do you and DH share your locations on your phones?

I could equally say you don't 'trust' your dh enough to share your location with him.

Cuts both ways.

I think it says more about your perception of a trusting relationship.

The other day he left work early and went to the pub. I had no idea until he told me when he got home. I’ve got my own job and life and don’t sit and watch his location.

If he’d been late home, I might have checked and seen he was at the pub and then known it was unlikely he’d been in a crash so no need to worry or expect him home until later.

I would genuinely have no idea if one day he left work at lunch to come home (and in your mind catch me with OM). Even though I can see his location it’d be a hell of a coincidence on the one day he came home early I happened to pick up my phone at the right time to check and notice it…

So what if he does? Is something sinister going on?

No, and we never have. I’m on Apple & he’s on Android so I don’t even know if it’s possible. Even if it is, I don’t feel any need to spy on him, nor he on me. It’s called ‘trust’.

We do. DH and I can see where each other is.

we used to track the DCs but they are young adults now so we no longer can see where they are. They can see where I am though. Doesn’t bother me all.

i think it’s very different sharing location in a stable 30 year relationship to a new boyfriend insisting on it. For us it’s really handy.

How do you know he doesn't look at it?

It is, because you can use it while also not thinking it's normal. You just have conversations about the pros and cons.

Yes.

You have to agree to share your location so my dd will have consented. It might blow some of your minds but a big reason why I share my location with others like dh is I trust them to know my location. If I did not trust dh, I would not share.

If someone is forcing dd to share her location, that is a very different issue (maybe some of you are paranoid for other reasons) but the problem is not the app but the boyfriend.

We do. I travel a lot for work, so when I'm travelling, my OH knows if I'm still on the road. More than happy if it keeps minds at rest that I'm ok.

When not travelling, we never look at it, as there isn't any point.

I mean she's gay so let's not be heteronormative about this.

It's dumb because there is a difference between consenting adults in a non abusive relationship deciding together they would find it useful, and one partner insisting on it. If my DH insisted on it I would have told him to fuck off. If my DD had a partner who insisted on it I'd tell her to dump the woman pronto. I'm not sure why you think it's a big gotcha question.

Like so much in life, it's not a black and white issue.

Don't have a DH or DP but I've never tracked my daughter, nor she me.

I'll tell her where I am in a text with an approximate travel time but that's it. She's 17 and tells me when she's on her way home.

@behindthemall you think he works until a certain time, but you make sure he is by tracking him.

Lack of trust I think.

Yes, we have life 360 and 12 year old DD is also on it.

@PoetryPlease "It's a really dumb question."

It isn't, you know. I don't want my dd to think that being tracked is normal.

I’d never be happy with any person being forced to do anything.

I control the money in our relationship. My husband is happy with this arrangement. I wouldn’t want any male or female forced into this arrangement.

My friends are a bit kinky in the bedroom. They both consent. I wouldn’t like to be forced into that arrangement, but doesn’t mean it isn’t a great thing for them.

My sister isn’t married. I wouldn’t like her to be forced into a marriage because it works for other people. I also don’t want to see marriage banned.

See also, religion, abortion and same sex or heterosexual relationships. I wouldn’t want ”my daughter” forced into any of those, but I do want them to be options for her and everyone else.

What a stupid question.

@PoetryPlease why is it dumb?

Would you be happy if your teenage daughter was being tracked by her boyfriend?

"but when it is needed, it could be a life saver."

Well- my dd used to like to hack out alone-and we turned tracking on on her phone when she did that-because there was a foreseeable possibility that she might end up knocked out on the ground. But it was on for that couple of hours only and off again immediately. But those are pretty unusual circumstances. DS was never tracked.

Of course. It’s so handy.

We do. 99% of the time I use it to see if he's on his way home from work as he often forgets to call 😂

Other 1% is usually when away and we've split up to do different things. Easier to find each other. Particularly if signal is poor.

Makes sense for us and never been any issues

It's a really dumb question.

No, so I can start logging off from my WFH job, or start making tea, or run round and do the tidying I said I’d do while he was out 😂 it would also be terrible for that as I don’t get a notification when he leaves places, and I think it’d be pretty boring for the hypothetical OM if I spent the whole time we were together watching DH’s location.

And knowing my location has zero bearing on whether I’m having an affair. I WFH and DH works until a certain time, so him seeing I’m home says nothing. Likewise, he could well be shagging at work. It’s nothing to do with trust.

it’s also useful if I think, I’ve not heard from DH today and the radio just said there’s been a crash on his route - I can at least see his phone made it safely to work without disturbing his day. He’d have no issue with me texting or ringing to check, but the technology means I don’t need to…

I asked that earlier in the thread and oddly enough, never got a response!

This 100%.

Who has time to stalk the app 😂

I know loads of people who do home visits and don’t get tracked by their partners.

If she’s running late then her DH knowing her location isn’t going to tell him whether she is safe or not.

There’s no way he can judge whether something has happened to prevent her leaving a clients home by simply knowing her location.

If he’s that worried about her safety then it would be better for her to text him saying - arrived at Xs address and then text him saying leaving Xs address.

But I can guarantee he wouldn’t want her doing that and would prefer to spend his day checking her location instead.