children have accepted that I have them on a snapmap (from snapchat) I have sworn on my life that I will not be looking and fretting, but in an absolute emergency, I will have to look. And I have kept my promise. The trouble is, you cannot help worrying, especially at first. It does get easier as you have more of these nights, and the trust builds up. I have found with last 3 of my 4 that they self regulate eventually - they are just down the McDonald's drive in at 3am after having a film binge at a friends, yet I can't sleep because I am imagining they are being attacked in an alleyway after getting hopelessly drunk. The reality vs my view of it is SO different. We have had our moments (especially with the first one). After saying all this, don't feel bad for asking - maybe 3 times is too much, OR setting some rules, but I get this from my youngest, same sort of message, he says later that he knows that it is because I really love him, but I should "chill out a bit". Hope this helps x

No chance. I even worry they've been abducted if they're out in the garden on their own and I can't hear them. 😭

Mine had a curfew of 10pm on school nights despite being 18 unless it was a friends birthday, concert etc. I was supporting them on their education and they completely respected that. On weekends and holidays no curfew from 18.

I stayed out after midnight at 17 even. 18 shouldn’t have a curfew tbh.

This will probably happen at university. I feel parents allow DC to have partners sleep over but don't allow One Night Stands.

So the ideal is that you've discussed a lot of these situations with her and planned with her what she would do.

In fairness she sounds like a very level headed young lady who has a lot of common sense.

Usually curfews are relaxed as teens get older. Mine stayed out all night and slept at a friends house. This often meant they could either walk back (no reliance on taxis etc) or the party was already there.

Mine are only 10 and 7, but every time I think about this, I feel sick. I've no idea how I'm going to cope with it!!

Have some sensible rules in place. But I wouldn't give her a curfew.

@CalamityClam your post about the shoes has made me laugh! I go for at least 2 nighttime toilet trips and I check if his bedroom door is open or shut- if it's shut he's in as I leave it open on purpose.

If the door is open (and he is not in his bed as I peer around it) I can see the spot in the hall his shoes live- if they are there all is good.

The other week door open and no shoes at 5:00am so I panicked a bit and came downstairs for an emergency cup of tea and fag- was standing at the backdoor trying to to be zen and rational and the little sod waltzed out of the lounge. He had been drinking water and sobering up. 'Night mum' he called through as he went upstairs!

Yes, because she’s an adult.

Depends on the situation if it was OTT or not. Barn party in the middle of nowhere. Not OTT. Town centre venue with a group of friends. Yes OTT.

It's all about teaching them safety planning for each event. Discussing with them how they're going to deal with getting home. What's their solution? What if a friend gets drunk? What will you do in an emergency?

DD was going to walk through the dodgiest part of town alone, 1am, aged 16, after a party. We had a discussion about that one. She refused to get a taxi or let me collect her. We continued discussing until we came to a solution she and I were happy with.

You've got to train them to think through how to best keep themselves safe. Arbitrary curfews do nothing. Collecting them from everything means they never learn how to plan to get safely home when you're not there.