do you and DH share your locations on your phones?

I do feel safer knowing that at the back of my mind I am being tracked. That is because the person tracking me - dh - is someone I trust to look out for me.

Or it could be dcs wondering when I am coming home with their KFC!

Because I talk to her about what is and isn't acceptable in a relationship? She wouldn't even see me and DH do it because although technically we have the ability too, we very rarely do. So if someone she knew was going on about it then it wouldn't look normal to her. Because we've had conversations about the ethics of location sharing already. It's an interesting topic.

I think you’re missing the fact that I’m happy to share my own location with DH. I assume he feels the same. I trust him not to track me relentlessly and I trust that he won’t think anything untoward if I’m at a location he wasn’t expecting me to be at. Five years of location sharing has proved me right as he doesn’t always know my plans in advance and he has never once mentioned having “tracked” me at a suspicious location, and vice versa.

I feel more safe having at least one person know where I am.

My work calendar ALWAYS has my plans on it too, and my colleagues can see this. One morning a last minute meeting was arranged so I was late into the office but with nothing in my diary. Three colleagues called or text me during the meeting to check I was okay as I hadn’t made it in and they couldn’t see where I was. I was incredibly grateful that if something had happened there were multiple people aware and checking in. I feel exactly the same way about sharing my location with DH.

But I’m also happy with Apple and Google knowing my every move and purchase so long as it makes my life easier.

If this is your best argument against tracking, I think you have run out of ideas.

We do but don’t really check. If something happens to me, I want to be tracked.

Nope, husband and teenage kids. None of us would dream of such an idea.

You have an active imagination.

A good reminder to teach dd to spot an abuser. I don't think she has lost her mind just because she shared her location with her parents once upon a time.

We do - I leave work late at night and it even sends a notification to DH when I’m leaving the building, without me doing anything. I’d rather someone was able to check on me in those circumstances.
it also helps us plan things.
i rarely check his unless he’s on a 4 hour journey to his head office at 5am. I just want reassurance he’s safe

No, absolutely not. If one of us is traveling or otherwise doing something specific where tracking will be helpful then we’ll share our location for a set period of time (iPhones make this easy, I don’t know about others). I do the same with my parents/PIL if I’m on a long drive to see them. At most we set it to last until end of day.

Our DC will keep location visible to us until they leave school or pay for their own phones, whichever comes first, but we consider that a safety backup and don’t look at it regularly.

Absolutely not. I don’t let Apps track me.
I don’t care where DH is, if anything happens to him the police would soon get in touch.

You think this will only be the issue in this abusive relationship?

I suspect the abuser will be abusive regardless of whether or not she shares her location and regardless of whether the abuser even asks for it.

If it acts another red flag to get out of the relationship, then she should end it and I’d encourage her to do so.

I suspect that the reason the majority of posters track their spouses this way is because of trust issues, actually. Nothing screams 'I don't trust you as far as I can throw you' like tracking someone's every move.

Yeh we do and it’s works well. If I’m off doing the shopping and he is cooking dinner or something, he can keep on when I’m heading home so ye knows when to start and I don’t have to remember to let him know. Or if I’m on a work trip abroad it gives us both peace of mind that I’m okay!

Okay, so what if starts off as "normal" because everyone does it - she sees you and your DH do it, for example, so sees it as perfectly healthy.

Then it progresses and her partner uses it to start arguments, or to randomly turn up where she is - how do you persuade her that it's not okay when you do it and see it as normal?

All the people saying that they barely look at it... I wonder if they are understating their usage. And also, they can't possibly know how their partner behaves. To all the people that have said that there is no issue is you have nothing to add, I think that trust encourages trust and distrust encourages distrust, and there is something distrusting about feeling that one has to be able to track their partner at all times. Other than some very edge cases, most uses stated on this thread are entirely unnecessary... Do people really not bother to tell their partner when they have left work as they expect to be tracked? And as for tracking your kids, wow. Growing up is about taking risk and to some extent rebelling against your attachment figure in order to figure out how you are - not to be trackable at all times!

It's not a stupid question in the slightest.

The more things like this are normalised, the more they can be used in abusive and controlling relationships under the guise of "well, everyone else is doing it so why won't you?"

Again, would you be happy if your teens' boyfriend wanted to follow her every move? If not, why not?

@PommelHoss great minds think alike!!!

"Making sure dinner is ready"

Are you a 1950s wife?

Of course they do.... it's just a convenient excuse to say that's why they have to track their OHs because of..... rubbish!

Yes and I don’t see the issue.
For safety, for making sure dinner is ready, for making sure I’m at the train station to collect him etc.
If you’ve nothing to hide then why not?!

Yeah ok.

You can also turn location tracking on and off at will. 'Go dark' if you must.

Consent is the unifying factor.

Those saying they have it to follow their other halves when their running/cycling/walking, do you know there is a facility within Strava called Beacon which allows up to 3 emergency contacts to see where you are during your exercise session? So handy to be able to share location during periods where you are maybe at risk without being stalked when you're at work/going to the shops/out with friends/just going for a bit of peace and quiet and a sneaky coffee!

We don't. I find the idea incredibly creepy. I don't think it's my right to know where DH is at all times or his right to know where I am.

I also worry about the potential of this stuff to become a tool of abuse and control. It's not something I worry about in my marriage but then I guess most people in controlling or abusive relationships don't realise until it's too late to change things easily. I imagine for anyone naturally controlling or anxious, having this technology would easily become an addiction that fuels their issues too.

To those who say it helps people to get dinner ready on time... surely that's what a quick phonecall or text is for? Likewise with when to pick kids up from buses / trains etc? Sounds like just another way to cut down on human communication.