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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think she's gearing up to cancel?

508 replies

SunflowerMabel · 03/08/2024 08:02

Last year the mum of my DC's friend kindly offered for her to join them on a mini break they had planned this year. I paid for her share of the accommodation and food (around £300)

Getting together has been a bit more tricky since they started (different) schools but we generally met up once a month or so.

So, they are due to go on on this mini break on Monday and I haven't heard back from mum. I text last weekend suggesting we meet up for lunch/an activity and asked for confirmation RE what time they'd be leaving to get to the destination etc and I haven't heard anything back at all.

She has been active on social media. I don't want to pester her but I'm getting a bit concerned that there's a cancellation coming. Surely there would be some contact by now if it was going ahead?

AIBU/WWYD?

OP posts:
Dontfuckingsaycheese · 05/08/2024 02:11

SunflowerMabel · 05/08/2024 00:09

Thank you all so much for the well wishes for DD's trip 😊

After speaking to OH again at length we are happy for her to go (he always was, it was me who was dithering)

Friend is a v responsible and kind parent/person and I trust that she'll take good care of her.

I have been promised regular updates. I think she's going to have an absolute blast as there's some fun shows and activities lined up.

If for any reason she wants to come home early we have a plan in place for me to go over and collect her.

I'm sending her with £ for treats for the pair of them and I'm going to buy mum something nice as a thank you a truck full of wine is what she will need after 4 nights with the two little hurricanes!

Speaking as a mother who often took other people’s children out/away I’d say give (insist on giving!) the treat money to the mother rather than the child. Then that can go to the group “who wants an ice cream” and other treaty opportunities. You can’t really expect a five-year old to offer to get a round in! They see it as their money and spend it on extra crap/tat!

tygertygers · 05/08/2024 01:46

This thread is insane! You never know which threads will attract a Greek chorus of hyenas who can't wait to tell you to "give your head a wobble" about your "poor parenting choices".

Hope she has a great time OP. Update us after the week and let us know how much fun she had, give the hyenas something to gnash their teeth about!

llizzie · 05/08/2024 01:00

Marseillaise · 04/08/2024 23:43

She hasn't admitted she doesn't know the woman. She said she's known her for about 2.5 years, the children have had sleepovers as well as dozens of days out together, and on several occasions the woman has taken has taken her (OP's) daughter out on her own without her mum for day trips etc.

Why on earth do people come on here and make up their own facts purely to give themselves something to attack the OP for?

Show quote history

You are so right. There must be many people on here who do just that, and they incite one another. It leads to depression.

TeaAndTattoos · 05/08/2024 00:56

She is going to have an amazing time I loved Butlins as a kid my parents are disabled so going there meant that we could entertain ourselves and my parents didn’t need to worry about us.

HowMuchShouldBePaid · 05/08/2024 00:38

I expect she'll have a fab time , I've only skimmed the responses , but a responsible/ crb checked / safeguarding friend sounds , to me, ideal.

Original poster
SunflowerMabel · 05/08/2024 00:09

Thank you all so much for the well wishes for DD's trip 😊

After speaking to OH again at length we are happy for her to go (he always was, it was me who was dithering)

Friend is a v responsible and kind parent/person and I trust that she'll take good care of her.

I have been promised regular updates. I think she's going to have an absolute blast as there's some fun shows and activities lined up.

If for any reason she wants to come home early we have a plan in place for me to go over and collect her.

I'm sending her with £ for treats for the pair of them and I'm going to buy mum something nice as a thank you a truck full of wine is what she will need after 4 nights with the two little hurricanes!

OP posts:
Tophelleborine · 04/08/2024 23:49

Wow, there are some absolutely fucking mental replies on this thread! OP, I hope your daughter has a really lovely break with her friend.

Marseillaise · 04/08/2024 23:43

Kjpt140v · 04/08/2024 19:32

I would never allow my child go at such a young age. I've read your excuses, that's what they are, and they don't wash with me. This is a safeguarding issue, you admit you don't know the woman, for goodness sake. You should be phoning her and telling her you've decided not to allow your child to go. Give your head a wobble.

She hasn't admitted she doesn't know the woman. She said she's known her for about 2.5 years, the children have had sleepovers as well as dozens of days out together, and on several occasions the woman has taken has taken her (OP's) daughter out on her own without her mum for day trips etc.

Why on earth do people come on here and make up their own facts purely to give themselves something to attack the OP for?

Marseillaise · 04/08/2024 23:37

3luckystars · 04/08/2024 22:40

If you take one thing from this thread, will you please start listening to your instincts.

Your ‘reservations’ and ‘second thoughts’ and ‘feeling unsure’ are your instincts and you should listen to them.

Not anyone else. YOURSELF.
please!!

And don’t feel embarrassed about changing your mind and getting your child out of any situation. No need to explain why you feel, you just do and always act on these instincts.

People are constantly trotting this one out, and it's nonsense. There's nothing infallible about instinct, rather the reverse. If I'd listened to my instincts the other day when I visited somewhere unfamiliar, I'd still be wandering around trying to find my way now. Instead I got the map out. Only the other day on here, countless posters were telling someone to listen to her instincts when she thought her grandmother had died - Granny is alive and well.

garderose · 04/08/2024 23:05

Apolloneuro · 03/08/2024 13:35

Well I think people should have to take a niceness test before being allowed to post on mumsnet.

Some proper nasty people on the threads today, enjoying being bitchy to people posting for advice.

Agrée

garderose · 04/08/2024 23:03

Motherland2624 · 03/08/2024 12:50

This is crazy people should take a test before having or being responsible for children

Nasty and unnecessary

Original poster
SunflowerMabel · 04/08/2024 22:43

Kjpt140v · 04/08/2024 19:32

I would never allow my child go at such a young age. I've read your excuses, that's what they are, and they don't wash with me. This is a safeguarding issue, you admit you don't know the woman, for goodness sake. You should be phoning her and telling her you've decided not to allow your child to go. Give your head a wobble.

Oh bugger off you weirdo I've said nothing of the sort 🤣

OP posts:
3luckystars · 04/08/2024 22:40

If you take one thing from this thread, will you please start listening to your instincts.

Your ‘reservations’ and ‘second thoughts’ and ‘feeling unsure’ are your instincts and you should listen to them.

Not anyone else. YOURSELF.
please!!

And don’t feel embarrassed about changing your mind and getting your child out of any situation. No need to explain why you feel, you just do and always act on these instincts.

Bellsandthistle · 04/08/2024 22:15

She’ll have a great time. Some posters on here keep their children in a bubble and wrapped in cotton wool at all times and judge others for not doing so.

Josette77 · 04/08/2024 22:13

Kjpt140v · 04/08/2024 19:32

I would never allow my child go at such a young age. I've read your excuses, that's what they are, and they don't wash with me. This is a safeguarding issue, you admit you don't know the woman, for goodness sake. You should be phoning her and telling her you've decided not to allow your child to go. Give your head a wobble.

Op quite clearly states she knows the woman quite well, and she works in safe guarding.

What exactly is the issue?

Vergeofbreakdown23 · 04/08/2024 21:49

SunflowerMabel · 03/08/2024 20:14

Well aren't you an absolute delight, I bet you're popular.

As you asked.. no, I've never spoken to her in the flesh. When we meet up we communicate via text, or gesticulating if I'm in a good mood.

Show quote history

😂😂😂😂
@SunflowerMabel I'm glad you've had a reply and all is good to go. I'm sure the girls will have a fab time.
I was going to post saying you're probably over thinking it a bit as you've not heard from her - I do this and end up with all the worst case scenarios in my head!
Glad you're sorted ❤️

WWHRD · 04/08/2024 20:59

@Omlettes

It's not just generational. Many people find phonecalls very difficult, particularly those who are neurodivergent, like the OP. Isn't it great that the world has become so much more accessible with a whole choice of options depending on personal preference?

AngelinaFibres · 04/08/2024 20:19

ShillyShallySherbet · 03/08/2024 08:18

Wow that’s very young to be going away with another family! I wouldn’t be sending my 5 year old away with someone who I wasn’t really, really close to and definitely not someone who doesn’t reply to my messages. I’d be glad if it’s cancelled to be honest, hope you get your money back.

This.

moose62 · 04/08/2024 20:07

I took a friends 4 year old child for a weeks holiday abroad. She had a major emergency and I had a holiday booked in France so took her child with mine. She had a great time.

BowlOfNoodles · 04/08/2024 19:51

Kjpt140v · 04/08/2024 19:32

I would never allow my child go at such a young age. I've read your excuses, that's what they are, and they don't wash with me. This is a safeguarding issue, you admit you don't know the woman, for goodness sake. You should be phoning her and telling her you've decided not to allow your child to go. Give your head a wobble.

Sorry but why on earth wouid she care about what was washes with you? Who are you to her? 😂😂😂😂 that was hilarious

Frenchsplit · 04/08/2024 19:49

Kjpt140v · 04/08/2024 19:32

I would never allow my child go at such a young age. I've read your excuses, that's what they are, and they don't wash with me. This is a safeguarding issue, you admit you don't know the woman, for goodness sake. You should be phoning her and telling her you've decided not to allow your child to go. Give your head a wobble.

Ridiculous

Runnerinthenight · 04/08/2024 19:49

Kjpt140v · 04/08/2024 19:32

I would never allow my child go at such a young age. I've read your excuses, that's what they are, and they don't wash with me. This is a safeguarding issue, you admit you don't know the woman, for goodness sake. You should be phoning her and telling her you've decided not to allow your child to go. Give your head a wobble.

She does no such thing!! Give your own head a wobble!!

The woman actually works in safeguarding ffs!

Kjpt140v · 04/08/2024 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Kjpt140v · 04/08/2024 19:32

I would never allow my child go at such a young age. I've read your excuses, that's what they are, and they don't wash with me. This is a safeguarding issue, you admit you don't know the woman, for goodness sake. You should be phoning her and telling her you've decided not to allow your child to go. Give your head a wobble.

Lollipop81 · 04/08/2024 19:27

Some of the responses on this thread, my god. I’m glad you’ve sorted it now. I hate speaking to people on the phone too, definitely refer texting. Not sure why I never used to be like that 😂😂

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