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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she's gearing up to cancel?

508 replies

SunflowerMabel · 03/08/2024 08:02

Last year the mum of my DC's friend kindly offered for her to join them on a mini break they had planned this year. I paid for her share of the accommodation and food (around £300)

Getting together has been a bit more tricky since they started (different) schools but we generally met up once a month or so.

So, they are due to go on on this mini break on Monday and I haven't heard back from mum. I text last weekend suggesting we meet up for lunch/an activity and asked for confirmation RE what time they'd be leaving to get to the destination etc and I haven't heard anything back at all.

She has been active on social media. I don't want to pester her but I'm getting a bit concerned that there's a cancellation coming. Surely there would be some contact by now if it was going ahead?

AIBU/WWYD?

OP posts:
Original poster
SunflowerMabel · 03/08/2024 17:58

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You're back AGAIN?!

Nope. I'm not reading all of that. I've read more than enough from you today. Toodles.

OP posts:
TheSecretIsland · 03/08/2024 17:58

Honestly no wonder that children today are riddled with anxiety. The concern and anxiety of posters who aren't even the parent are off the scale. This insular approach isn't healthy or normal.

Glad it has all been resolved. Butlins is great for that age.

HeartandSeoul · 03/08/2024 17:56

SophieJo · 03/08/2024 17:04

Just wasted 5 minutes reading this! What a ‘non’ drama!

At least the OP came back with an update! I don’t mind what the outcome is, as long as we’re not left hanging (so thanks OP!).

OP, I hope your daughter has a lovely time away, and sorry you’ve had to deal with negative people on this post.

Glitterandglue · 03/08/2024 17:56

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The thing is, asking for opinions doesn't mean you have to go with the majority. This isn't the Brexit referendum. It's just to see what other people's thoughts are. And if when you get them you realise that most of them are irrelevant to you, then you discount them when making your own decision. Maybe getting lots of other opinions was what made OP realise she felt weird about letting her daughter go not because there was actually anything wrong with it but because she had internalised other people's worries.

Crunchymum · 03/08/2024 17:55

SunflowerMabel · 03/08/2024 13:47

I've had a response!

She has apologised for not getting back to me sooner, she was camping last weekend when I text her and didn't get around to checking her messages. We're both a bit like that sometimes so usually i wouldn't bat an eye, it was just the fact the trip was coming up that concerned me.

She said she went to text me today and that's when she saw today's ones.

It's still going ahead, she's been packing this morning and has got the girls some bits for the journey.

She doesn't sound like she was looking for an out.

I think I was worrying about nothing as far as her cancelling goes 🤦🏼‍♀️

You'd have probably been better off if she had cancelled 😮

I thought year 1 was a typo!!!

Original poster
SunflowerMabel · 03/08/2024 17:54

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You've probably never felt any joy in your life. The way you hang around threads all day long trying to bring people down isn't indicative of a happy individual.

I'd be so sad if I found out any of my friends or family behaved like that.

Try being a little more kind. Nobody likes rude people.

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 03/08/2024 17:48

SunflowerMabel · 03/08/2024 17:15

Oh dear, well that's 5 minutes you'll never get back!

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Plus don’t forget the 30 seconds wasted in posting to say it was a non drama. It just gets worse … 😱 Don’t come to MN unless you are sick in bed, bored or procrastinating. Then you won’t mind as much .

Frenchsplit · 03/08/2024 17:46

I hope your DD has a lovely time 😊

brightyellowflower · 03/08/2024 17:45

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Sunshineandpool · 03/08/2024 17:39

extrasushiplease · 03/08/2024 17:34

I love a happy ending! And as an adult diagnosed with ADHD as well as having avoidance issues (not on treatment yet, but I work hard every day to compensate for my brain's annoying default setting), I give you double kudos.

I completely agree with this (I'm autistic.) well done you for sorting it.

Yes, it is young for your DD to go away but I understand your reasoning re: your disabled DC. Also you have known this mum for 2 and a half years and sounds like you've spent lots of time with her. She is not a stranger! Also the fact she works in safeguarding for the police is another important factor.

At the end of the day you know your DD well enough to know if she will be ok. Hope she has a lovely time. Butlins is great for that age!

despiteappearance · 03/08/2024 17:37

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Portfun24 · 03/08/2024 17:36

Just wanted to say op, I'd of let my child go with her/my friend in your situation so just a show of support. Hope she has a great time, which I'm sure she will as she will be kept so busy.

bakail · 03/08/2024 17:36

@despiteappearance I rest my case.

extrasushiplease · 03/08/2024 17:34

I love a happy ending! And as an adult diagnosed with ADHD as well as having avoidance issues (not on treatment yet, but I work hard every day to compensate for my brain's annoying default setting), I give you double kudos.

despiteappearance · 03/08/2024 17:33

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bakail · 03/08/2024 17:32

This place becomes more joyless with every passing year. Sigh.

You sound perfectly fine to me OP.

VioletMountainHare · 03/08/2024 17:19

Chipsahoy · 03/08/2024 15:09

Stop blaming your adhd. My boys and dh have adhd so I understand how it can affect you but you seem to be leaning on that as an excuse. You cannot send your child away with this woman whether she cancels or not. My youngest is your child’s age, the Mind boggles.

The OP has been open about her thoughts/feelings/actions on this situation, not sure where you’re seeing excuses. Out of interest, why can’t she send her child on holiday with her friend?

Original poster
SunflowerMabel · 03/08/2024 17:15

SophieJo · 03/08/2024 17:04

Just wasted 5 minutes reading this! What a ‘non’ drama!

Oh dear, well that's 5 minutes you'll never get back!

OP posts:
ZiriForGood · 03/08/2024 17:12

Wow. Bad parenting? Really? In my home country we had a residential trip as 5yos at the pre-school.

They will be one hour away and catered. Don't let anyone spoil it for you both, she will enjoy it.

DreamTheMoors · 03/08/2024 17:12

SunflowerMabel · 03/08/2024 16:20

Aye I bet you will, because you've clearly got nothing better to do with your time than to keep coming back to this thread.

Why couldn't you just give your opinion and move on? It's a bit weird..

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I pity the people hoping for the worst for people, in particular when it involves little children.

I hope your daughter has fun, @SunflowerMabel and the trip is a safe one and that everybody arrives home happy.

SophieJo · 03/08/2024 17:04

Just wasted 5 minutes reading this! What a ‘non’ drama!

WalkInAStraightLine · 03/08/2024 17:02

SunflowerMabel · 03/08/2024 16:20

Aye I bet you will, because you've clearly got nothing better to do with your time than to keep coming back to this thread.

Why couldn't you just give your opinion and move on? It's a bit weird..

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It's AIBU.... people make up their own 'facts' then accuse you (general 'you') of being a troll when you say something that contradicts the imagined fact Grin

You've been clear throughout the thread, and I hope your DD has a fab time.

ajandjjmum · 03/08/2024 16:58

Hope your DD has a fab time!

Pogggle · 03/08/2024 16:51

Anonym00se · 03/08/2024 14:31

Just wanted to say that my ‘BF’ when I was little was my Mum’s friend’s DD. We didn’t go to the same school and only saw each other in school holidays. I spent loads of time with their family from a similar age to your DD. We’d have days out, sleepovers and I’d go camping with them regularly. I’m sure your DD will have a lovely time!

I was exactly the same except we did go to the same school. We were always going out and going on holiday with each others families. I thought this was pretty normal but maybe not

Witchbitch20 · 03/08/2024 16:50

@SunflowerMabel I’m so glad it’s all sorted.

Im sure your daughter will have a great time.

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