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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder why there are so many life coaches

130 replies

Eastie77Returns · 03/08/2024 20:06

My Linkedin feed is awash with former colleagues and acquaintances who have become life coaches. It seems as if every other person is now qualified to guide me through whatever life stage I'm at even though there is no official credential necessary to call yourself a coach. My extrememly toxic former manager has set herself up as a fertility coach - an area she has zero experience in.

Another coach pitched her services to me the other day via LN. She coaches 'Senior Female Professionals' and offers a package for £485 consisting of a few sessions in which she helps women cope with burnout, manage your career with kids, elevate your personal brand and reach C-suite positions. All fine except her profile revealed she is about 25 years old and has 2 years professional experience😂

On the one hand it is great that so many people who want to branch out into self employment are able to do so. On the other hand, AIBU to think that this coaching industry is largely a lot of nonsense, targetting (mainly) women and persuading them to pay out £££ to receive common sense advice or stuff you can just download on the internet for free?

OP posts:
Original poster
Eastie77Returns · 03/08/2024 22:25

TipsyJoker · 03/08/2024 20:18

I’m not sure you fully understand what life coaching actually is. There are so many different modes of life coaching from transformational to NLP. Whilst it’s true that you don’t need to be qualified to become a life coach, I would advise anyone looking for one to only work with one who is qualified and accredited. There are plenty of highly qualified, life coaches out there who genuinely care about making people’s lives better.
Whether that’s their career, relationships, health, etc there are many different avenues and people benefit greatly from life coaches. Going to a good life coach isn’t really that much different than having a personal trainer for example. No-one seems to think that’s outlandish. And whilst you might be able to go onto YouTube and get the same exercises a personal trainer would provide, you wouldn’t get the personalised service with that looking into your diet, your areas of weakness or where you excel, guidance, encouragement, goals setting, motivation, accountability and so on that will undoubtedly help you reach your goals and usually with greater speed. Having a life coach is no different. The personal service you get, as well as the expertise is what you’re paying for. If it’s not for you then it’s not for you. There’s no issue with that. However, many people benefit greatly from working with a life coach and anything that makes people’s lives better is a good thing in my book.

Edited

I don’t think a personal trainer (specialised skill, helps improve health and fitness = tangible outcomes) and a life coach are similar.

I genuinely don’t understand what kind of expertise they provide. Every life coach I’ve heard (my company pays for quite a few to run webinars and sessions at my place of work) repeats stuff that just sounds like eveyday, common sense to me. One came in recently to advise us on how to cope with work stress. He spent an hour showing us PowerPoint slides that had life changing advice like ‘get lots of sleep’, ‘stay hydrated’ and ‘find joy in small moments’. He was paid ££££ for this. I’m clearly in the wrong job!

OP posts:
Allyoudoistalktalk · 03/08/2024 22:16

I liken it to the twilight saga …

You know - more vampires = more people forced into becoming werewolves …

But with coaching it’s :
More influencers = more random coaches

Most of whom are not qualified or experienced enough and apparently all of whom are making 6 figure months/ weeks/ days / topping hay house author list …

madness - i once got quoted about 7 grand for a 2 day exec coaching experience and some 1-1
sessions.
Also I know “ Nog all coaches “

I actually have a lovely coach and she charges reasonable fees and has been more helpful than therapy in helping me attune my life …

coldcallerbaiter · 03/08/2024 22:15

TimoteiChaletpants · 03/08/2024 20:30

The two that I know have both made a complete mess of their own personal or working lives.

Same. I know a life coach, with a messy private life, has as much stress as anyone else, actually more. It’s smoke and mirrors with her facade to customers.

blueshoes · 03/08/2024 22:09

Xmasiscomingearlier · 03/08/2024 21:26

People do sometimes think the costs are high but coaches have overheads and are running a business with the associated costs apart from the time they talk to a client.

Someone once said to me, if working with a coach saves you your marriage, or helps you walk away, or helps you get a great job with £10Kpa more, would you begrudge paying less than the cost of a package holiday?

The question is, does it work? No way of knowing that upfront

Why pay the cost of a holiday when you can go on a nice holiday instead.

OldTinHat · 03/08/2024 22:06

Really? That's all very Y2K, everyone I knew then was setting themselves up as a 'life coach' or, what's the other thing, yes, NLP!

That's a bit desperate if it is having a resurgence.

Izzosaura · 03/08/2024 22:06

Eastie77Returns · 03/08/2024 20:06

My Linkedin feed is awash with former colleagues and acquaintances who have become life coaches. It seems as if every other person is now qualified to guide me through whatever life stage I'm at even though there is no official credential necessary to call yourself a coach. My extrememly toxic former manager has set herself up as a fertility coach - an area she has zero experience in.

Another coach pitched her services to me the other day via LN. She coaches 'Senior Female Professionals' and offers a package for £485 consisting of a few sessions in which she helps women cope with burnout, manage your career with kids, elevate your personal brand and reach C-suite positions. All fine except her profile revealed she is about 25 years old and has 2 years professional experience😂

On the one hand it is great that so many people who want to branch out into self employment are able to do so. On the other hand, AIBU to think that this coaching industry is largely a lot of nonsense, targetting (mainly) women and persuading them to pay out £££ to receive common sense advice or stuff you can just download on the internet for free?

I had a few sessions with a life coach once - someone who normally charged a lot of money but helped me for free as a favour to my lovely late mum.

She was fantastic. It was a direct result of our time together that I found the courage for a big career change that has left me so much happier and with a better work-life balance too.

However... she was I suspect unusually good. She had been doing it for twenty years and had an interesting and varied career before that. She had coached some really successful and senior people in various professions but was just as useful for me in a relatively junior role.

Basically: I think life coaching can be great but no way do I believe the majority of people who offer it are likely to have a great deal to offer. It's the wild west. Sadly counselling is little better.

blueshoes · 03/08/2024 22:05

Xmasiscomingearlier · 03/08/2024 21:26

People do sometimes think the costs are high but coaches have overheads and are running a business with the associated costs apart from the time they talk to a client.

Someone once said to me, if working with a coach saves you your marriage, or helps you walk away, or helps you get a great job with £10Kpa more, would you begrudge paying less than the cost of a package holiday?

What overheads do coaches have?

bonzaitree · 03/08/2024 22:04

I think there’s a market for life coaches because people feel so confused and overwhelmed with modern life.

So many people seem lost.

HappyLittleNarwhal · 03/08/2024 22:03

The very successful senior people I know all have coaches or mentors of some kind. I have done wee bits of it here and there and found it v helpful.

Berga · 03/08/2024 22:02

Xmasiscomingearlier · 03/08/2024 21:27

I said in my next post that counselling isn't regulated but any counsellor worth their salt would be with the BACP.

Show quote history

Obviously that was a cross post as I can't read your mind and you've contradicted yourself between your posts.

LennyBobenny · 03/08/2024 21:56

I’m lucky enough to know a few very high earning individuals, they all have life coaches who they credit with helping to focus them and reach their goals. In high flying entrepreneurial jobs they are very common.

I’d suggest that if any are involved with MLM FB style outfits they’re not the life coaches that can make a big difference to people, and are best avoided, just like you’d probably avoid the FB style ads selling anything dodgy. I’d go so far as to say that these are scammers setting up ads to drag in gullible people. Meanwhile the real, successful life coaches are out there life coaching.

MN takes a very dim view of this sort of thing though.

EmeraldRoulette · 03/08/2024 21:39

@Helpmymumplease it’s work related stuff though. There’s a vast amount of knowledge on here but when I have posted, I haven’t found anyone who has been able to help…well maybe on one or two occasions… but again online interaction - oh so depressing to have to do yet more of it.

I just remembered something else as well…I once drunk posted on MN at about 1 am. I had just been to a do where a couple of senior work bods thanked me publicly and said they could not have achieved their great heights without my support…and I posted on here saying “how the fuck have I ended up being so supportive to other people and I haven’t got where I wanted to go.”

Those two both had regular coaching! I might drop them a line and get the names.

ChildlessCatLadiesRuleOK · 03/08/2024 21:39

FranceIsWhereItsAt · 03/08/2024 20:17

I think it's all a load of old nonsense, and if you're daft enough to spend money on this sort of thing, then you've clearly got more money than sense.

It's the placebo effect isn't it? A bit like paying £100 for a seaweed detox wrap. It has no quantifiable benefit, but the fact that you are spending money on yourself and taking a half day off to do it gives you a psychological boost.

MadameMassiveSalad · 03/08/2024 21:34

Oh god.

I know someone who is a Money Manifestation Coach.

It's such fucking snake oil.

I mean surely if you could just manifest it, you wouldn't be flogging your wears as a coach would you?

GenAvocadoOnToast · 03/08/2024 21:33

@EmeraldRoulette have you heard of Body Doubling? I've seen it mentioned on the ADHD threads. This sort of thing https://www.deepwrk.io/

Topofthemountain · 03/08/2024 21:33

EllenLRipley · 03/08/2024 21:18

It's an MLM model - life coaches training new life coaches is the main earner - not being a life coach. It's a massive scam

Yes, this. The ones drumming up business on Facebook are not going to give you any advice that you wouldn't find on a meme page.

Xmasiscomingearlier · 03/08/2024 21:31

VividQuoter · 03/08/2024 21:29

easy money

Do you say the same about counselling?

Xmasiscomingearlier · 03/08/2024 21:30

Jc2001 · 03/08/2024 21:28

It may have been mentioned already but there is a great episode of Peep Show where Jez becomes a life coach with absolutely no qualifications and just wings it. Just it's a pretty good reflection on what life coaching really is.

No, it would be showing what a BAD life coach is.
Many coaches have qualifications and it's unfair to dismiss all of them.
The same for counsellors. And 'nutritionists' and some 'tutors'.

VividQuoter · 03/08/2024 21:29

easy money

PizzaWithHummus · 03/08/2024 21:29

Think it’s basically an MLM of sorts, I see a lot of them selling how to become a life coach type advice to sucker other people into this nothing burger career

Jc2001 · 03/08/2024 21:28

It may have been mentioned already but there is a great episode of Peep Show where Jez becomes a life coach with absolutely no qualifications and just wings it. Just it's a pretty good reflection on what life coaching really is.

Xmasiscomingearlier · 03/08/2024 21:27

Berga · 03/08/2024 21:25

Counselling isn't regulated. Nothing to stop anyone setting up as a counsellor. There are professional bodies, and if you are looking.h.fur a counsellor obviously you want a trained and registered one, but it's not a registered profession.

Show quote history

I said in my next post that counselling isn't regulated but any counsellor worth their salt would be with the BACP.

HungryWombat · 03/08/2024 21:27

Was that someone convincing you to sign up to train as a life coach?!

Fizbosshoes · 03/08/2024 21:27

A fb acquaintance is a (life) coach. She posts lots of vague stuff on social media with pics of clouds and inspirational quotes. Sometimes she runs works shops abroad but if I look at the itinary I can't make sense of what I'd actually be doing/be getting for the money! I literally can't understand how she could make a living out of it.

Helpmymumplease · 03/08/2024 21:26

EmeraldRoulette · 03/08/2024 21:21

@Eastie77Returns Hi! (I was Emma on here during our home moves)

Your post has got me thinking…

There’s nothing new here but sounds like there’s been a resurgence?

I am thinking about seeing one myself. Obviously the cost puts me off - and the fact that they now don’t seem to meet in person.

for me it’s because I can’t motivate myself anymore. In the past I had forms of support, but now I haven’t, I wondered if it would be useful and also help with being isolated. Even someone just taking an interest in my ideas would be really helpful, someone to bounce ideas off.

I haven’t gone for it so far partly because I worry that I’d let them down and partly I have yet to find somebody who actually works in person with clients.

The reason this post got me thinking is that if there has been a resurgence, I wonder if it’s people having similar needs to mine. In fact as I type …I’ve just remembered someone else who went to a group coaching thing one night a week and it really helped her as well. And it was much cheaper than individual sessions.

I wonder how much of it is just about having that support. I mean props to people who can manage without it, but my current lack of achievement shows that I’m not one of them 😂

Seriously, be careful about spaffing money on this stuff. You sound down on yourself and like you’re lacking social support in the real world. I’m sorry about that :( But it makes you open to financial exploitation. It sounds like you don’t need professional services so much as peer to peer advice and listening.

You could post on mumsnet for support and advice: it’s free and very active, and IME there are some great and very knowledgeable posters here.