Friends have no interest in my child

I agree with this. Friends should care about you and want to know you are OK x

If you do have children, other people's children are not always that interesting either. I have absolutely no interest in holding babies or cuddling/being close with other people's children. I love my own and tolerate others if I'm honest. I do like children I just don't understand loving other people's. I am autistic but I don't think it's just my autism to be honest, I know a lot of people who aren't bothered with other people's kids. Of course I do have some friends who seem to genuinely love and form connections with other people's children but I personally find myself to be indifferent.

I HAVE NEVER SAID I WANT BABY TO BE FOCUS. HAPPY TO MEET WITH NO BABY

I’m guessing they don’t know that though and expect it will happen. If your child is young they may think that you will suggest meeting and baby will be with you for feeding, or they will be subject to looking at baby photos and baby talk. So, it might not be your expectation but may be theirs?

Can I just say I totally agree with you! Some people on here have very low set bars. At no point are you demanding your child is revererred in some way, but it is very obvious that their interactions towards you has changed. You can feel it.
Even if they are not interested in your baby that doesn't mean they cant text YOU and ask how YOU are doing.
Would your DP be okay with you offering àn open ended invitation, was there a certain day you used to meet up?

'anyone interested in meeting up for a coffee/drink .one Thursday evenjng over the next few weeks, as DP is able to have the baby on those days. If so can we arrange a date? Would love to see you x

On a positive for their side their lives will be busy and they will think your life will be so busy so it may not be purely negative. Every now and again I meet up with 2 school friends fir a meal out but we didnt for a long time (no kids issue, in our 50s )I became really aware i wasnt doing much to maintain that, another friend was, and i felf realky guilty! I now try to do the 'reach out' or send a how sre you text x x. Even though there's only 3 of us to 'organise' actually the last 4 meals out have just been 2 as the 3rd has, genuinely, been unable to find the time, as lives are so busy.

I hope you feel better knowing there are some on here who 'get' it x x

I care about my friends kids, seems I'm weird though, seeing as there are only a few of us on this thread.

I have great relationships with these kids too, we look forward to seeing each other!

I'm sorry your friends haven't been as interested as you'd like, unfortunately this thread shows this is normal.

I am a grandmother. I adore my granddaughter. Recently my friend became a gm and yesterday l realised l had very little interest in her gc. Of course she was gushing with excitement and l listened but inside l wasn't all in. We will still be close friends but it's amazing how blood ties even make gc the centre of your life..but not of others. Keep the friendships. They will stand to you for life but let go all expectations for your baby.

What does someone have to be interested in your child to be friends with you?

If your life revolves around your child you can't see this then yes you have bigger issues

Well I’ve got a 16 and 12 year old. 16 year old was the first baby born of our group
of friends abd they all loved DC to bits. Over the years we now have 9 between us and we barely know each others kids - to the point, they wouldn’t recognise the adults and vice vecer. We live in different cities and are busy. We’re still friends but it’s definitely harder.

Don’t take it to heart OP

My close friends and I all care about each other's kids. This seems odd to be so disinterested.

It doesn't mean that's all we talk about but they are our kids. Of course we talk about them. Just like we talk about our parents, partners, dating, all of it.

I love my friends kids. They are amazing, just like my friends.

Why can't you just be friends with them and not talk about the baby? I get what you mean, it's a bit hurtful but if they're not interested, they're not interested. I only realised after having children I was exactly the same with my friends that had kids. I always asked how they were, but not much more than that (because I didn't really care. Equally I never ask people about their pets)

I also think you need to be aware that some people can't have children or haven't found the right partner to create a family with (me at the moment). I find it really difficult when I hear that a friend or acquaintance has had a baby. I'm supposed to be overjoyed for me but in reality, it's hard and painful for me. You need to understand that perhaps people have other things going on.

I went and made baby friends as I knew no one with children and this was the best thing ever. I am grateful to this day to these women.

I am not interested in my friends children. Don't take their uninterest personally.

I remember feeling exactly the same OP... my best friends in the world really weren't that interested in my baby. We still went out as friends a lot though and when they had their firsts ten years after mine, they got it.

I feel that no one really cares about other people's kids that much unless it's close family. I have no desire to see Facebook pictures of other peoples kids first day at school etc, no-one wants to see it, save it for the family album.

Tell them how you are feeling (using "I feel" rather than "you make me feel"!)

I also have a group of friends from school and I was the last to have a baby. Oh my god the amount of times I have apologised to them 😂 I just had no idea.

When they had their babies I would go round with flowers and a gift, have a cuddle, and then let them drop off the face of the earth until they were ready to start drinking again.

If any of them ever felt like you do, I'd have hoped that they'd have messaged to say that they were feeling a bit neglected so that I could have corrected that. I always just assumed they were busy being mums and knackered.

You are new parents and as a parent of course your baby its your everything. But not gor your friends.

my sons are my everything but i dont like other people kids. I dont like kids. Only like my kids. I dont even ask about my bestfriend kids and i find it annoying if i met new parents and all they talk about their new baby. In their eyes the baby its cute but not in my eyes. I just dont like baby. Maybe you can tone in down a bit. Your friends like and love you but doesnt meant they need to love your baby like you do. It takes time.

Very good points

Glad you’re a good friend @ZadelRoad.
Will mean the world when a friend of yours has a new baby.

You are free to make whatever assumptions you like about someone over a random short post on the internet. That says more about you than me as you know not a thing about me from that very tiny insignificant snippet.
But hope you feel better for it 🙂

Except in this case the OP’s friends have barely acknowledged her child in seven months… OP hasn’t had chance to be incapable of talking about anything else.

Did you actually read the OP?!

I couldn't have cared less about baby stuff before I had DC. I was still in my career & travel bubble. I was expected to drop talking about those interests & listen to pregnancy & baby talk. I could do it for a while, but sitting around while babies played was dull. I tried my best but really wanted to enjoy life before I had DC myself.

Tbh, once I had DC, those same mums were disparaging about babies & how happy they are to be past that & refused to make accommodations for me.

I admit I have never been interested in other people's babies or children. Even friends's children.

OP has suggested exactly that and been ignored.

YABU.

And self-obsessed. And unrealistic.

When you are childfree yourself there is nothing in the world more irritating, noisy, smelly, unhygienic & generally boring than other people’s children. And there is NOTHING more bloody tedious than new parents who are incapable of talking about anything else.