To think she's gearing up to cancel?

Putting aside the lack of communication at the moment No I don't think it is a bad decision.

Whilst I understand why many would not let their child go it doesn't mean it isn't suitable for your child.

Of my children two would be suitable and one wouldn't just because of their personality .

I also think it is important to realise as you have said that your child has less experiences due to the siblings special needs and that it isn't wrong to do things a bit differently to help her have these experiences.

I also don't think that there is any issue over paying for it, as it was discussed upfront and you agreed.

Obviously the not replying to messages puts a different slant on it, agree with ringing her. Hope it all works out

Just give her a call. And if she has decided your daughter isn’t going then ask for the money back.

She doesn't need to give an excuse - they're meant to be leaving on Monday!

I'd ring her and be like "we're fine either way but just need to know" - the either way being your DD goes (if you still want that) or they just give you your money back and go themselves, with no judgement if they'd prefer that. Keeping your £300 is of course not an option! I'd probably something as an excuse like the grandparents are asking if DD is free that day to do something else.

You don’t fell comfortable phoning but your daughter is going away with them?

Nope. The only people I would have let my 5 year old go away with would have been my parents or my sister.

Do you think she might be staying silent in the hope that you change your mind and cancel so she doesn't have to?

I wouldn't want to take someone else's 5 year old for a week but would hate to be the one to cancel in this situation.

What does your DH think? Or other family members who know your daughter well?

If they think it’s a go and if you can get over the chronic awkwardness of calling up, let her go. She’s only an hour away and it sounds like it may be beneficial, on the whole, for all involved. The other parents have someone for their daughter to play with, the kids will enjoy being together, you get a little bit of respite and your son has you to himself for a while.

I say that assuming with your caring responsibilities for your son, if there was a problem, would you be able to get the train you mentioned?

Good point.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the trip @SunflowerMabel. There were people I’d happily have let mine go with at that age xxx

Ring her. However, I agree with pp, 5 years old is too young, looking at it from all sides. Just cancel. Someone will have an anecdote about going to the Amazon with another family when they were 4, but this is your reality.
You made a mistake, it happens.

Just to take a step back here and forget the money, are you sure you want your DD5 to be going away with a family that you're not comfortable having a phone conversation with?

Just ring her. Stop listening to people in mumsnet and ring your friend.

i knew someone who send their 6 year old off for a week or more to Italy with a school friend - the girls were fine, and you are only going to be an hour away.

this of course assumes the other mum still wants to take her . If that’s not the case then it needs clearing up sooner than later. Why are you waiting until this evening? Why not phone this morning?

I think I'd just cancel it OP, I'd say your DD is unwell or something, I'm not sure sending a 5yr old away with somebody she doesn't know super well is a great idea...

Can you plan something else with DD this week, even just a really nice day trip?

You paid £300 for your 5 year old to go to a holiday park with another family? You’re a mug, you just paid for their holiday. What a bizarre thing to do, why would you even let your child go away with another family like that?

I wouldn't leave it until tonight, give her a call this morning so you can gauge what her reaction is. Could be she's got something going on in her life right now and has worked out final timings/details for Monday in her head.

If she does have any reservations and you feel she's not sure now, suggest she take someone else and you'll have your money back, so that's £300 towards day trips/treats for your DD in the hols.

You should call her this morning. Not put it off. Your dd deserves to know she’s not going so you can get your money back and organise / pay for some good activities with her.

This. I was quite shocked when you said year one. No way would I be sending my child off with a flaky, unreliable friend for a few days at that age. Heck I don’t think I’d even let family.

This!

You'd rather say goodbye to that money than make a phone call to a woman you apparently trust enough to leave your young child with her for several days?

Ok so it’s not like absolutely nothing has been mentioned about it recently so it would be very odd if she now cancels, I’d either call her or if you really can’t bring yourself to do that then send her another message asking if it’s still happening and if that isn’t responded to I think you have your answer, message her giving her your bank details to return the money.

Did either of you mention this holiday when you last had contact two weeks ago?