Hi
Name change. My kids are older -teenage - and we have an au pair who is well treated and paid and the kids do love her even though they think they’re too old to have an au pair. I want help still because 2-3 times a week I’m back from work at 7:30pm and for those 2-3 days she is around and able to see what’s going on and make dinner and make sure they’re not coming back to an empty house. She also brings a fun energy to the house and big sister vibe to my kids, one of whom is very attached and who has had some massive challenges. I’m a single parent.
Au pair is brilliant with kids, good cook and very intuitive. She does however drink way too much on a weekend - lost phones/smashed glasses/general oblivion and I have suggested she takes better care of herself but also she’s 20 and so I write it off as being like at college and being a bit daft. She did ask to bring a new boyfriend around a few months ago when the kids were at their dad’s (rare occurrence) but I said I didn’t want men I don’t know in the house or any visitors without meeting them and for then it was a no but if it became a longer term relationship and I had met him we could revisit that and we’d have to set boundaries on that. He hasn’t been mentioned since. She is always talking about men she’s chatting up at the weekends so no idea if he’s on the scene or not.
Me and kids are away and au pair has stayed at home for the week (for which she is being paid normal wage and dog sitting wage on top). I have a ring doorbell. I had some alerts at 3am so I looked back. Basically at 3am she got a deliveroo and the dog escaped through the front door and ran away. A shirtless man ran out after it and caught my dog and brought it back (thank god!). When I went back and looked at the ring footage there is no record of him coming into the house but there is of her and the dog (and her looking quite pissed). It’s weird but I’m thinking she must be going in and turning off the WiFi before letting the man in. Obviously when the dog escaped they didn’t have time to do that.
There is also a record of him coming to the door and her handing him something that could be a packet of drugs but maybe now I’m over thinking and it’s a bag of tea. I’d guess it’s the former and she might be a bit of a stoner in hindsight. I think this was recorded as it triggered the motion sensor but she probably didn’t realise it was because he didn’t ring the bell. (she could be a bit of a stoner or just being 20 - basically most days she doesn’t surface till midday).
She also left the dog for 6 hours one day which is longer than usual albeit he’s a good dog and would be ok probably for that long as a one off. I had said to her that if she needed to leave him for the day she should message my friend who will dog sit cover for us.
We are away for another 6 days. My best friend is away, my two usual dog sitting friends are unwell, my ex husband is angry because honestly he’s an arse, my family are miles away so I don’t really have anyone to pop around. I am worried she’s going to go on the lash again today with the dog in tow across London. I am worried about randoms in my home. I hate being lied to and I don’t know if my theory on her turning off the WiFi is right. But we are in another country so short of cutting the holiday short (which I really don’t want to do as we need it) I am at a loss as to what to call and say or message her with as I’m not there if she reacts badly.
My best friend says just ignore the ring doorbell and what the eyes don’t see the heart don’t grieve and wait to talk to her but I’m now worried for dog and for her and for jewellery etc in my house or someone leaving a door open. What should I do until I return please? If this indecision sounds pathetic then I understand as it feels pathetic, It’s hard being on holiday as a single parent and I just want to keep the peace and have a nice time but this has made me feel sick with worry this morning.
Thanks for getting this far.