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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be panicking about DC’s employability post uni?

331 replies

NeedXanaxPlease · 03/08/2024 17:18

DD is going into the final year of an Anthropology degree (might get a first but probably a 2:1) from a top RG uni. Has done a Fine Art foundation year. Always worked part time since finishing A-levels (Maths, English Lit, Art), first as a barista/front of house/waitressing, then as an after-school nanny during uni.
She loves working, is highly responsible, great people skills (and people judgement) and quite numerate/commercially savvy. She is a great kid and would be an asset to any team. But… she hasn’t had a single internship so no “relevant” work experience (didn’t get her act together after first year and a long recovery post an operation for a sporting injury after second year) nor does she really know what she wants to do after graduation. She is definitely not pursuing the classic investment banking, Bain/BCG/McKinsey, accountancy, law routes.
I am now feeling highly anxious and helpless as I don’t know how to support/guide her. I did the classic Tier 1 strategy consulting, MBA, corporate M&A so I am spending hours each week helping my friends’ kids who want to pursue this path (mock case studies, mock interviews, CV reviews) but am at a complete loss re how to help my own. I feel that I am spiralling. This is not helped by my being involved in graduate recruitment at my work – CVs I see are all full of Economics/Management/Sciences degrees, multiple internships/work experiences/summer schools – they are highly structured and tick all the boxes (to an extent where I can’t differentiate between them). My DD wouldn’t stand a chance on paper.
Sage mumsnetters, please reassure me that she can get a job without internships and with a “soft” degree? Does she stand a chance with graduate schemes? Should she even bother applying? What potential career routes she could explore?

OP posts:
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NeedXanaxPlease · 03/08/2024 22:01

@CormorantStrikesBack

Sometimes people fall into random niche well paid jobs by accident on non grad schemes.

sure, I totally believe that, I guess what I am after is what are those niche well paid jobs?

PAs Stripe are millionaires now - right time, right place - not sure I’d count on that although it’s quite a tempting dream to nurture…It does happen… just never to me or anyone I know

OP posts:
PuppyFeet · 03/08/2024 21:59

NeedXanaxPlease · 03/08/2024 17:46

What are those paths though? As you might have guessed from my post, my world is quite limited to finance. I am actually happy she is not doing it - I have seen enough women chewed up and spat out in these roles - but I am not familiar with what else is out there (that is not STEM/finance/law) that pays enough to have a semi-decent quality of life in London.

To answer your question re what she enjoys - problem solving, pace, probably projects/variety, rather than routine, degree of creativity, seeing specific outcome/result.

To answer your question re what she enjoys - problem solving, pace, probably projects/variety, rather than routine, degree of creativity, seeing specific outcome/result.

The hospitality business would satisfy all those needs… look at management training programmes.

keepYourDogQuiet · 03/08/2024 21:57

What about a tax graduate job. Well paid and interesting according to nephew. Doesn't need a specific degree

CormorantStrikesBack · 03/08/2024 21:55

Sometimes people fall into random niche well paid jobs by accident on non grad schemes. I know people who have got jobs doing admin work after uni for companies unrelated to their degree. Shown an aptitude for the industry and being trained up and promoted quickly internally. Life is not over if you don’t get on a grad scheme.

TheSquareMile · 03/08/2024 21:55

NeedXanaxPlease · 03/08/2024 21:41

A rather individual sport (competitively) - too outing to name. Still doing her art and some commissions (not a lot - not much time left), quite an accomplished cook - think about own curry paste from scratch with pestle and mortar. Travel. Camping with uni/school friends. Well, and the part time job. As I said, she like problem solving - her friend from uni had symptoms that are indicative of a disease unlikely in someone so young but becoming increasingly disabling. The girl was fobbed off by GP 20 times. DD printed off NICE guidance, went with her to GP, strong armed an urgent pathway referral, the girl is now diagnosed, on treatment and getting PIP. DD is big into social justice.

@NeedXanaxPlease

Based on this, would she be interested in Medicine (Graduate Entry), such as via this course, for instance?

It's a massive undertaking and not for everyone, but I do know a handful of people who have done this.

www.sgul.ac.uk/study/courses/medicine-graduate-entry#entry-criteria

MumApril1990 · 03/08/2024 21:47

Just leave her to it. She doesn’t need your help.

Straightouttachelmsford · 03/08/2024 21:46

Estate Management Masters somewhere, tonnes of different career paths, very interesting...

There are tonnes of things she can do, let her get on with it.

Holluschickie · 03/08/2024 21:45

I totally get you on how heart attack inducing current recruitment practices are. Both my DC are suffering through this and its very stressful. Being interviewed by AI
endless psychometrics
personality tests
I think some people think hiring is done like it was 20 years ago.

cestlavielife · 03/08/2024 21:44

Legal conversion course
Ngo third sector
United Nations look at internship programmes if she prepared to travel

Winterjoy · 03/08/2024 21:42

NeedXanaxPlease · 03/08/2024 17:52

To find a job that doesn’t bore her out of her skull (at least not 100% of the time), where she can have impact, good (or at least non-toxic) culture, and where she can make a decent living and get a mortgage.., sounds pretty vague and high level to me.

TBH this combination sounds like the holy grail of employment and something only a small percentage of the workforce are ever lucky enough to find! But I think most of us start off hoping for this and temper expectations over time based on changing priorities as we move through life; I don't think it's something you can be told/taught (and it would probably be damaging to your relationship to try to do so).

NeedXanaxPlease · 03/08/2024 21:41

TheSquareMile · 03/08/2024 21:14

@NeedXanaxPlease

What kinds of activities does she enjoy outside of studying, OP?

I imagine her to be somewhat sporty, as you mention a sports injury in your post.

A rather individual sport (competitively) - too outing to name. Still doing her art and some commissions (not a lot - not much time left), quite an accomplished cook - think about own curry paste from scratch with pestle and mortar. Travel. Camping with uni/school friends. Well, and the part time job. As I said, she like problem solving - her friend from uni had symptoms that are indicative of a disease unlikely in someone so young but becoming increasingly disabling. The girl was fobbed off by GP 20 times. DD printed off NICE guidance, went with her to GP, strong armed an urgent pathway referral, the girl is now diagnosed, on treatment and getting PIP. DD is big into social justice.

OP posts:
NeedXanaxPlease · 03/08/2024 21:34

OK, not to be defensive, but I only started asking about a job search since before summer. Prompted by all my friends talking about internships, spring weeks and Finance master’s degrees. I then checked led graduate recruitment calendar and realised that DD missed the boat on internships. Then I looked at the recruitment processes - including in my own company - and completely freaked out. I only see CVs at the end and do interviews. I didn’t realise how many hoops one needs to jump to even see a human, let alone final rounds. That sent me into a complete tail spin. And the more I looked into it, the more it freaked me out. In good old days I got an offer from Goldman/Credit Suisse after 3 first round interviews and 1 “batch day”. Corporate - three(!!!!) interviews. Consulting - 3x3. That’s it! No verbal/numerical/psychometric tests.no endless online applications with AI making decisions. No assessment centres. No video recording answers to interview questions. Just good, old - send a CV with good academics, good cover letter and talk to a human. Current recruitment practices are heart attack inducing. I was unaware of how the world has changed.

OP posts:
shuggles · 03/08/2024 21:26

Aliciainwunderland · 03/08/2024 20:57

Not a great cv after graduation. 2.1 from RG - nothing that would stand me out. I started at the bottom in admin roles… data input/ recruitment coordinator ect. First salary was 22k. By 35 I earnt 6 figures having worked my way up from the bottom due to hard work, determination and a little bit of luck! Try not to worry - she’ll find her way, her own way

Edited

That would be mostly luck, not a little. Most educated employees have hard work and determination in spades, burning the candle at both ends well into evenings and weekends. The overwhelming majority of us don't get much further than the average salary nationwide.

ineedtogwtoutbeforeitatoohot · 03/08/2024 21:22

I have always told my kids not to go to uni unless they need to for their specific career. Time wasting and pointless apart from having a great social experience. A debt they could have dont without although I expect this is all covered by mummy and daddy. Time to cut the apron strings and let her make her way.

TheSquareMile · 03/08/2024 21:14

@NeedXanaxPlease

What kinds of activities does she enjoy outside of studying, OP?

I imagine her to be somewhat sporty, as you mention a sports injury in your post.

ineedtogwtoutbeforeitatoohot · 03/08/2024 21:10

What job does she want to do ?

EwwSprouts · 03/08/2024 21:10

Animatic · 03/08/2024 20:42

Ffs, how can interest and attention towards your child's career be qualified as "overinvested".
Reminiscent of that topic where the mum was wondering whether the kid should pick Imperial over Manchester Uni as she was worried he won't find drink buddies in the former (to much support of the audience).
OP is absolutely right. 19 is not old enough to ge let sail and do bartending post graduation if this can be avoided

You've taken OP's "highly anxious and helpless" and downgraded it to interest and attention. Of course most parents show interest, myself included.

OP says every 6 weeks so how many six weeks? Even just a few takes it back to asking since the middle of year 2. I see it as over invested as the young person needs enjoy the now (covid teenagers), focus on study and to work out for themself what path they want to follow. Careers fairs will come round this term and it will all start to seem more real.

OP's DD has great people skills and that is why DS took a summer bar job. Those skills will put them in front of many other graduates. Did you know big accountancy firms are having to put graduates on communication skills courses?

jeanne16 · 03/08/2024 20:57

Ignore all the posters saying leave your DD to sort out her own job. The best thing you can do is help her in every way you possibly can.

I helped both my DCs to apply for graduate jobs. It is a gruelling process and requires a lot of work. A helping hand and moral support is invaluable.

You can help with researching what jobs are available, proof read all applications, help with questions such as 'why do I want this role',etc. Before anyone shouts about this, they still have to do the interviews themselves.

The job market is tough and your DD needs all the help you can give.

Aliciainwunderland · 03/08/2024 20:57

Not a great cv after graduation. 2.1 from RG - nothing that would stand me out. I started at the bottom in admin roles… data input/ recruitment coordinator ect. First salary was 22k. By 35 I earnt 6 figures having worked my way up from the bottom due to hard work, determination and a little bit of luck! Try not to worry - she’ll find her way, her own way

brogueish · 03/08/2024 20:56

If she fancies exploring grad schemes, www.milkround.com worth a browse.

For Masters degrees, try www.findamasters.com

She could even study a completely different subject via a degree apprenticeship (pretty sure there isn’t one in anthropology - she’d have to do a DA in an unrelated field to her first degree) if she wants to start earning straight away https://www.ucas.com/apprenticeships/degree-apprenticeships

She has too many options open to her, if anything.

Milkround | Graduate Jobs, Schemes & Internships

The UK's most widely used student and graduate job website. Search and apply for the latest graduate jobs, schemes and internships from top UK employers today

http://www.milkround.com

NeedXanaxPlease · 03/08/2024 20:56

I am so, so grateful to all those who offered real advice/insight/perspective/options to consider. This is mega helpful, I am processing it all and will discuss those areas with DD and let her take it forward. Those who accuse me of tunnel vision and telling me how that the world is not limited to investment banking/consulting/accountancy, clearly haven’t read my op or updates. I know that - which is precisely why I posted - to ask what those options are given DD’s academics and background. Listing random jobs like pilot, hair dresser and make up artist is helpful how in this situation?

I am not going to debate whether one can be poor and happy but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want your DC to at least be solvent and aspire to a mortgage by mid-30s on own flat rather than living in a house share in one’s mid-forties (like my lovely hairdresser).

I was looking for ideas on what career paths might be suitable and I received plenty of those. It is reassuring to hear that lack of internships is not going to be “be all/end all” of a graduate job search.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 03/08/2024 20:53

She must have some idea of career path. She can look at entire list of graduate schemes surely? Something might interest her. Journalism? Teaching? Civil service? Or masters or go to teach in Japan or ?

Moonlaserbearwolf · 03/08/2024 20:47

In reality, it’s a misogynistic, toxic cesspit which I would steer my loved ones away from. As are most of our industry peers. I am a burnt out stress ball and my escapist dream is being a supermarket cashier. But I can pay a mortgage, school fees, skiing holidays, and don’t need to think “heating or eating”

I think the statement above shows what a warped sense of reality you have after working in the banking/consulting industry so long. It’s completely understandable - I’d say most of my friends in your sector feel the same. Now in their 40s, I don’t know many happy bankers amongst my friends. They are all counting down the years until they can retire (not nearly as early as their predecessors unfortunately).

It’s ok to have a different career (or indeed several different careers over a lifetime) which pay less. You just spend less. It’s not a choice of banking/law/consultancy or poverty.

I know if the Borneo comment was serious, but if it was, she should go for it!

It will be ok, OP. Your daughter sounds fantastic and she will find her own path.

LaughingCat · 03/08/2024 20:46

NeedXanaxPlease · 03/08/2024 19:05

Super grateful for all suggestions, going through all of them, will summarize takeaways later

Creative, hardworking, diligent, good with people, problem-solver - sounds perfect for either a comms or strategy/policy role, especially if she loves London. She’s not into material possessions/high life - check out the Civil Service Fast Track scheme. She’d be working on shaping policy at the highest levels, tackling some of the most difficult issues of our times and/or communicating some of the most high-profile campaigns. I’m in media relations, personally, and find it both challenging and satisfying. Move from there into think tanks/lobby groups. Pay isn’t private sector but decent in the Civil Service (think £60-£80k middle management outside London) and the contacts you make are invaluable. Plus no day is the same. An anthropology degree is perfect for either of those routes and a Masters always helps. Hours are long though and it’s definitely a vocation!

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