Saying no to childcare in the holidays

Cheeky fucker.

Do you have them all day? Does she send food for them?

What's "CF"?

If your DC would enjoy seeing their cousins, message her and suggest you have a family meet-up at some point that includes all of the relevant parents, rather than you having to look after 6 children by yourself

Only manipulative scum would send a message having deliberately upset her children and tried to use their upset to guilt a generous person into MORE free childcare.

Scum who never return the favour.
Keep your distance OP and find your anger.

Time to go NC @Aprilmaymum - how awful for you to be put in such a position - that is out and out manipulation on their part.

If Sil is so keen for the cousins to be together arrange a date ......................on the very last day of the summer holidays!! Cheeky mare!!

In reply to families help each other out say great when can you provide childcare for our kids as I'm sure you'd love to return the favour and I'm sure it must have just slipped your mind to offer

Excellent.

And just say the same if she asks next week. Or the week after.

F that.
Tell DH to do it.
Silently leave their lives

So they went off to America for a month?
That's 8 weeks worth of holiday time between them and they expect free childcare from you?
Stop with the niceties and tell them to get fucked

I am sure they do not need 8hrs plus to be with their cousins. Perhaps arrange to visit them one Sunday afternoon if they wish to see your children.

You are definitely not being unreasonable. I am a full time teacher and I obviously get the holidays off. A couple of friends this year have asked if I can help out with childcare. I have 3 children of my own, a classroom to sort, a house to sort as that slips in term time and I am just exhausted. Also my husband works from home so I try to minimise the noise and adding extra children means I can't go out in the car. I found it hard to say no as I like to help but also I thought it was a bit cheeky. I don't ask them to use their annual leave to look after my children. As it is I have had their children round a couple of times as they are friends of my children but it is on my terms, on days that suit me and for a few hours rather than an 8 hour day.

Sounds like his family bully you. Your husbands need to put an end to that.

Bingo.

SIL would run a mile if you expected her to have six kids for 10 hours.

I’d send her and BIL a message saying “heard your children are upset at not seeing [dc names], if you want to have my children over on one of your days off work, do let me know.”

people like this always want to maintain family relationships, and cousins are important people for their dcs to spend time with, right up until the point they have to do the work.

Exactly. Theres a big difference between 3 kids and six as well! Stick to your guns op, she’s cheeky, entitled and rude.

On this comment I'd let rip to the whole family to make sure that EVERYONE knows what you have said to the comment and for me it would go like something like this:

Sil - I am disgusted that you have tried to use your children to blackmail me into looking after your kids for you while you go out to work. Just because I don't work outside the home doesn't mean that I don't work, nor does it mean that I am your on-call childminder whenever you or BiL feel like it. I've been contacted by every single member of the family saying that I've upset you, and you are crying and your kids are upset. Well I can tell you now, I am furious. You should never have told your children that they would be able to spend time with their cousins BEFORE something had been arranged. This is entirely YOUR fault here and I will not accept any part in it. I am unavailable to look after Billy and George for the remainder of the summer so please stop asking now. You and BiL need to arrange your own paid childcare for your kids. Their childcare is not my issue to resolve for you.

Or perhaps something less wordy but that gets the same point across.

I'm livid on your behalf here @Aprilmaymum. They have brass necks, both BiL and his oh-so-presumptuous wife of his.

EVery parent s entitled to 18 weeks unpaid parental leave in total until the age of 18. N more than 4 weeks in a year. Has to be taken as a full week.

if they book that today, in 21 days they are allowed to use it, so that will cover the end of the holidays, if go back as late as my kids do - or Oct half term sorted.

i am sure you are losing out on pension contributions and financially by choosing to be at home, whereas they have chosen pensions and income. Does not mean other people have to pay for their choices.

I would make sure I am either out or doorbell is off and block her for the 3 days incase she decides to turn up and drop them off anyway!

I would really struggle to be friends with her after telling the children you said no, I wouldn’t be friends with someone who twisted facts like that. Acquaintances yes, for family sake but friends no. I’d leave it to the brothers to ensure the cousins keep their bond in future. Dragging other family members into it and again twisting facts (or actually not even telling the story at all) is very manipulative.

Agreed.

Spot on!

Exactly this. If you give an inch, things will quickly balloon out of control. You need to have a clean and clear cut 'no'.

I’m sure your family will respect you for standing up for yourself

They now need to take days off for emergency childcare reasons. I bet they'll never forget to book holiday club again. Don't cave in to the pressure.